Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

> Avoid social media until at least age 16

I think it depends which social media, and this needs to be audited. I was using forums/IRC from about 14(and these are pre-cursors to social media) and there was benefit to being able to discuss things that you might not have been able to IRL.

I think the issues come with image based social media where it's not about exchanging ideas/talking about things but with "living your best life" and curating your public image.

> predators use online spaces to find and groom children. > each your kids to never ever take an inappropriate photo of their bodies.

I think in this day and age it's essential to teach kids how to stay safe online (once they reach an age where the internet is an appropriate place to be). I see people talk all the time about the internet being a dangerous place and it needs to be restricted but not as much about how to manage this.

i remember many discussions about meeting someone form the internet and how to do it safely. i.e. Get a verification photo with today's date, meet in a high-traffic public space, tell a friend (or your parents) where you are going and who you expect to be meeting, ask for a check in at a specific time etc.

I do an unlimited screen time approach (this is a misnomer; most parents using this approach have some kind of limits). I limit content (especially content that seems to give a dopamine hit like unboxing videos and those annoying YouTube videos with constant cheering and sound effects) and have rules about no TV or devices while eating.

We do not use timers or set limits around how much time a day. My preschooler enjoys games, learns a lot through TV, has an exceptional vocabulary and a big imagination. They still enjoy spending time outside and playing with others. My hope is that they learn to self regulate early.

It absolutely will. They will not be able to participate in almost all modern social interactions. Like, yeah, they will be able to talk to their friends, but only when at school and at sleepovers.

And even then, being excluded from having normal access to a phone still isolates them from "normal" people. Everyone pulls out their phone and all the phoneless person can do is either sit there in jealous silence like a loser or try to get everyone to stop playing on their phones when they're around them (also like a loser).

Overall not an ideal situation.

I see a lot of similar guideline comments of no screen time etc. While I agree and follow the same general advice of no screen or only supervised by me in person, I do think I am a bit of an hypocrite. Ever since I remember I watched cartoons on any available time I had. I always enjoyed the computer as well. I started by playing games when I was 6 but that was the start of the career I have today. Meaning: I watched lots of tv and lots of computer and I turned out fine, so why make such a fuss about it? Also HN is quite a bubble in this matter. I literally do not know any parent as strict as I am with tv or electronic device. Most of my parent friends tell me I am going full taliban, as they too had screen time and are functioning individuals. All this to caution that HN might not be the most diverse place to get opinions nor they seem to be optimising for something that actually matters as evidence by much proof to the contrary.

We divide screen time into three categories:

Creative: Blender, Scratch, Blockbench, Krita.

Thinking Games: Minecraft, Kerbal, Stormworks.

Relaxing Games: most other stuff.

Then we have fixed times of day when each thing is allowed e.g. creative in the morning, followed by some thinking, then s long break, and relaxing in the late afternoon.

I put on videos about Blender etc sometimes and they put it into practice shockingly quickly when faced with limited alternatives.

They are 7 and 9 now and started this way from around 3yo. Hoping to use Discord to connect them with more creative kids next.