Earlier quoted context omitted.
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Eh? I don't understand what you're saying.
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Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
121–130 of 222 posts
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#122So from my understanding. Anxious people are so anxious that they overload the part of the brain that typical deals with anxiety so the brain routes it to another part of the brain to deal with it and that part of the brain isn't what you want dealing with it so it cause problems. So the key is too limit overloading the part of the brain that deals with anxiety, which probably means doing things you are fearing to do…
Im also responding to the "do the things you fear" bit: I think you are right. As to why this works for some and worsens it for others, I think that depends on how you approach this. In my experience these confrontational situations need to strike a certain place between "too easy" and "too hard". It hardly helps to throw people into situations they can't handle again and again. A more gradual approach via small wins…
IMO, the ‘just toughen up’ advice is people kind of giving up.
It’s not wrong per-se - just useless. If they could do that, they wouldn’t be in the situation! Like telling someone with PTSD to ‘just calm down’, or someone with an eating disorder to ‘eat normally’. If they could, they wouldn’t have the problem!
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#123So from my understanding. Anxious people are so anxious that they overload the part of the brain that typical deals with anxiety so the brain routes it to another part of the brain to deal with it and that part of the brain isn't what you want dealing with it so it cause problems. So the key is too limit overloading the part of the brain that deals with anxiety, which probably means doing things you are fearing to do…
So in a way anxiety prevents learning a.k.a moving past "undesired" behaviours.
It’s a maladaptive response, yes.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#124Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you say something unpleasant to a boss or someone else with the power to hurt you in life, even if it is aligned with your values (like enforcing boundaries or refusing unethical tasks), you may get fired, lose your income and destabilize your future safety, and have every reason to feel bad about your situation.
I see your point but I’d argue that if you feel bad about this it means your core value is actually financial stability over sticking to your principles at any cost, and in that case your actions and intentions didn’t align with what you truly value.
Easy to say when you aren’t homeless or at risk of being made homeless.
For some folks, unfortunately, lying at times is a necessary survival mechanism.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#125Earlier quoted context omitted.
Fear is an immediate, emotional response to a known or definite threat. Anxiety is a more prolonged emotion that arises from an anticipated or potential threat or a situation that's uncertain. Unlike fear, the source of anxiety might not be real or immediate.
Fear is a response to a perceived threat. For example, in a panic attack you fear dying, but you are in no more danger than anyone else. Anxiety is a kind of fuzzy term because it encompasses an overall pattern and cycle as well as the associated feelings. But a useful distinction is that anxiety is driven by avoidance of fear of some uncertainty, and exposure and acclimation to that fear (without avoidance) is what…
I think this splits hairs. Yes, fear means "perceived" threat. You could be acculturated to handling venomous snakes, but that doesn't male the average modern society dweller pathologically fearful of the same snakes. Anxiety is about the distorted anticipation of a threat. E.g., the snake handler has been doing this his whole life, but after seeing his brother accidentally step on one, get bitten, and die, he starts fearing that every one of his future interactions with snakes will be so likely to entail that outcome that he refuses to touch them anymore, and can't avoid a panic attack if he's in the room with one, despite all his past skill.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#126Earlier quoted context omitted.
But your actions may have good intentions but still end up getting a bad reaction. Think codependency; you may have good intentions dealing with the other person's bad behaviour, but you're still encouraging the bad behaviour that way, and you may still resent your own actions despite your good intentions.
That's the idea though, if your intentions are sound but you're not getting the reactions you expect, then you need to re-evaluate how you're acting. The important part is not to beat yourself up about it - bad reactions are just a way for you to learn and correct your actions, fundamentally you are still the person you think you think you are.
They key thing here is that what you’re describing can be interpreted several ways.
One could be maladaptive (long term) and is the easy approach (or may be necessary to survive short term) - ‘oh, I need to be nicer or give more’, or ‘oh, I need to manipulate them or make them be okay with this’ which is the codependent approach.
The other is to step back, realize perhaps you’re already giving too much, and it’s time to leave (safely) or deal with more blowback at the moment to set a boundary even at the risk of real problems.
