Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

My Public Apology

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

1–10 of 116 posts

My Public Apology

#1

Post by tdavis »

I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize for what I said in the Justin.tv thread. If you've decided to hate me forever, haven't read it, or simply aren't of the opinion that it's a big deal you may stop reading now.

Upon returning home, I read a message from Dan (my co-founder) stating that, in hindsight, he felt it was a bad thing to say and, quote, "I feel sick to my stomach." I knew then that no matter how serious I felt the infraction was, I had try my damnedest to clear it up.

First off, I'd like to state that I take full responsibility for what I wrote. Even if it's a single person, I do not want anyone to think negatively of Dan, TS, YC, or anyone else they may feel was tangentially involved.

I realize that I essentially made two mistakes here,

1. Instead of expressing my view of the article in question properly, I instead made an inappropriate joke.

2. I did this without considering how someone's views of me could affect their views of those connected to me.

To those of you who were offended, I am sorry. I have a history of complaining about poor comments/submissions to HN and I have since made one that I should be complaining about. Not only did it contribute no meaningful dialogue to the discussion, it was not in the spirit of this community. I consider HN one of the last bastions of social news discussion and it was quite wrong of me to tarnish that.

In a frail attempt to justify my initial comment, I posted a follow-up. A couple of members got the point I should have made in the first place, but at that point I still considered myself in the right and I once again made a horrendous ass of myself. I should have realized by that point that I was obviously not in the right and an apology was in order. I wish I could apologize for my bullheaded nature, too, but I don't think I'll be fixing that anytime soon.

I hope that you do not feel negatively about our company; one that I work on each day because I want to make it better for our users. And, if nothing else, please do not think poorly of Dan, YC, or anyone else. If you want to hate someone, please simply let it be me; I'm much better adjusted to it. Seriously. If you want me to never contribute here again just say the word, if that will be sufficient for you to absolve everyone else.

P.S. I post this as a submission because it's slightly less likely to be destroyed instantly.

Reference: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=371255

Re: My Public Apology

#2

Post by unalone »

I didn't see your comment until you posted this up. I agree: it was pretty immature and uncalled for.

Since I've been part of Hacker News, though, you've almost always been smart, courteous, and you almost always add to the conversation rather than detract from it. And it's easy to go wrong and say something stupid, and at least you're owning up to it.

I hope people don't hold a grudge against what you said, and I'm glad that you apologized for it - even if it wasn't excusable.

Re: My Public Apology

#5

Post by tsally »

Some might criticize you for not apologizing immediately; I for one think that a longer apology which shows reflection is far more valuable than a quick one.

Re: My Public Apology

#6

Post by palish »

It seems like this public apology will actually do you more harm than good. The best strategy is probably to say nothing (i.e. delete this) and wait for it to blow over. In a week, nobody will care.

The problem is that apologizing like this will draw more attention to the initial act. People are more likely to think "man, that really was horrible" than "well, that was horrible, but he apologized, so it's okay". Basically, the less exposure, the better.

Also, don't worry about it. I've found that when I (frequently) mess up, it's optimal to make a mental note of what I did wrong, adjust, and then not think about it again. It would be a bad use of time to worry about every little mistake.

Personally, I understood where you were coming from by making that joke. I don't care about political correctness. If I kill myself, I really hope that people joke and laugh about it. Being "all serious" about situations like that is what makes people cry for reform, legal action, etc, and behavior like that is almost always detrimental.

But most people's beliefs are aligned with the social norms (by definition), so it will tarnish your reputation to publicly say alarming things. So again, in this instance, it's probably best to not draw attention to it. (For evidence of this, check out unalone's comment in this thread -- he hadn't seen your initial comment until you posted this.)

Re: My Public Apology

#7

Post by petercooper »

Now I'm intrigued whether you'll regain the 83 karma points you lost in that thread with this post ;-) I think you might!

That aside, the egregious downvoting of your comments in that post showed a real lack of HN voting standards (that is, not going crazily low unless the comment is spam or totally irrelevant) by many users, no matter how misguided your comments.

Re: My Public Apology

#8

Post by randfish »

I've got a lot of empathy for you, Tom. We all say dumb stuff, and the web makes it very easy to screw up without thinking through. Kudos to you for the apology and the transparency. First time I'm checking out Ticketstumbler, BTW - looks interesting.

Re: My Public Apology

#9

Post by tsally »

junkbond wrote: post #3

You are doing this because you don't want it to impact your business. Shame on you!!

I for one don't think that a self serving apology is in line with his posting history.

A unsubstantiated comment, on the other hand, is in line with yours.

Re: My Public Apology

#10

Post by Ezra »

I think that it also exposes some of the crazy group think going on here, so maybe it wasn't all bad.

I mean, You're an idiot isn't supposed to be a +5 comment on this site.

And reasoned discourse like It doesn't really matter what the Justin.tv CEO said. He pasted some boiler plate because there's nothing more to be said; the deed had been done. What do you want? An apology for not finding the video? For not policing the Internet? Prosecution of anybody "egging him on?" Come on.

Someone broadcast their suicide. That fact doesn't make it any more tragic than any other suicide. It also doesn't mean anybody more than usual was responsible. There's really no story here which is why I chose to make a comment that didn't acknowledge there was. shouldn't be -12. At least not in my mind.

Not to mention all the equally pithy and/or distasteful rejoinders that were upvoted.

Post reply on HN