Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

news.gallup.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

81–90 of 330 posts

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#81

Post by tgv »

Cpoll wrote: post #4

> As part of the Gallup National Health and Well-Being Index, saying hello to more than 1 neighbor was shown to correlate with greater self-perception of well-being. So this wasn't a study. As far as I can tell, the results can just as easily be summarized as "people who report higher well-being are more likely to greet neighbours." This is probably just the article to blame, the quotes they pick use words like "corr…

> I find the five vs. six distinction rather interesting though. What's up with that?

There's no reasonable mechanism in which greeting people causes well-being. So asking why it caps out at 6 makes no sense, unless you implicitly want to call out their bullshit. It's just another vague correlation in a overinterpreted study of noisy data.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#82

Post by jacquesm »

midasuni wrote: post #67
jacquesm wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.

You may be, I may be not. That doesn’t lead to any conclusion than “some people like other people” I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions. Why would I park my car in a ditch?

> I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions.

That's funny. You are relying on thousands of other people every day, all day long. you just don't realize it. And not all of those are economic transactions there is plenty of goodwill involved. For instance, you rely on other people not to kill you when you are driving. Every time a stranger saves your bacon when you make a mistake, for instance. They don't have to! But if that's your worldview I don't think I'll be able to change it.

> Why would I park my car in a ditch?

I don't think anybody who ever parked their car in a ditch asked that question prior to it happening and afterwards they probably still didn't know. But in areas where there is snow it isn't rare at all to have vehicles do stuff that wasn't quite in the plan. My neighbor in Canada managed to do this with a tractor. Fortunately for him I had a bigger tractor and was able to pull his out of the ditch. And when it was my turn someone kindly brought over an excavator...

Society is a fabric, and no man is an island, not even you. You may have the illusion that you are but from the cradle to the grave you are 100% dependent on other people. Unless you live in the boonies and grow your own food and hunt, but if that were the case you wouldn't be writing here. Speaking of which: right now you rely on me to converse with you.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#83

Post by [deleted] »

jacquesm wrote: post #54
smohnot wrote: post #35

Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

[deleted]

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#84

Post by foobarian »

jacquesm wrote: post #54
smohnot wrote: post #35

Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

Isn't it just how speech works? There are examples of this probably in any culture. It would actually be odd to respond to the question as asked instead of the expected ACK; you'd get something like this classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhEYXcCB1Qw

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#85

Post by [deleted] »

Waterluvian wrote: post #80
jacquesm wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

That reminds me of Tig Notaro's incredible stand-up set when she found out she had cancer: "I have cancer, how are you?" "Is everyone having a good time? I have cancer." It's a masterpiece, in my opinion. Tig finds an intensely awkward situation with an audience that showed up for comedy, and just presses on it relentlessly. I really hope that when it's my turn, I can handle it like her. https://www.youtube.com/watch…

[deleted]

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#86

Post by xwdv »

jacquesm wrote: post #54
smohnot wrote: post #35

Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

The problem is in the United States, most people don’t really know how they are doing.

I don’t know how I’m doing right now. If you asked me you wouldn’t get much of an answer. I might say I’m doing just fine to end the conversation.

But what is there to really say? We are simply going about this world trying to survive, trying to not get shot, trying to make so much money so that we never befall the fate of those who have been damned to a life of poverty. And all the time, a war wages for the control of our minds, and our privacy and free agency threatened at every opportunity. Big corporations and lobbyists want to hold us down, keep us in offices toiling away so princely investors can prop up their commercial real estate empires and ensure the working rich never get a chance to break free of their chains and embrace their own financial independence, because that would mean they become uncontrollable, a threat to those in power whose primary tool of coercion is money. The climate is falling apart and it makes little sense to have even one child, assuming you could even find a partner unsullied by the toxic dating culture that has been brewed by impossible standards hoisted upon us by social medias. I had to step over two homeless bums overdosing on the sidewalk this morning, victims of a drug epidemic that goes quietly unnoticed, swept under the rug as an inconvenient truth. It is clear the best days of this nation are far behind it. The future is perilously dark and uncertain.

How am I really doing? Don’t know. I don’t try to think about it.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#88

Post by pinko »

jacquesm wrote: post #52

I make a point of bringing a bunch of flowers to the 10 or so houses near us at the beginning of every year. It is such a small thing to do but the effects have so far been well beyond what I would expect, immediately 'neighbor' becomes 'person I know a little bit' and from there the network around you will strengthen.

We've started hosting monthly "spaghetti and meatball nights" and invite almost everyone we know, including all the neighbors. We often get 30 people, but spaghetti and meatballs scale trivially so it's not hard to host. It's been tremendous for building community.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#89

Post by jacquesm »

pinko wrote: post #88
jacquesm wrote: post #52

I make a point of bringing a bunch of flowers to the 10 or so houses near us at the beginning of every year. It is such a small thing to do but the effects have so far been well beyond what I would expect, immediately 'neighbor' becomes 'person I know a little bit' and from there the network around you will strengthen.

We've started hosting monthly "spaghetti and meatball nights" and invite almost everyone we know, including all the neighbors. We often get 30 people, but spaghetti and meatballs scale trivially so it's not hard to host. It's been tremendous for building community.

That's a cool idea!

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#90

Post by coldpie »

darepublic wrote: post #77

I feel I have lost much of my ability to be a part of a community, due to the covid lockdown, full time work from home, and in general spending so much time on the internet.

There's plenty of jobs out there with an office available. Those of us who like going in to the office would be happy to have you :)
Post reply on HN