I wonder if this doesn't have a lot to do with cars. In surrendering utterly to the preeminence of streets, we have essentially taken our open, free world and overlain it with an immense grid of electric fences -- thick lines all over the map that, if children wander across them, might easily lead to their deaths. So "hold hands everywhere" and "don't let your children run free outside" become the norms. The only saf…
No. It's paranoia. Cars have been around for a long time.
Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
271–280 of 413 posts
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#272This may be obvious or well-discussed but I had an epiphany some years back when my dad, regarding my kids, said (paraphrasing), "they're not playing. 'Play' is a misleading term. They're testing the world. They're learning how things work. How gravity works. How friction holds lego together. How actions cause reactions. How friends and strangers behave when you do things. How to use language with make believe. How t…
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#273Earlier quoted context omitted.
That works if someone isn’t frantically trying to get from point A to point B, or so overwhelmed they are trying to find some time to stop and think. That’s the challenge for most Suburban parents around here anyway.
Everyone is busy at times, but if you are always frantically trying to get from A to B or overwhelmed, that's probably an issue in its own right in need of addressing.
If not that well off, it’s usually worse.
And near as I can tell, that barely keeps their head above water, if that.
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#274We have really made it a point to have our kid play freely as much as possible and minimize scheduled activities (piano lessons etc.) the problem is that most of his friends are in a million classes so even if he’s free, they often aren’t. That’s been the big challenge. So then there are these magical days where they all don’t have any activities and those invariably happen to be the days ALL kids look forward to. Cu…
I came here to post exactly this. It is appalling that we live in a neighborhood where everyone can walk, there are plenty of kids that my son knows within a mile, he's 14 and more than old enough to be out on his own, but every one of his friends is in a math class, or French school, or out of town on vacation, constantly. He goes to the park and there is no one there. So he stays home and watches anime. The only wa…
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#275> There is also evidence that teens who have part-time jobs are happier than those who don’t, because of the sense of independence and confidence they gain from the job. Genuinely wondering where they got any data for that, given that child labour is generally illegal these days and all. What kind of part time jobs for children that pay actual money exist in the present? I suppose you've got the rare ones like acting…
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#276Earlier quoted context omitted.
The kids at the opposite far end of the spectrum are pretty disadvantaged too when they get a job that doesn't have everything planned out for them and where their parents (or their parents ability to pay tuition) have no sway. Especially when their reactions to things not being structured to favor them at every step leads to them having a negative reputation... Those who thrive in both good and bad circumstances can…
That’s like pointing out how money corrupts or makes you not appreciate wealth truly. That may be true in some cases, but it’s still much better to be rich than poor
And that's an especially dangerous assumption if you buy the original article here's claim that not doing that is a big problem for mental health.
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#277> Moreover, the 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System survey revealed that during the previous year 18.8% of US high school students seriously considered attempting suicide, 15.7% made a suicide plan, 8.9% attempted suicide one or more times, and 2.5% made a suicide attempt requiring medical treatment. Wait a minute, what? Nearly 1 in 10 attempted suicide? So in a middle school of say 400 kids a kid would know…
Maybe there's something like a "mental health crisis" that could be why it's so high.... /s
https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2023/07/19/teen-su...
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/childrens-risk-of...
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#278Earlier quoted context omitted.
After bedtime, I would grab a book, creep into the bathroom, and hop into the dry bathtub to read. I preferred this to a flashlight under the covers. Mom would find me, send me back to bed, and shame me for reading. Then I was further shamed and humiliated when I was fitted for spectacles in third grade. Of course my parents blamed myopia on reading books in poor lighting. That bathroom was actually the site of innum…
Question is, what did you read? I don't think these kids going to night school are there to read popular youth literature.
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#279Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've tried preaching philosophy to my toddler but he just doesn't seem to get it for some reason :) Some toys do get "broken" (but easily fixed so they reappear in a week or more), but out of sight means out of mind! He won't even remember it exists as soon as he gets thirsty and wants his drink instead, so effectively there are already zero consequences outside of a minute of anguish. I, on the other hand, do like t…
I never understand this view, but admittedly I don't have children. I have a cat though. She's the first pet I've ever had in my life. I got lots of warnings from lots of people. Don't let her out or she'll cry all the time to go out. Keep her away from the door or she'll run out and you won't see her again. It sounded very difficult. However I didn't follow this advice and let my cat out in my backyard. And I found…
A story of our young kid.
We had twins when she was 3. And she really liked them. Until they started moving and getting into her stuff. Then she really hated them. So much so that she would go out of her way to hurt them. When going to the bathroom, she would go the long way so she could step on their fingers. When we weren't looking, she would push them over. When one of them knocked over one of her toys, she picked him up and bodyslammed him.
It made life a living hell. We tried everything we could think of. Time outs, losing stuff, whatever. Right afterwards, 10 minutes later, she would be on them again.
Then one day, about 3 months after it started, it just stopped. Like magic. No clue why.
Re: Play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health crisis
#280Earlier quoted context omitted.
No. It's paranoia. Cars have been around for a long time.
I would say that American car-centric development and distrust of others go hand in hand. The more people wall themselves away into their castles in the suburbs, the less they feel part of a community, and the more they distrust others.
I think a big part of this is just our risk tolerances change. We naturally want to protect kids, and looking historically we've taken safety to relative extremes compare to 20 years ago (and similarly before then). Its natural to want more security, and its obvious how it helps. But its not as obvious what we've given up in return.
Interestingly, I moved to Portland recently, and live mid way between suburbs and downtown; its fairly dense but mostly SFH or townhomes in my neighborhood, many businesses, some homeless. Kids of all ages walk to school and are... just everywhere, around here. Its quite normal to see people walking with their kids too. Its just got a really great mix of urban density -- you can walk to stores, bars, school. There's a few high traffic streets, but they are not large and the speed limit is 20mph. I think what this neighborhood has taught me is, while our risk tolerances are lower than ever, its still a bit of a design and culture choice to not let kids walk around. Its nice to see here, in Portland of all places, there's a bit of a counter trend going on. I hope its what the future looks like in other places (here and elsewhere) too.