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Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#31

Post by esafak »

Mine is a few years older than yours. We just talk about it and set clear expectations. The only context I allow her to watch videos is when she's video chatting with her grandparents and they co-watch cartoons in another language so she can learn. So I hit a few birds with one stone.

On special occasions we watch movies on the projector.

Consistency is key; don't break the rules yourself. When my wife watches videos at the dinner table my child points out the offense and I happily encourage her to stick to the rules.

Kids let you know when they don't like something. In that case you can try to explain the rationale for the rule at their level. That works for me. Weaving some fun into the rule can make it easier to go down; e.g., making funny faces while you brush your teeth for one minute.

Sometimes they will try to surreptitiously break rules. And you can have a talk about that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#32

Post by jh_zab »

We have a 4 and a 6 year old. They are allowed a maximum of 30 minutes of screen time.

The 4 year old would get less if it weren’t for the 6 year old.

Our older one can decide between certain iOS games (like monument valley and some others) or watching a video. Grizzy and The Lemmings is something they enjoy a lot at the moment, the younger one like to watch Blaze and the older one likes to watch Checker Tobi. The latter is a fellow explaining all kinds of stuff in an age appropriate way, but 6+ would be even better.

We are planning to keep the 30min for the forseeable future. But there are exceptions like long travels, sick days, etc.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#33

Post by mpsprd »

kvee wrote: post #15

I suspect treating screen use as "treats" may not be ideal. I also have a 2 year old son and am very curious about this. It's tough, because I do know whatever I do won't be ideal, and we won't know till later when we learn more about how our brains work what we really should be doing with regards to screen use by kids. And, at the same time, things are accelerating fast, so there's a decent chance tech is totally di…

"treat" in the sense of it being a high sugar, high dopamine thing I want to avoid my children getting too used to. Not in the sense of giving something for good deeds.

Thinking about it, the concept of treat is more fitting for the parents than the kid.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#34

Post by xkcd-sucks »

idk my parents officially limited my screen time and did not buy internet service for the house, and I worked around it by being really stealthy about gaming / acquiring hardware at low cost / scamming free internet service

no kids yet but one trick could be figuring out what computer related chores you could make them do so they just don't want to spend more time at a screen

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#35

Post by bombcar »

csw-001 wrote: post #18

We have two kids who were raised essentially screen-free until 3, then on a 1hr a week diet until 6. We worried all the time about the transition to school, and the cultural norm of allowing a lot more screen time. This was an imagined dragon - this has not been an issue at all. My oldest just got a Switch, she plays less than 1/2hr a day - then she walks away without issue. She has friends with phones and iWatches (…

The first part you say is so spot on - fight the battles you have in front of you and ignore the potential battles everyone is yelling that are coming, those will arrive when the time comes.

And to the second, I remember reading old Wodehouse "school stories" where the teachers were complaining about the students wasting their time with worthless "book time" reading such useless works as David Copperfield. O tempora, o mores!

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#36

Post by comprev »

lnsru wrote: post #30
comprev wrote: post #24

My friend has raised her daughter (8yo) virtually "mobile screen free" so far. Whenever we meet up for a meal out I often look around and see other kids transfixed with phones, wheres as my friends kid is fully engaged with us adults. To be honest it's fun playing childhood games I remember with her if she needs "distracting" while other adults might need to discuss something.

Doing the same. No cellphone. Even in a plane during boring couple hour plane trip. Only computer games, much healthier for posture. Computer games only during holidays and no games during school days. Most of the kids in class have smart watches, so smartphone pressure is very low.

My friend is quite nostalgic about the 90s so her daughter's exposure to gaming is via a rather envious collection of PS1/2, N64 and SuperNES games!

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#37

Post by bombcar »

delecti wrote: post #14
nvr219 wrote: post #9

I mostly just let my kids post hacker news comments, so far nobody has been able to tell.

I'd certainly prefer that over the "I asked Chat GPT what it thought about this article" comments we get sometimes.

The original poster reminds me of the trend on twitter a few years ago where a person's opinion would be described as "my 3 year old daughter read this post and turned to me and said, 'why would anyone lie on the Internet?'"

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#38

Post by silisili »

I had a friend who basically gave their kid a tablet instead of a pacifier and, without trying to be mean, that kid was so weird. Immediately tantrum if the tablet was taken away, never made eye contact, etc. I can't say that was the whole reason, but it made me really scared when I had my own.

She didn't get any screen time at all until 7 or 8. Then we gave her 30 mins a day. If she was doing something interesting she could ask for more time and tell us how much and what for. But she usually just watched youtube or play pvz for 30 mins and done. No social media, but allowed a few messenger apps.

So far she doesn't seem to resent us or even care. Not sure if it's where we live, or the age, but most of the other parents seem similar.

She did have one friend who was always on TikTok and trying to make vids. Instead of begging us for TikTok, she recognized and pointed out to us how weird it was to always want to be doing that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#39

Post by xmprt »

cwoolfe wrote: post #22

I've thought a lot about this and am currently developing screenshot/AI-based monitoring for device usage for my kids under the age of 12. Aside from that, here's what our family does. We have three children under the age of seven. 1. Limit use to specific days, and specific time of day. This will keep them constantly asking you for it. 2. Choose high quality, age-appropriate shows like Daniel Tiger, Bluey. High qual…

> Avoid social media until at least age 16

I see the benefits of this in theory but in practice I worry that it will just cause more IRL bullying and isolation.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#40

Post by scarby2 »

mpsprd wrote: post #21
csw-001 wrote: post #18

We have two kids who were raised essentially screen-free until 3, then on a 1hr a week diet until 6. We worried all the time about the transition to school, and the cultural norm of allowing a lot more screen time. This was an imagined dragon - this has not been an issue at all. My oldest just got a Switch, she plays less than 1/2hr a day - then she walks away without issue. She has friends with phones and iWatches (…

That's really helpful, thank you. Focusing on the actual behavioural problems instead of "having x hours a week" does make sense. Maybe I focus on this more because younger me was denied video games for many years, until I bought my own consoles/pc and got to "eat the whole cake". I really don't want to reproduce that pattern.

younger me was never denied videogames/consoles/pc games.

I'm now an engineer with a bunch of friends and socially well adjusted. But then each child is unique and each situation is unique, most kids in my neighborhood weren't allowed outside after dark, in winter it was basically dark when we got home from school also i was an only child so didn't have any siblings to keep me entertained, that leaves a lot of time for Homework, TV, Video Games, Reading etc.

Also it rained a lot so you were stuck inside a lot. In fact when the weather was good you were desperate to get out of the house because you'd be stuck inside so often.

If i were parenting today i might have to follow a different approach to my parents but only because i might want to curate the games my kids would play personally i actually think the right video game is just as if not more valuable than books. Learning mechanics, developing strategies, reacting to changing and unfavorable circumstances, teamwork. are great life skills. I do think i learned a fair bit playing Starcraft and Counter Strike.

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