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Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

awesomekling.github.io

31–40 of 268 posts

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#31

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

I wrote a post about this that may help you. Please take a read and let me know https://noben.org "how to finish"

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#32

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

Man you just hit me hard with this... Also add one insanely overbearing mother that expects straight As and a perfect child, on top of some bullying and such... Really leads you to just want to curl up and not take risks anymore. I've just been discovering, through the aid of therapy, just how much my mother has affected my whole life up to this point. I love her and she was doing her best. I really believe she was,…

Hear, hear

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#33
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Calling those meals "failures" now would be saying that it was a mistake to enjoy that time with my family and friends, and it absolutely wasn't. If gaining weight is the failure in this context, the mistake would likely be the excessive intake of food. Time spent with friends and family would not be the mistake. This might have come off a bit harsh.

Temperance, as you suggest, is a beautiful thing. It's hard (for me, especially), but sometimes we just have to put down the fork and politely decline that second, third, or fourth pancake.

I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that:

- When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment.

- If I buy food at a restaurant, I don't have an obligation to finish it to get my moneys worth. And again, I can just save it for another meal if I want.

- I don't have to eat snacks just because the host put them on a table at a party.

For some reason our brains think that just because food is _there_ we need to eat it, but that's generally not true.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#34
post #16
post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Choosing to enjoy life" is not how most people get fat. It's not meals with friends and family but rather scrolling tiktok and eating potato chips.

Well, you're not wrong. But on the other hand, even the most minor enjoyment (especially the kind that will make you guilty later) is still somehow a form of enjoyment. Perhaps the bigger lessons is that small pleasures can be expensive in the long term. More than we think.

There's enjoying things, and being a servant of pleasure.

Plato puts it well in Gorgias; where he makes an analogy of two men tasked with keeping jars filled with wine, honey and milk.

The first man has jars of good quality, and is able to fill them up and they stay full and then he can go on about his life and be happy, the task of keeping them full causes him no grief. The second man has cracks and holes in his jars, so the pleasure always leaks out and he needs to spend every day topping them up in order to avoid misery. He's completely enslaved by the task and it's causing him daily grief to keep them full.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#35

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

Man you just hit me hard with this... Also add one insanely overbearing mother that expects straight As and a perfect child, on top of some bullying and such... Really leads you to just want to curl up and not take risks anymore. I've just been discovering, through the aid of therapy, just how much my mother has affected my whole life up to this point. I love her and she was doing her best. I really believe she was,…

Not GP but I share similar experiences as you. Started coding as a teenager, but after I got my first job I did similar things as you for a very long time on and off until only a few years ago.

In part, it's good that you're trying out new things. That part should always be something we do. But the issue is when you don't have developed taste and principles to discriminate between things that just sound interesting and things you actually want to explore.

For me the solution has been to develop a small set of important values by asking fundamental questions. Why do I program? What does emotionally satisfy me (fun/pride/learning)? What is valuable for my users? What are computers for? What makes a good program?

Ask questions like that and you get a list of important things that you focus on.

Whenever I see something new, it first has to get through my value filter.

My reading, learning and tinkering list is still growing slightly faster than it shrinks. But I'm much more content and happy with what I actually end up doing or reading.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#36
Indeed. And I think a good term here is "moral failure", which is exactly what the traditional meaning of "sin" is, i.e., doing something you shouldn't, that you know, to some degree, that you shouldn't (culpability is determined by the degree to which you understand you are doing something wrong, since understanding is a prerequisite for consent). And small sins are gateways to still greater sins. Indulge them enough, rationalize your indulgence, and you will slowly habituate indulgence and corrupt yourself and shift your moral Overton window. You become what you repeatedly do.

Sinning, in fact, corrupts the intellect and so it quite literally dulls your mind to reality over time. Why? Because in order to choose against what you know is the good decision, you have to turn your mind away from reality, from the truth. Do this often enough and it becomes a habit of blinding the mind to enable doing what you shouldn't. A blinded mind is degraded, worse at grasping reality, and this makes it even easier to commit still greater evil as it has become worse at determining what is objectively good. A downward spiral.

This is why a habit of self-discipline is important. What we call "self-denial" is really the practice of depriving yourself of what you desire that you know you should not desire inappropriately. The obvious example here is food, but it applies generally. Food, as such, is good. However, if I know that I've eaten enough, but an unruly desire for food surfaces, perhaps for food I know is bad for me, denying or repressing that desire is good. One of the purposes of fasting is actually the disciplining of the appetite for food. Consistent practice of self-denial has the effect of regulating the appetite and strengthening the dominion of reason over it, which develops one's integrity. Over time, that unruly desire, ruled over and purified by reasoned discipline, will better conform to the rational order, i.e., what is objectively good. Note how people who indulge their hunger against their own good only become more voracious eaters. They may even become disordered eaters (e.g., bulimia). Rewarding an inordinate (or disordered) desire only reinforces it.

Now consider how vicious, destructive, and irrational our consumerist culture is. It thrives on mindless and degrading indulgence of any and all desires. This is not the way.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#37
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Temperance, as you suggest, is a beautiful thing. It's hard (for me, especially), but sometimes we just have to put down the fork and politely decline that second, third, or fourth pancake.

I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that: - When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment. - If I buy food at a…

And in general it's easier to have the snacks simply not be there, than to try to resist eating them. The habit of having random food and snacks lying around the house for 'just in case' is not a good one if you care about your health or weight. Unless of course you are actually required to eat frequently due to medical conditions.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#38

Ever since I quit my first job I've been tinkering with languages and frameworks. And every time I would complete a book or course I'd face the decision of building something on my own. That building never happens. 1 month later my portfolio is nonexistent, there are no projects, and my blog is a figment of my imagination. And right now I'm in the process of learning yet another framework. So I've been thinking: This…

I feel the same. For me the learning is the enjoyable part, and building a 1000th TODO app or a mediocre blog does not appeal to me. Although I'd like to have a blog and it would be great if I had some examples of the frameworks I've learnt, it's not something that I'll spend my time on.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#39
post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Temperance, as you suggest, is a beautiful thing. It's hard (for me, especially), but sometimes we just have to put down the fork and politely decline that second, third, or fourth pancake.

I wasn't particularly overweight before but I attribute about ~10lbs of weight loss this year to realizing that: - When at a dinner with family or friends, I never _have_ to finish something. Most of the time the host will be happy to package my leftovers to take back home when asked. That last part makes it clear that I like and appreciate the food even through I didn't finish it in the moment. - If I buy food at a…

I don’t actually think temperance and logic like this moves the needle significantly for obese people. When you’re obese you need to lose 50, 70, 100+ lbs, not 10. You’re looking at fundamentally changing relationship with food at multiple levels to the point where it’s unrecognizable. I don’t think small changes in habit like this are in the same ballpark as what obese people need to become a normal weight, in the same way that I don’t think taking the stairs instead of the elevator is in the same ballpark as someone who wants to become a professional athlete.

Re: Excellence is a habit, but so is failure

#40
post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Choosing to enjoy life" is not how most people get fat. It's not meals with friends and family but rather scrolling tiktok and eating potato chips.

Eating shit and scrolling is enjoyable though, right? It just doesn’t sound as socially acceptable to admit it.

If you could wave a magic wand and give someone a day to do whatever they want to do no one would be choosing chips and TikTok.

I don't think many people really enjoy it. It's just less painful than other things, or they don't have the resources to do what they actually want to do, or their choice requires something that's not possible right now... Chips and TikTok is the fallback, not the first choice.

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