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Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

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Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#51

Post by ganbatekudasai »

willcipriano wrote: post #33
zadler wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Say a bit more about the headspace

My wife has it, mainly she is unable to conceptualize that she is wrong and thus never learns from experience. For example she started a lawsuit against the neighbors, that she funnels tens of thousands of dollars toward because she thought the property line was further into their yard than it actually is. She recently told me we own the entire town and made some nonsensical statements to justify that belief. I'm goi…

Honestly, that sounds a lot different from BPD, like a separate disorder altogether.

Sorry, I don't mean to belittle what you go through, it sounds terrible. But I have to "defend" people with BPD against it, because I have people close to me with that affliction. What you describe sounds more like a very narcissistic person instead.

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#52

Post by mahesh_rm »

cameronh90 wrote: post #38
mahesh_rm wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife had it. Not anymore. Still BPD, but not anymore wife.

My girlfriend had it. Not any more. Suicide...

I am sorry for your loss. There's a million things to say and none of them would sound right. That could have been my way out too in many occasions, but it wasn't. Heal. There's a lot of us in this process. Feel free to hit me up if things get out of hand.

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#54

Post by ganbatekudasai »

DougN7 wrote: post #14
zadler wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Say a bit more about the headspace

I have a close friend whose daughter has it. From what I understand she can’t weigh consequences out beyond about 2 minutes. Current emotional discomfort (like being slightly bored) is over the top painful. She can’t deal with “no” sometimes, like she goes so crazy the police have to be called sometimes. I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed. Sitting would hurt,…

> I read that it’s kind of like if you had no skin and thus all your nerve endings were exposed.

That seems to be exactly right. However, it also seems that, with some intelligence and introspection, people can totally learn how to deal with that and live a normal life.

It's hard for me to tell whether the symptoms actually subside, or whether they are just perfectly capable of dealing with them. From what I've been told, a big part of BPD is "internal emotional feedback loops" that become hard to break out of, but it's apparently possible to recognize them early and not build up.

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#55

Post by type0 »

golemotron wrote: post #47
smt88 wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My ex is a geneticist and used to talk about how evolution rewards rape in many situations, including early homo sapiens. My point is: it doesn't matter whether narcissism or BPD are useful mating strategies. It's slightly interesting in an anthropological sense, but it has no bearing on whether they should be considered disorders and treated as best we can.

It can inform treatment options. NPD, unlike trauma initiated disorders, is not something that changes over one's life.

It is a disorder if it brings chaos into normal life. Narcissism isn't the same as NPD

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#56

Post by [deleted] »

mahesh_rm wrote: post #42
willcipriano wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife has it, mainly she is unable to conceptualize that she is wrong and thus never learns from experience. For example she started a lawsuit against the neighbors, that she funnels tens of thousands of dollars toward because she thought the property line was further into their yard than it actually is. She recently told me we own the entire town and made some nonsensical statements to justify that belief. I'm goi…

If you ever feel hopeless and want to catch up in a call to let it out, let me know. Been there, and was luckily able to get out because of no kids. The idea of being stuck with that person would have likely killed me, without a social net that could help in the most difficult moments.

[deleted]

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#57

Post by willcipriano »

ganbatekudasai wrote: post #51
willcipriano wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife has it, mainly she is unable to conceptualize that she is wrong and thus never learns from experience. For example she started a lawsuit against the neighbors, that she funnels tens of thousands of dollars toward because she thought the property line was further into their yard than it actually is. She recently told me we own the entire town and made some nonsensical statements to justify that belief. I'm goi…

Honestly, that sounds a lot different from BPD, like a separate disorder altogether. Sorry, I don't mean to belittle what you go through, it sounds terrible. But I have to "defend" people with BPD against it, because I have people close to me with that affliction. What you describe sounds more like a very narcissistic person instead.

Its quiet type BPD to be specific: https://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-di...

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#58

Post by drewcoo »

smt88 wrote: post #43
atleastoptimal wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The issue with personality disorders is whether something is a positive or negative is a subjective evaluation. Homosexuality was once considered a personality disorder. We consider narcissism a personality disorder, but we also reward narcissistic tendencies when one's extreme ego matches reality. Is there a single "correct" personality that we should all strive towards?

> The issue with personality disorders is whether something is a positive or negative is a subjective evaluation. Homosexuality was once considered a personality disorder. It is (and was) easy to see that homosexuality is not a personality disorder because it doesn't harm anyone. On the other hand, narcissism and BPD are harmful to both the person exhibiting the associated behaviors and to the people around them. Nar…

> It is (and was) easy to see that homosexuality is not a personality disorder because it doesn't harm anyone.

That kind of rewriting of history ignores the torture people like Alan Turing went through for being found out. It dishonors them by writing them out of the past.

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#59

Post by ganbatekudasai »

willcipriano wrote: post #57
ganbatekudasai wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Honestly, that sounds a lot different from BPD, like a separate disorder altogether. Sorry, I don't mean to belittle what you go through, it sounds terrible. But I have to "defend" people with BPD against it, because I have people close to me with that affliction. What you describe sounds more like a very narcissistic person instead.

Its quiet type BPD to be specific: https://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-di...

I am familiar with the symptoms. I still think you deal with an actual narcissist, not with someone with BPD. The symptoms may have some overlap, but it's different.

For example, where in that article do you see that people with BPD can be so straight up delusional that they think they "own the town"? Notice that the words "lie" or "lying" do not even appear in the article.

In my experience, presenting a BPD-afflicted person with definitive truth is actually calming them down, because it disperses the worries and fears they have about things that could be (however unlikely).

Again, I don't mean to belittle your experience. What you're going through sucks, regardless of what disorder your wife has.

Re: Borderline personality disorder: a spurious condition?

#60

Post by GloomyBoots »

meepmorp wrote: post #34
pessimizer wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i.e. showing up to work, doing well at school, dressing properly, keeping the correct company, filial piety...

> filial piety Interesting addition, and not one that a lot of people who had shitty childhoods would say is appropriate to include.

Some of us who had shitty childhoods would agree that filial piety and nurturing caregivers are good things even though we had neither.
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