Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

news.gallup.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

91–100 of 330 posts

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#91

Post by kibwen »

jacquesm wrote: post #54
smohnot wrote: post #35

Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

In linguistics these are called "phatic expressions", and are far from unique to American English. Similar to idioms, phatic expressions don't have the literal meaning implied by their component words and instead serve a social purpose (in this case, serving to signify the beginning of a communication protocol). In British English the analogous phrase would be "you alright?"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=eGnH0KAXhCw

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#92

Post by datavirtue »

nemo44x wrote: post #73
hibikir wrote: post #49

Most of the year, I live in a midwestern suburb: 1/3rd of an acre lots as far as the eye can see. I go on a walk every day, but it's rare that I ever actually see a human being during said walk: Everyone is cooped up in their houses. In practice, in most of this suburban life, every bit of human interaction is planned. We drive to commerce, and there we are met by workers with constantly changing schedules, who have…

Yes, that's exactly right. A town needs to be designed in a way that encourages walking. Shops to walk to, trains for commuting, a certain density, etc. Walking create so many opportunities to see people regularly without planning and to become comfortable with each other and it grows from there. Multiply that by everyone else doing it and you do get a real sense of community. > Large parts of America have chosen for…

Designing cities for walking? Sounds like COMMUNISM!

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#93

Post by SirMaster »

xwdv wrote: post #86
jacquesm wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

The problem is in the United States, most people don’t really know how they are doing. I don’t know how I’m doing right now. If you asked me you wouldn’t get much of an answer. I might say I’m doing just fine to end the conversation. But what is there to really say? We are simply going about this world trying to survive, trying to not get shot, trying to make so much money so that we never befall the fate of those wh…

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke.

I'd hate to have your so pessimistic and negative view of the world though.

I don't think most people are viewing things this way (i.e. makes little sense to have one child). Plenty of people are having children and families and enjoying life.

If this isn't a joke, it seems you might need some help as there's no way that's a normal way to feel, at least in my experience.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#94

Post by SirMaster »

Invictus0 wrote: post #42
gspencley wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds blissful. I'm a fairly introverted, reclusive person. Much like your one neighbour. I keep to myself. I do know my neighbours. The couple on one side is delightful and the woman on the other side is a "Karen" who I prefer not associate with. She is an outdoor person and only "talks" to me when she has a problem with how I keep my yard. Ironically I would probably use my yard more (and thus tend to it more) if…

I think you'll find that community matters even more in rural towns. We are social animals. We can't do it all alone. That modern society has enabled us to be 'reclusive' is frankly a maladaptive outcome.

Are you sure we can't?

I'm pretty sure there are people who live alone like up in the mountains or out in the wilderness alone and do just fine.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#95

Post by xwdv »

SirMaster wrote: post #93
xwdv wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem is in the United States, most people don’t really know how they are doing. I don’t know how I’m doing right now. If you asked me you wouldn’t get much of an answer. I might say I’m doing just fine to end the conversation. But what is there to really say? We are simply going about this world trying to survive, trying to not get shot, trying to make so much money so that we never befall the fate of those wh…

I can't tell if this is serious or a joke. I'd hate to have your so pessimistic and negative view of the world though. I don't think most people are viewing things this way (i.e. makes little sense to have one child). Plenty of people are having children and families and enjoying life. If this isn't a joke, it seems you might need some help as there's no way that's a normal way to feel, at least in my experience.

HN is not a place for jokes.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#96

Post by AlbertCory »

xwdv wrote: post #86
jacquesm wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

The problem is in the United States, most people don’t really know how they are doing. I don’t know how I’m doing right now. If you asked me you wouldn’t get much of an answer. I might say I’m doing just fine to end the conversation. But what is there to really say? We are simply going about this world trying to survive, trying to not get shot, trying to make so much money so that we never befall the fate of those wh…

> The problem

there is no problem. It's a friendly greeting. Sorry your life is such a bummer.

Try saying, "Great, and you?" even if you don't mean it at all. You get back what you give out.

Edit: you can also say, "Shitty. It sucks to be me." That might even be honest, judging from the responses.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#97

Post by foobarian »

nemo44x wrote: post #73
hibikir wrote: post #49

Most of the year, I live in a midwestern suburb: 1/3rd of an acre lots as far as the eye can see. I go on a walk every day, but it's rare that I ever actually see a human being during said walk: Everyone is cooped up in their houses. In practice, in most of this suburban life, every bit of human interaction is planned. We drive to commerce, and there we are met by workers with constantly changing schedules, who have…

Yes, that's exactly right. A town needs to be designed in a way that encourages walking. Shops to walk to, trains for commuting, a certain density, etc. Walking create so many opportunities to see people regularly without planning and to become comfortable with each other and it grows from there. Multiply that by everyone else doing it and you do get a real sense of community. > Large parts of America have chosen for…

I think it's because immigrants who came over from Europe wanted castles, not hovels. And that's what they got.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#99

Post by pinko »

jacquesm wrote: post #89
pinko wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We've started hosting monthly "spaghetti and meatball nights" and invite almost everyone we know, including all the neighbors. We often get 30 people, but spaghetti and meatballs scale trivially so it's not hard to host. It's been tremendous for building community.

That's a cool idea!

I can't take credit. Two dear friends in L.A. started doing it years ago, with similar results, and it sounded so great we just copied it.

Except they make the meatballs from scratch, which I don't have time for. Decent bulk frozen meatballs + excellent Victoria jarred sauce from Costco to the rescue. My Italian wife tarts up the jarred sauce a bit with fresh aromatics and chunks of canned San Marzano tomatoes, and the end result is acceptable even to her exceptionally picky palette... Add a big stack of cheap, mismatched thrift-store china plates and silverware, and dinner for 30 takes us about an hour to prep + an hour to clean up after total.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#100

Post by AlbertCory »

Having a cute, friendly dog helps more than I can say. The dog remembers all the houses where our friends live (even if they've moved out, or we just saw them on the street so they can't possibly be home).

Yeah, there are unfriendly people. You just ignore them.

Post reply on HN