That takes courage and a wider view, exactly what is hard to do when in these situations though.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#127Earlier quoted context omitted.
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One of the first things that some reading on psychology gives you is the realisation that the “real self” is an illusion. You’re a bundle of competing drives and narratives. Even you don’t know why you do stuff most of the time, and you make up justifications after the fact. So if one way of looking at things makes you stay home and cry, while another leads to going out and making the world a better place, maybe trai…
Interestingly, Internal Family Systems therapy, which applies techniques from family systems therapy to the internal world, treats this as a "both-and." You do have a core Self, but one of the primary things it does is lead and direct and serve as the primary attachment figure for all the other parts of you, which are conceptualized as individual, separate characters with their own history, needs, desires, wounds, and fears.
I've found this to be an immensely helpful way to work through my own struggles and maladaptive behaviors. Trying to get myself to do something challenging is more like leading a group, some of whom are gung ho and others who are terrified because something about it reminds them of something that went very badly for them back when we were younger.
When it feels like some negative attitude is overriding the whole system, it's said that a part has "blended" with the Self, and the way forward is to help it unblend, to step back or aside so you, as the Self, can be in relationship with it, can listen to it and understand it (which goes a long way in its own right), but then also help meet the need or protect from the scary thing. The part never has access to all the resources you do as the Self, and the part is often a young child trying to take on something that should be overwhelming for a child.
I have no idea whatsoever if this is the case, but it wouldn't surprise me to find that what's actually happening inside the brain in these cases is an energy shift away from, for example, this over-excited anxious part of the brain to one with more control and executive function. It might be a way of training the mind to direct the activation of the brain, not unlike training for any other sort of skill.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#128Earlier quoted context omitted.
One of the first things that some reading on psychology gives you is the realisation that the “real self” is an illusion. You’re a bundle of competing drives and narratives. Even you don’t know why you do stuff most of the time, and you make up justifications after the fact. So if one way of looking at things makes you stay home and cry, while another leads to going out and making the world a better place, maybe trai…
Interestingly, Internal Family Systems therapy, which applies techniques from family systems therapy to the internal world, treats this as a "both-and." You do have a core Self, but one of the primary things it does is lead and direct and serve as the primary attachment figure for all the other parts of you, which are conceptualized as individual, separate characters with their own history, needs, desires, wounds, an…
Is there a commonly-recommended introductory text for IFS? I've always found it interesting, and it resonates with me, given my internal monologue(s).
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#129If you suffer from serious anxiety, I highly recommend you work on any health issues you have. Low blood sugar in particular is known to promote anxiety by increasing the amount of adrenaline in your system. I used to suffer a lot of anxiety. Getting physically healthier helped mitigate that enormously. Proviso: n=1, "anecdata" and the usual dismissals that random internet strangers desperately try to apply as if I s…
Ah yes the age old solution to anxiety, eating a shit ton of sugar.
Eating sugar is the absolute worst thing you can do if you have functional hypoglycemia.
Re: Anxious brains redirect emotion regulation
#130Earlier quoted context omitted.
Fear is a response to a perceived threat. For example, in a panic attack you fear dying, but you are in no more danger than anyone else. Anxiety is a kind of fuzzy term because it encompasses an overall pattern and cycle as well as the associated feelings. But a useful distinction is that anxiety is driven by avoidance of fear of some uncertainty, and exposure and acclimation to that fear (without avoidance) is what…
I think this splits hairs. Yes, fear means "perceived" threat. You could be acculturated to handling venomous snakes, but that doesn't male the average modern society dweller pathologically fearful of the same snakes. Anxiety is about the distorted anticipation of a threat. E.g., the snake handler has been doing this his whole life, but after seeing his brother accidentally step on one, get bitten, and die, he starts…
I was responding to a suggestion that fear occurs when the trigger is a “real” threat. But of course, the feeling is the same regardless of whether the hazard is real.
Also, since I’ve already been accused of hair-splitting, I might as well point out:
> can't avoid a panic attack
There’s no need to avoid a panic attack. In fact, trying to avoid a panic attack feeds the panic.