Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#81

Post by paulcole » Sun, Aug 13, 2023, 1:55 AM UTC

My parents were big believers in keeping technology out of the house. I often felt left out of stuff at school and with friends because of this.

If this is the approach you settle on, know that I think of my parents as nice people but otherwise don’t have much of a relationship with them (live on opposite coast, email contact only, etc.).

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#82

Post by warrenm » Mon, Aug 14, 2023, 3:10 PM UTC

Is "social isolation" inherently a bad thing?

Every family approaches family rules/dynamics differently

30 years ago, it was "who has the Game Boy" or "why can't I have a Walkman"

In 20 years, it will be something different yet again

We do not let our kids have real phones (they can play with old ones sometimes), and they can only use tablets or laptops for educational purposes (and an occasional (and time-limited) game)

Somehow all of humanity managed to survive for millennia without cell phones, smartphones, etc - your kids will, too :)

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#83

Post by soychai » Mon, Aug 14, 2023, 8:21 PM UTC

AndrewDucker wrote: post #78

theshrike79 wrote: post #72

Every kid is different, but IMO the most important meter of screen time is: can they walk away from the device without issues, or can you take it away without causing a meltdown? If so, everything is fine. How you get there depends on the kid a lot, some need hard screen time limits, some can moderate on their own. You need to normalise the device, it's not a treat for something else or a magical device that they rec…

Very much this. My kids (5, 3) have effectively unlimited access to their tablets. The moment that something interesting is going on the tablets get abandoned and they're off to ride bikes/swim/paint/build marble runs/etc. If I thought they couldn't stop whenever they wanted then I'd be putting controls in place.

Same here. Access to screens has opened a lot of valuable conversations for us with my 6 year old and understanding how to use tech appropriately. We recently had a talk about the difference between the iPad "making him feel better" and "distracting him from his feelings". He ended up opting to make cookies with me instead of watching YouTube after he'd gotten upset. He's also the first to point out to the other kids when something is "probably not real" because we've had so many conversations about how what we see on a screen isn't always real. He's definitely going to be the kid who ruins Santa for the others lol.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#84

Post by xmprt » Wed, Aug 23, 2023, 4:20 PM UTC

nobody9999 wrote: post #51

xmprt wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Avoid social media until at least age 16 I see the benefits of this in theory but in practice I worry that it will just cause more IRL bullying and isolation.

>I see the benefits of this in theory but in practice I worry that it will just cause more IRL bullying and isolation. I have to disagree. There was plenty of bullying and isolation for kids before social media, before the Internet and, I'm sure, even before the printing press. Kids can be very cruel to each other. This is (mostly) due to an understanding of the world that only includes a limited understanding of cau…

Before social media no one had interactions on social media because social media didn't exist. Now if you avoid social media you become the kid who sits alone at the lunch table and weren't allowed to go outside to play with kids in the park (the park and lunch table are analogs for social media). Are you telling me that kids socially isolated kids weren't bullied in the past?

Bullying has and will always happen but the form it takes has changed significantly.