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Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

vipshek.com

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Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#131

Post by em-bee »

jmyeet wrote: post #29

I see a fundamental misunderstanding, even among so-called profesionals, about what introvert vs extrovert actually means. I am an introvert but struggled with the traditional definitions. This article builds on and complicates these incorrect foundations. Here's the simplest explanation that I have found: social interactions cost introverts energy. Extroverts gain energy from social interactions. When I heard this,…

what you are describing looks like the classical definition of introverts vs extroverts to. so where is the difference or the misunderstanding?

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#132

Post by makeitdouble »

vipshek wrote: post #43
akhayam wrote: post #9

Introvert and extrovert is the most widely misunderstood thing I have seen at work and in personal life. This article also doesn’t do justice to the nuance that introverts find interactions with other “draining” … but it’s not necessary that they suck at it. I feel this way: having led teams of hundreds of people, I know I can have deep, meaningful and long conversations… but I don’t find them a source of joy. I enco…

I did briefly discuss this idea of interactions "draining energy" in the post here: https://www.vipshek.com/blog/interaction#balance-not-batteri... . I understand that the idea of draining vs. charging works for some people, but I always found this concept even more baffling. For me, when I've been in solitude for a while, I feel a restless desire to go out and interact with people. When I'm in that lonely state, I f…

I feel you batteries analogy with an optimal charge level perfectly encapsulates it.

For a battery, getting "drained" is an expected change, perhaps "discharge" would be a more neutral way to put it, but IMO it just comes down to personal imagery.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#133

Post by throwaway4837 »

rqtwteye wrote: post #26

I never understand why people (especially in the US) have a desire to split everything into two opposing sides. Liberal/conservative, introvert/extrovert and many others. I think it's pretty obvious that most (all?) people are on a spectrum of many dimensions and can't be categorized that easily. These labels can give useful hints but there is way more detail to look at.

Creating dichotomies is central to mathematics and science. Humans tend to think of things as being either "in" or "out", and apply this distinguishing ability to every facet of life. It is not surprising that pretty much everyone is creating little dichotomies in their head which shapes their worldview. That's kind of what models do too, they draw lines in data and categorize things. It's easier to understand things if you can decompose them into orthogonal vectors in your mind.

I agree that it can be dangerous if you create a false dichotomy, because that can lead to a misunderstanding of how something works.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#135

Post by jmye »

bmitc wrote: post #119
akhayam wrote: post #9

Introvert and extrovert is the most widely misunderstood thing I have seen at work and in personal life. This article also doesn’t do justice to the nuance that introverts find interactions with other “draining” … but it’s not necessary that they suck at it. I feel this way: having led teams of hundreds of people, I know I can have deep, meaningful and long conversations… but I don’t find them a source of joy. I enco…

> having led teams of hundreds of people, I know I can have deep, meaningful and long conversations… but I don’t find them a source of joy Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert? I am deeply introverted, but deep conversations are what I yearn for, but I find most people are not willing to engage in such, especially extroverts. It was my understanding that most introverts actually feel deeply, which is pr…

Seems like this is ascribing an awful lot of value judgement on personality type. I’ve had very deep conversations with people across the spectrum, and met a lot of introverts who couldn’t, or didn’t want to, talk at more than surface level.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#136

Post by romusha »

iainmerrick wrote: post #103
karaterobot wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I never understand why people (especially in the US) have a desire to split everything into two opposing sides For the record, I don't think this has anything to do with the U.S., false dichotomies are a more or less equally common human shorthand anywhere and anywhen that I've visited, or studied at all. I've assumed it's because people don't have time or energy to consider all the nuances of everything all the ti…

There are two types of people -- those who like to split everything into two categories, and those who believe everything exists on a continuous spectrum.

You split

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#138

Post by thomasfromcdnjs »

I'm not convinced that ones identity can be described as an introvert or extrovert. Regardless of what I read or what people I trust tell me.

I think you can _feel_ "introverted" or "extroverted" sometimes.

Not a topic that overly bother me, I personally find it hilarious watching people describe themselves with so much confidence. As if they know how the human mind works, and are so capable at it they can perform some meta-analysis looking from outside in.

(If you haven't figured I also think Meyers, Big Five etc etc is all garbage too, "I'm cynical" )

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#139

Post by archduck »

pizza wrote: post #118
vipshek wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I did briefly discuss this idea of interactions "draining energy" in the post here: https://www.vipshek.com/blog/interaction#balance-not-batteri... . I understand that the idea of draining vs. charging works for some people, but I always found this concept even more baffling. For me, when I've been in solitude for a while, I feel a restless desire to go out and interact with people. When I'm in that lonely state, I f…

Two aspects I can think of that contribute to a sense of ‘draining’: - how much one ‘masks’ one’s feelings - how much attention/energy one spends deeply engaging with the other thoughtfully Eg two very different examples of draining conversations: 1. you’re at a party hosted by someone you care about and being a fun guest, but more for the host’s sake because you care about them and want to show up for them and help…

This calls to mind Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of _flow_. There’s too much of it to go into here, but this page illustrates how it happens and what it's like: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

I posit that any activity which falls short of flow state will also cause energy drainage in kind. What distinguishes introverts and extraverts in a given social interaction, then, has to do with the degree to which they consider themselves challenged and how skillfully they think they are performing. High challenge + high ability = flow, which is an energizing state where you lose track of time. Mess with those parameters a bit and you get boredom and anxiety (along with shades of other things), which are draining states different in kind.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#140

Post by TrispusAttucks »

thomasfromcdnjs wrote: post #138

I'm not convinced that ones identity can be described as an introvert or extrovert. Regardless of what I read or what people I trust tell me. I think you can _feel_ "introverted" or "extroverted" sometimes. Not a topic that overly bother me, I personally find it hilarious watching people describe themselves with so much confidence. As if they know how the human mind works, and are so capable at it they can perform so…

That's pretty much the premise of the article.
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