Kris and I got to know each other a bit over the years. I still remember our first meeting vividly. We met for dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Capitol Hill and spent the evening talking containers, Linux, Kubernetes, and Open Source. This is a tough loss. I will take small in the fact that it happened doing the thing she loved.
Kris Nóva has died
51–60 of 156 posts
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#52[flagged]
Sounds like your message implied that being autistic meant being an asshole, which categorically isn't true.
You can be accused of being an asshole, it doesn't mean it's because of your autism though - and going "autistic = asshole" is absolutely worthy of a ban.
Maybe don't be so quick to portray your own experiences onto autistic people as whole. If you wanted more specifics about what Kris meant by "don't be an asshole," you could've asked her (or any Hachyderm staffer).
You are not every autistic person, and not every autistic person is an asshole.
Portraying all autistic people as assholes - or implying that by virtue of being autistic, they can't not be an asshole - is incredibly ignorant and ableist.
While I sympathise with your struggle with intent or clarity, it does seem that you were an asshole, and your projected assumptions about autistic people because of your own experiences are harmful, not helpful.
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#53[flagged]
Would like to politely point out that this is not really the time or place to be posting your petty gripes with a person who just passed.
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#54RIP Kris.
She was one of my favourite people to follow on Twitter, and for understandable reasons she left there to start the mastodon instance but I didn't really use it much.
Really shocked to hear the news, she was very influential.
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#55Some context from someone close: https://hachyderm.io/@quintessence/110922746691596046 > The person I cherished more than any other, @nova , died unexpectedly late Wednesday in a climbing accident. > I have no words, only despair. The light in my soul is gone. > Joe Beda @jbeda and Nivenly are posting announcements. Others will also.
That's brutal because it was unexpected, and her loved ones could not say good bye.
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#56Her recent project - https://github.com/aurae-runtime/aurae
I hope this will continue somehow!
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#57Re: Kris Nóva has died
#58[flagged]
I'm sorry you experienced that.
I'm on the spectrum, and my son even more so. It's painful when my heart is in the right place, but neuro-typicals mistake my intent and refuse to believe me.
It's taken a lot of effort for me to adjust my communication style to avoid those situations. Happily it's mostly paid off, but I'm sad that my son will likely need to walk the same path somewhat.
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#59Truly stunned and saddened to learn of her death. By happy accident I discovered Hachyderm soon after I started really using Mastodon. I was very impressed with the space Kris created and the community she fostered there.
My heart breaks for those who knew her personally, and for her family and loved ones.
RIP Kris
Re: Kris Nóva has died
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
To steelman your point, I believe you're saying that an Autistic person may have difficulty not "being an asshole" due to lack of understanding or awareness of how you're interactions with others may be perceived. Therefore, while the rules try to be inclusive of autistic people, they are simultaneously exclusive by requiring a level of social awareness that may be impossible. Is that correct?
That is exactly my position, thank you for articulating it so eloquently.
You might want to update your original comment to clarify.
It seems to be getting downvoted by people who misunderstanding the comment.