How to Apologize
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How to Apologize
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Re: How to Apologize
#2This a good analysis.
I wonder though whether over time this kind of understanding is just going to become a formula or best practice that ends up being handled by a PR department.
If it does, then how will we detect an authentic apology from a formulaic one?
Re: How to Apologize
#3This a good analysis. I wonder though whether over time this kind of understanding is just going to become a formula or best practice that ends up being handled by a PR department. If it does, then how will we detect an authentic apology from a formulaic one?
Presumably only by observing a company over time: does their behaviour change? Have they kept their promises for how they're going to fix it?
Re: How to Apologize
#4This a good analysis. I wonder though whether over time this kind of understanding is just going to become a formula or best practice that ends up being handled by a PR department. If it does, then how will we detect an authentic apology from a formulaic one?
Presumably only by observing a company over time: does their behaviour change? Have they kept their promises for how they're going to fix it?
An excellent point... but to be honest, if every company reacted like this when they screwed up it wouldn't actually be a bad thing :-)
Re: How to Apologize
#5Very good article, I'd never really thought about it before, but the 5 points listed would definitely make me feel a lot better about an apology from a company.
I'd also love to see a company's apology where the 'how we will fix it' statement is "I shall be entering rehab tomorrow morning"
Re: How to Apologize
#6This a good analysis. I wonder though whether over time this kind of understanding is just going to become a formula or best practice that ends up being handled by a PR department. If it does, then how will we detect an authentic apology from a formulaic one?
I think most PR people already know the formula. So for big companies it is hard to tell when it is genuine (and when you are speaking for 10,000 people, some of it is genuine and some of it is not, employees have their own personal opinions).
But for small companies the founder's bias just comes right through. If the founder isn't really apologetic they will end up writing a half-apology, even if they know this formula. The formula really requires you to own up to the full responsibility and sometimes the founders don't want to.
Re: How to Apologize
#7Earlier quoted context omitted.
Presumably only by observing a company over time: does their behaviour change? Have they kept their promises for how they're going to fix it?
An excellent point... but to be honest, if every company reacted like this when they screwed up it wouldn't actually be a bad thing :-)
It would if it was just a rote statement that they hadn't thought about.
A bit like the call centers which effusively state "I'd be more than happy to help you with that" after each thing you say to them.
Re: How to Apologize
#8This a good analysis. I wonder though whether over time this kind of understanding is just going to become a formula or best practice that ends up being handled by a PR department. If it does, then how will we detect an authentic apology from a formulaic one?
Presumably only by observing a company over time: does their behaviour change? Have they kept their promises for how they're going to fix it?
I guess that would apply equally to companies who botched their statement of apology but actually took a lot of steps to improve things.
The point is that over time this makes the apology itself moot.
Re: How to Apologize
#9"Women: Need another beer? Let one of our friendly (female) event staff get that for you."
I suppose it varies with culture, but I can't imagine any of the women I know getting upset about that line.
So a genuine question, are we getting to a point where you need to think so much before actually saying anything? Personally, even if I were the butt of a mildly racist joke I would probably enjoy the joke than be offended.
Re: How to Apologize
#10I'm a bit torn on this whole issue, I wonder if somebody could give me some perspective. There are two conflicting things I don't like here. In the first place, I don't like when people are so sensitive that there's no room for a harmless joke. In most cases I really would say "oh come on lighten up." On the other hand, among us computer programmers, there's so much social ineptness (and perhaps outright disrespect for women, but I'm giving the benefit of the doubt because I really don't understand why it would be particularly prevalent here, other than perhaps a result of ineptness) on the part of the males that a lot of it really isn't so harmless. Not necessarily because it sets out to make women uncomfortable, it's just not funny. And if it's not genuinely funny, the only conclusion women (having better taste than men, I hope I'm not sexist for saying so) can draw is that they're being disrespected.
I feel like this joke is somewhere on the line. In a world where people aren't putting pornography in their slide presentations for no apparent reason, maybe we could take this joke at face value (ha ha, we're all sex deprived computer nerds who would do anything to interact with women for a second). On the other hand it's not particularly funny (and I didn't really get the joke before they explained it), and in this world I can have some sympathy for the women.
I guess my ultimate point is, and I'd like to hear what others here think, I hope it's not too late to turn this around, such the solution is more genuine respect and tact so we can safely go back to actual harmless jokes, rather than this turning into another "PC police" scenario that's going to start making us uncomfortable for different reasons.