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Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

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Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#151

Post by barrenko »

akprasad wrote: post #119
SanderNL wrote: post #117

I found it interesting to learn about the etymology of the word "character". It comes to us from Latin which took it from the Greek (χᾰρᾰκτήρ) which comes from kharasso (χαράσσω) - I scratch or engrave . Our character can be thought of as the result of a long process of engraving or scratching. I tend to see it as a solid metal shield full of scratches from long battles. The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or v…

For a similar idea from another culture, see the ancient definitions of karma : Now as a man is like this or like that, according as he acts and according as he behaves, so will he be; a man of good acts will become good, a man of bad acts, bad; he becomes pure by pure deeds, bad by bad deeds; And here they say that a person consists of desires, and as is his desire, so is his will; and as is his will, so is his deed…

Another way to think about this and the parent comment is that karma is instant.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#152

Post by croes »

bsuvc wrote: post #95

Pertaining to habits, this stuck with me from James Clear's Atomic Habits [1]: > Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your identity. This is why habits are crucial. [1] https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

The problem is you don't know the result of your actions.

Many bad things happened because of good intentions and vice versa

I remember a story about a neo nazi who travelled to Africa to buy weapons and felt in live with a black woman.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#153

Post by SeanAnderson »

akprasad wrote: post #119
SanderNL wrote: post #117

I found it interesting to learn about the etymology of the word "character". It comes to us from Latin which took it from the Greek (χᾰρᾰκτήρ) which comes from kharasso (χαράσσω) - I scratch or engrave . Our character can be thought of as the result of a long process of engraving or scratching. I tend to see it as a solid metal shield full of scratches from long battles. The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or v…

For a similar idea from another culture, see the ancient definitions of karma : Now as a man is like this or like that, according as he acts and according as he behaves, so will he be; a man of good acts will become good, a man of bad acts, bad; he becomes pure by pure deeds, bad by bad deeds; And here they say that a person consists of desires, and as is his desire, so is his will; and as is his will, so is his deed…

Reminds me of, "Luck is just when preparation meets opportunity."

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#154

Post by crdrost »

vjk800 wrote: post #66
twodave wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s interesting to me to see this comment, because “today” is very much the focus in recovery circles. If you’ve ever been to AA or any of the other 12-step programs you’ve probably heard someone say something akin to “one day at a time”. In general, though, it is important to note that part of what makes an addiction an addiction is the lack of willpower to overcome it. So if you tell an addict “it is a choice” the…

There's the saying that "we are free to do what we want, but not to want what we want". I'd guess that at the moment of a lapse, the drug/alcohol is all an addict wants. Changing that want into something else is the hard part and also depends strongly on the environment.

It's a good saying, but something leaving in exposition. Each addict is different, but frequently the drug/alcohol is not what the addict wants.

Think of the addict in relapse more as saying “yeahhhh gonna let loose and party hard and have a lot of fun and go wild and crazy.” The overindulgence is the point, the feeling of freedom and abandon.

I liked the way Craig Ferguson put it in American on Purpose, he said that if he could drink alcohol “socially” the limited way other people do, it wouldn't be interesting to him in the first place.

This is also why people get addicted to casinos, it's a similar “woooo, party!!” desire. People who are addicted to junk food also have this, they call it a “cheat day,” the idea is not that I slipped myself an extra Oreo, but that I decided to slip myself the extra Oreo and then declared it a cheat day and then ate puddings and cakes and pizza and guzzled soft drinks and “wooo, party day, calories don't count”...

One typically doesn't “change that want,” one buries it. It still keeps coming up as an “I am overwhelmed with the boring tedium of adulthood can't I go back to being a reckless kid and partying all night?” and you say “Look, having fun is why we have playing that guitar in the backyard or lifting or jamming out to music or planning a week off in Colorado, we have to do the less intense adulty fun things that build us up now, because we know what happens when we do the reckless childish fun things that tear down (and have torn us down, over and over and over and over again)... and we have to grow up so that we don't lose everything and die alone in a ditch.” So you bury the want, not allowed to want “woooo party time!!”, because you have hit rock bottom several times now and you know that you don't have an ability to have a healthy relationship with that internal party-fiend, because he will react to the stress of money being tight by wanting to gamble more, will react to the weight gain by having more cheat days, will react to the hangover by looking for a cider in the fridge. Can't give him a foothold in your life again.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#155

