41–50 of 156 posts
I was lucky enough to work with Kris Nova. I was gutted when I heard this and I'm still in shock. She was in the middle of doing the hachyderm thing and I was struggling with some other stuff and we ended up just happening to meet at a restaurant. "Fuck what people say and think, do you what you want, that's what I'm going to do." Here's a segment from one of her recent streams. This is how I will remember her: https…
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> I pointed out on twitter that the rules for her mastodon server were incompatible (IE; “Don’t be an asshole” and being welcoming to Autistic people) Calling all autistic people assholes is very worthy of being blocked and banned
Apologies, that's not what I intended to say, and not what I said to her either. It's unfortunately true that my behaviour (and the behaviour of many autistic people) can be easily characterised as being an asshole, and vague rules do not help us function. The condition is very much characterised by being unable to understand social cues. I really was trying only to be helpful and got quite hurt in the interaction.
You're right that social cues are complex and inconsistent.
But it's not helpful to the autistic community to suggest that they are unable to learn how not to be an asshole - in online, or irl communities. I know many that started with struggles, but learned how to handle it.
The trick was wanting to try. To decide that the empty annoying irritating things that allstics do are not malicious either. And that social interaction is like the rules of a very complex game.
It takes time, it takes effort, it takes humility.
I don't know you so I would never presume what your situation is. But I know of several people in my life who are on the spectrum that I got close to before I realized that they genuinely have no interest in self improvement, and they use their autistic diagnostic as a cover to see themselves as above petty human social squabbles, and that their assholishness is a mark of pride that they use to refuse to better themselves. I hope that's not where you are at.
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Is that correct?
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To steelman your point, I believe you're saying that an Autistic person may have difficulty not "being an asshole" due to lack of understanding or awareness of how you're interactions with others may be perceived. Therefore, while the rules try to be inclusive of autistic people, they are simultaneously exclusive by requiring a level of social awareness that may be impossible. Is that correct?
Earlier quoted context omitted.
To steelman your point, I believe you're saying that an Autistic person may have difficulty not "being an asshole" due to lack of understanding or awareness of how you're interactions with others may be perceived. Therefore, while the rules try to be inclusive of autistic people, they are simultaneously exclusive by requiring a level of social awareness that may be impossible. Is that correct?
That is exactly my position, thank you for articulating it so eloquently.
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> I pointed out on twitter that the rules for her mastodon server were incompatible (IE; “Don’t be an asshole” and being welcoming to Autistic people) Calling all autistic people assholes is very worthy of being blocked and banned
Regardless, this isn't the time or place for moderation chat; one of our own had suffered a tragically early demise, and I mourn. My condolences to everyone affected.