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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#61

Post by confidantlake »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

The phrasing seems confusing and manipulative. Did you like my approach or not?

I would rather someone be straight up with me. If you don't like the approach or would have done it differently say so and we can talk about it. Save the compliments for when I do something you actually like.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#62

Post by hmcq6 »

gabereiser wrote: post #35
freedomben wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your second example is a good one and I agree is a more effective approach to communicating. But GP was right. There's a huge difference between your first example: > “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” and the second: > “Thank you for the effort…” The first is most likely a lie, otherwise you wouldn't be offering an alternative suggestion! If somebody said that to me I'd feel…

Offering a different point of view helps either confirm their decisions or open up avenues for improvement of their work. It’s not about telling “this is how I would do it” but rather “Have you thought about other options and approaches? What do you think? Why did you choose this route?” helps the individual weigh the pros and cons with each. It should never be an opportunity for you to chime in with how you would ha…

"I like the way you tackeled this" Implies the work has been done successfully. ", have you thought about this approach?" is trying to imply that the work is not sufficient actually without actually saying that. Your message has taken a complete 180 since the first half of the sentence but you haven't given the listener any clues because if you use a word like "but" it might hurt the facade of niceness. It's mixed messaging.

But I think a lot of the issue here is because were talking about a made up example. If we just add a little more detail to the made up response it clears up a lot of the ambiguity and makes it sound less contradictory.

"I really liked how you tackled [X Requirement], have you thought about [Y Requirement + approach]?"

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#63

Post by thegrimmest »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

This is a very stylistic and subjective take. Not all workplace cultures and not all people prefer to communicate this way, and many of us resent the "YTA" label that is applied to a direct communication style. I don't work for praise, and I maintain high standards as a matter of personal professionalism. I couldn't care less whether my colleagues recognize me, and business leaders don't care about your effort; they care about the bottom line.

It's not surprising that your video relates to children. This sort of feelings-driven approach has no place in a professional workplace full of adults who are all expected to know why they're there, the terms of their employment, and what objective they're working towards. In fact I find it somewhat demeaning to have the default communication style be so childish.

Did you notice that "Why didn't you do it this way?" is rather less verbose than your alternative? This holds true in the general case too: communication tailored to your audience is much more verbose, and therefore laborious to produce, than communication written following the ABCs - accuracy, brevity, clarity. Imagine all the time that such organizations waste rewording things ad infinitum. Managing emotional state should be the responsibility of the listener/reader, while the communicator's job should be to get their idea across as clearly and concisely as possible. It's just more efficient that way.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#64

Post by SilverBirch »

agloe_dreams wrote: post #5

I disagree with the angle on this about asking and how to go about things but mostly because complimenting in context is helpful. When someone does great work, tell everyone, not just their manager. Do it in public and clearly in standups after they talk about what they did last day/week. "I just want to mention, that work that Joe did on that module is fantastic, thanks!" It is so easy to be a force for good. Being…

I actually think the tip about asking is really useful for one specific reason - and it totally might not apply to you. Engineers can be extremely unaware of social cues. I feel confident I can judge my time and place and phrase my compliments such that I don't feel like I need to ask first - or atleast that I'm a good enough judge of context to know when I need to ask first. I'm pretty good at getting to know people and I'm very good at coming across open and well intentioned. To use a wanky term - I'm good at building trusted relationships.

However some people really struggle with social interactions and judging situations. The advice about asking is really valuable for someone who isn't quite as good at judging complex situations. It's simple - just ask! It might not apply to everyone.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#66

Post by Kalium »

freedomben wrote: post #27
gabereiser wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let’s break down your version: “I think it would be better if…” You start with an opinion. That’s going to cause any listener to put up their guard. It’s the beginning of any sort of confrontations. By saying “Thank you for the effort…” you are acknowledging the work they put into it and showing empathy by seeing their work they have done. If it isn’t correct, either it should have been course corrected by management…

Your second example is a good one and I agree is a more effective approach to communicating. But GP was right. There's a huge difference between your first example: > “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” and the second: > “Thank you for the effort…” The first is most likely a lie, otherwise you wouldn't be offering an alternative suggestion! If somebody said that to me I'd feel…

These approaches and how effective they are are both culturally and individually sensitive.

The "Yes, but" approach works well in a context where people understand it as feedback that they should change. Softening the criticism with praise works for many people. It can also backfire in a context where people distrust praise, where the criticism is not understood as such, or when people have trouble with American business idioms.

The more direct approach works better in other contexts. I have had coworkers who responded much better to blunt criticism about why they should do things differently than to a praise sandwich.

This gets very tricky if you are interacting with multiple very different people at once. What is a strong enough criticism for one person might be well below detectable for another. There isn't one ideal answer or approach.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#67

Post by [deleted] »

BytesAndGears wrote: post #51
freedomben wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

to be clear, I fully agree with this and your broader point. It's the specific verbiage in your first example that I think is problematic, mainly because it feels disingenuous and insincere at best, manipulative at worst. Which is highly unfortunate because I think the vast majority of the time the motives are pure!

It’s funny because I still feel the opposite of you — I think the example where you say that you like their solution is a better approach, as long as it’s not horrible. It leaves open the possibility that you as the reviewer are actually mistaken, and they possibly have a good reason for doing it that way. I may be the senior reviewing the junior’s code, but they probably spent longer looking at the problem than me a…

[deleted]

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#68

Post by ghaff »

metafunctor wrote: post #20
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

Sounds like a dysfunctional workplace, or at least a very bad manager, if one has to secretly help colleagues. I'd leave that boss or job as soon as possible. Giving praise should always be OK. Rephrasing feedback for bad work as praise also sounds like a bad idea. In my experience, negative feedback should be honest, clear, constructive, and private.

>Sounds like a dysfunctional workplace, or at least a very bad manager, if one has to secretly help colleagues.

There are gradations of things though. There are sometimes things you want to be doing, don't take a huge amount of time, and you know are clearly out of your scope. You then have a choice to just stop doing or continue to do quietly on the side. (Where the helpee knows silence is golden.)

Companies function through all sorts of informal networks that are often better for not having too much light shown on everything.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#69

Post by SilverBirch »

One thing I'd add to this: When your coworker does great work - tell them! It's great when people notice you've done something good. Not everything has to be reported to a manager, sometimes just compliment their work or thank them for the effort.
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