We got Gabb watches for the younger kids, and probably will go with Gabb phone when they get older.
Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
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Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#12Our oldest got my old iPhone when she qualified for gymnasium at the age of 9.5.
I have configured a quite strict regime via the iOS child control features (max 30 mins per day, no purchases, blocked tiktok.com).
So far it works quite well, it’s enough to keep her connected to her mates, but restricted such that often she isn’t even using it even if she could.
Whenever she can get screentime on another device she is will never stop until external force is applied.
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#13Get him a laptop early. Teach him how to make things. Separate “creative time” from “consumption time”. Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. The TP-Link Deco series is what I use and it does the job. Avoid a real smartphone for as long as possible. 9th grade would be ideal. Give other ways to communicate - smart watcj, dumb phone, Discord on laptop. This is about manners, litera…
This is a really good idea, thank you! I find my least productive time with a device is on a phone. If I'm on a laptop, besides working, I'm writing or coding or doing administrative tasks. Rarely am I just wasting time time there.
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#14I mostly just let my kids post hacker news comments, so far nobody has been able to tell.
I'd certainly prefer that over the "I asked Chat GPT what it thought about this article" comments we get sometimes.
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#15I suspect treating screen use as "treats" may not be ideal.
I also have a 2 year old son and am very curious about this.
It's tough, because I do know whatever I do won't be ideal, and we won't know till later when we learn more about how our brains work what we really should be doing with regards to screen use by kids.
And, at the same time, things are accelerating fast, so there's a decent chance tech is totally different by the time our children are in high school, or even elementary school.
I think that in an ideal world, we'd all use technology all the time and it'd be a natural extension of ourselves letting us be fuller versions of ourselves and more present with each other. It's a shame we're not in that world yet, and I'm hopeful that as we get richer humanity starts designing tech to be more agency increasing with this target in mind rather than losing agency to shorter term incentives.
With our 2 year old, I think the highest impact thing we do is try to strict about being present with him and not on our phones. I suspect this might be much more important than whatever rules are established for a child's own use of technology.
Reminds me of the pretty compelling poem "Children Learn What They Live": https://www.freepoemsonline.net/poems-htm/children1.htm
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#16Trust in the eternal refrain “the kids are alright”.
Mostly second on this. I've heard the phrase "if you're worried about it and trying to do the right thing, then your kids will be fine" and that has helped ... assuming I can manage my anxiety properly!
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#17I won't opine on how to manage usage of of tech as the comments already handle that well.
One thing I'd like to respectfully point out to our community, which I personally think is going to snowball into a full blown health crisis, is children's posture while using tech. I live in NYC and everywhere I go I'm seeing kids and adults craning their necks and backs at 45-60 degree angles. My mother was a seamstress for 30+ years and the consequences are horrible. Keep an eye on it
As for my strategies to manage this, I nag frequently (and my kids know the consequences are losing access). For the few times I do give them screen time on the go, I force them to watch with the phone on the table and either leaning on sometime or in this little phone holder that forces them to sit upright to see the screen.
Here is a random link that quantifies the impact on weight on neck at different angles: https://healthmatters.nyp.org/how-to-prevent-tech-neck/
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#18We have two kids who were raised essentially screen-free until 3, then on a 1hr a week diet until 6. We worried all the time about the transition to school, and the cultural norm of allowing a lot more screen time. This was an imagined dragon - this has not been an issue at all. My oldest just got a Switch, she plays less than 1/2hr a day - then she walks away without issue. She has friends with phones and iWatches (she has neither) and her envy level is zero.
My point here is not that we’ve done anything right, or wrong, or to emulate. Instead, I say this point out the I’ve had to learn to worry about, and address, the real issues - when they become real. There are not enough hours in the day to worry about all theoretical mistakes I’m making as a a parent. I choose to focus on the actual, observable, issues we are having.
For what it’s worth - many of our neighbors have kids that play all the time on the Switch, have phones, and watch TV every car ride anywhere, and those kids are LOVELY. They aren’t screen demons - and they aren’t behind in math, reading, eating vegetables… I think it could be it doesn’t really matter as much as it gets focused on.
At any rate it matters a whole lot less than loving them, and figuring out what works for YOU and for THEM - and that’s something it took me way too long to learn.
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#19I think these days getting kids involved in non-tech based activity groups could help a child have a more balanced relationship with technology.
There are also options like homeschooling, but that is obviously a massive commitment and different life journey for a family to take.
Then ofc there are rules and enforcement mechanisms. Rules can really be whatever you like. Enforcement can happen at your router, DNS or maybe firewall. If you like to configure those sorts of things you could block access to certain services or websites based on time of day, or target specific devices in you network. When they are not home you won't be able to do this so easily. There is also risks of coming off too adversarial and damaging your relationship with your child.
edit: typo
Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?
#20For my family it’s just about finding a balance. I have a 4 and 6 year old. During the school year there’s no TV during the weekdays. When they wake up on the weekend they can watch TV in the morning until the house is up and ready to start the day. This is also good for my wife and I because we can sleep past 6am.
Our family is usually pretty busy with sports, parties, and other activities on the weekend so there are fewer chances for screen time throughout the day. But we don’t mind an hour here or there between activities or at the end of the day.
Both my kids have Kindle Fires. It gets used on airplanes, drives longer than 4 hours, or if they can’t agree on something to watch or want to play a game instead of using the family TV. We don’t allow the use of screens at restaurants or in the car.
During the summer they go to camp from 8:30am-4:30pm. They usually come home and watch TV for 1-2 hours and relax from a day of being outside and running around.
Sick days are TV days.
I’d love for them to maybe have a little less screen time. That’s also coming from someone who’s watched almost zero TV in the last 6 months but spends 12+ hrs a day on a computer. But I feel like we’ve found a decent enough balance. My kids do there school work and are active and have other interests. They don’t put up a fight when we tell them to turn the screen off.