Post by ry4nolson »

e1g wrote: post #126
SanderNL wrote: post #117

I found it interesting to learn about the etymology of the word "character". It comes to us from Latin which took it from the Greek (χᾰρᾰκτήρ) which comes from kharasso (χαράσσω) - I scratch or engrave . Our character can be thought of as the result of a long process of engraving or scratching. I tend to see it as a solid metal shield full of scratches from long battles. The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or v…

Webster [1] traces the source of the word “character” to theater where it was used as an emblem of the reputation of someone or a group of people, similar to how you would recognize the brand name engraved into a thing. The interpretation that character is a result of “engraving” through repeated behavior (at the individual level) is fascinating, but doesn’t seems as supported from original usage for centuries. [1] h…

this could be a nuance/difference of "a character" of a story and a real person's "character"

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#156

Post by FreakLegion »

SanderNL wrote: post #117

I found it interesting to learn about the etymology of the word "character". It comes to us from Latin which took it from the Greek (χᾰρᾰκτήρ) which comes from kharasso (χαράσσω) - I scratch or engrave . Our character can be thought of as the result of a long process of engraving or scratching. I tend to see it as a solid metal shield full of scratches from long battles. The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or v…

A surprising number of words trace back to some form or other having to do with carving, cutting, boring into. See also analuein and krinein. It makes for some fantastic one-liners, like Foucault's C'est que le savoir n'est pas fait pour comprendre, il est fait pour trancher: Knowledge isn't made for understanding, it's made for cutting.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#157

Post by cbsmith »

SanderNL wrote: post #117

I found it interesting to learn about the etymology of the word "character". It comes to us from Latin which took it from the Greek (χᾰρᾰκτήρ) which comes from kharasso (χαράσσω) - I scratch or engrave . Our character can be thought of as the result of a long process of engraving or scratching. I tend to see it as a solid metal shield full of scratches from long battles. The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or v…

> The resulting grooves tend towards virtue or vice.

Virtue & vice are kind of an arbitrary way to device up those "grooves", and what constitutes virtue or vice varies by context/perspective.

I would argue there are a LOT more dimensions to character, and some are arguably more important than that one, but I otherwise agree with your metaphor.

I wear a platinum wedding ring for much the same reason. While it's really hard to break a platinum ring, they accumulate scratches quite easily. A ring that endures but carries with it scratches and grooves from the life you've lived seems like a pretty good metaphor for marriage.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#158

Post by unmole »

taeric wrote: post #74
xupybd wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All the small things add up. You'd be surprised how effective they can be when combined

Indeed, walking punches way over expectations for keeping weight off. You have to do a good hour of a walk, but an hour walking is probably better than a rushed workout of similar time.

> but an hour walking is probably better than a rushed workout of similar time.

How so?

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#159

Post by zackmorris »

IMHO there's a level of understanding beyond this, which might be called grace. I identify as a lifelong failure, but I no longer place blame on specifics like addiction or body weight or relationship issues. The truth of my existence is that the world is really messed up, but also beautiful despite the dysfunction. And I'm grateful for the adversity which woke me out of the fantasies which distracted me throughout so much of my life and added to the suffering of others.

Loosely that means that every time I took a drink, there was a reason, like maybe I was lonely because I was rejected by someone. Maybe I was fat because I was too broke to take care of myself. Maybe I was mean to my partners because I was projecting my own frustrations.

Now I look at life more like a game. I'm drawn to fringe ideas and projects with an overwhelming likelihood of failure. I've been through the ringer so many times that I'm more of a loosely held together hodgepodge of components than a coherent identity. But I keep showing up. I'm hardened from adversity but I've alchemized that into softness and an infinite well of empathy for others struggling with the human condition. I cheer inside when the meekest among us speak truth to power. I live in service to others now, who are an aspect of myself.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#160

Post by pseudostem »

Since a lot of people are talking about themselves so openly, I feel a compulsion too.

I hide behind perfection. Learning maths, programming, sports, health.

Of course I need a perfect OS, perfect programming paradigm, perfect book, the best music learning method, greatest body improvement program.

Perfect is the enemy of good. It's something I grapple with on a daily basis.

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