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Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

awesomekling.github.io

51–60 of 268 posts

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#51

Life is about taking risk. We make daily decisions that involve big and small risk constantly. Choosing to enjoy life today instead of waiting for tomorrow for that enjoyment isn't a failure , it's a choice. It comes with risk and tradeoffs. Everyone thinks there's a magical line that everyone else should take that straddles that line between enjoyment today and tomorrow. That lines doesn't exist, and isn't even the…

My life philosophy boils down to: you can do whatever you want as long as you're willing to pay the price and deal with the consequences.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#52
The habit to form is “making wise choices”. We dramatize and complicate this mostly because it is stimulating to do so, which gets reinforced via confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance, etc. We also seem to enjoy moralizing what is “wise” for other people more than keeping our attention where it belongs.

It can be as basic as forming the habit of asking whether you’ll be thankful you did XYZ when you’re at the end of your life. Sometimes that’s going to be a “yes”, even for “unwise” choices, but most people who actually engage with this will find that most of the honest answers are “no”.

It’s not new or revolutionary or particularly insightful or easily productized so it keeps having to be rediscovered.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#53
post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t actually think temperance and logic like this moves the needle significantly for obese people. When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10. You’re looking at fundamentally changing relationship with food at multiple levels to the point where it’s unrecognizable. I don’t think small changes in habit like this are in the same ballpark as what obese people need to become a normal weight, in the s…

Taking the stairs is a lot more attainable though.

But is unlikely to make a difference.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#54

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

> And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework.

Why not build a framework? At this point, you might be a subject-matter expert of frameworks!

You know what you like and how you want to use it.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#55

This is the classical 1.01**365=37 but 0.99**365=0.02. I guess the difficult part is to detect where is this missing 1%.

Yes, when the change is small it is hard to realize is it really 1.01 or 0.99? That demands a lot of constant reflection which causes self-doubt and the easiest path out of this tension is too let it go and just don't care.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#56
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that: - When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment. - If I buy food at a…

I don’t actually think temperance and logic like this moves the needle significantly for obese people. When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10. You’re looking at fundamentally changing relationship with food at multiple levels to the point where it’s unrecognizable. I don’t think small changes in habit like this are in the same ballpark as what obese people need to become a normal weight, in the s…

> When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10.

You have to lose 10 at some point. The way you're putting it, it looks like losing weight would be some kind of drastic sprint with a finish line. I don't think it can happen that way. You have to lose weight and continuing changing your habit to lose 10 more, and the others 10 after, until it stabilises at healthy weight, then you start your healthy life, but it's not a finish line, the effort continues by fighting unhealthy habit for the rest of your life.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#57

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

The advice should be, build stuff that you find interesting. I don’t think prospects and motivational words are sufficient to get you to do things, but curiosity - or even better, child-like curiosity- is a far better lever to help you get things done.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#58

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

> This is a behavioral habit, a disastrous one and potentially career-ending or at least progression-ending.

Or it's just that reality lurks somewhere and that hidden complexity will arise making the effort unsatisfying with roadblock happening too early.

Most people that achieve their pet project scope it into a narrow solution that don't address general problems. If your interest is the general problem, your solution is likely to be hard and complex, and narrowing it make it uninteresting.

Each experience is different, but since I stopped caring about half baked solution to general hard problems (New Web UI Framework ! Implementation automation !) and stopped daydreaming about building a solution, but merely thinking of the problem itself, I stopped plateauing and resumed a steady progress in my relationship with tech.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#60
post #3

> From these experiences, I’ve realized that avoiding bad habits is just as important as cultivating good habits. Avoidance rarely works i think. I'd say replacing negative habits with positive ones is a better long term strategy. Can recommend the App Habitica for this, free and open source. There are Android and iOS clients for it. Makes habits dailies and todos more fun. Not affiliated, only fixed an accessibility…

> I'd say replacing negative habits with positive ones is a better long term strategy. If the reason for forming the bad habit was that what you're susposed to do is dreadful i.e. not positive, yes, a positive one must be found. But a positive activity doesn't feel good from the start, that's why you need avoidance. You need to get over the hump. When you're forming a new habit, the natural tendency is to cheat when…

And my experience is that the idea you can just "tell yourself to avoid it" is basically baloney.

Replacement on the other hand... That seems to genuinely work. You just have to pick a replacement that isn't dreadful.

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My experience: I gained ~90lbs over 12 years. I didn't over eat horribly, but I also didn't exercise much, and my job keeps me stationary.

Instead of trying to not eat (dieting - which I have tried several times over those 12 years, never with long term success) this last time I took a different approach: I picked the easiest, most enjoyable, exercise I could think of and added that.

That exercise turned out to be biking - but not even just biking, because biking is still pretty hard when you're 90lbs overweight and I'd had other exercise attempts fail because they were unpleasant (ex: jogging). E-biking, though... that's pretty easy and nice.

So an e-bike it was. It's totally cheating with a bike: it makes biking feel relaxing, tackles the hills with ease, always gives you a cooling breeze - basically: it's just enjoyable and refreshing.

12.5 months later and I'm down 50 lbs. It turns out that I didn't need some dreadful, healthy, righteous activity to replace the bad ones. I just needed something small and enjoyable I could do as an alternative. Something that wouldn't dig the hole deeper.

I set absolutely zero rules around dieting/eating. I didn't actively avoid anything at all. I just added a small enjoyable activity with very low activation cost.

Essentially: It's hard to avoid a bad (but pleasurable) activity if the alternative is boredom or chores (ex: jogging). It's easy to avoid it by giving yourself a different pleasurable activity to pick.

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