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A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

pewresearch.org

221–226 of 226 posts

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Couldn't get girls to look at me. Yeah. Spent more time there than not. > And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract. You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. > If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different.…

> You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. I didn't say that was the sole consideration but it would be wildly disingenuous to say its not a factor in the big picture. the only guys I've run into that managed to have relationships before achieving financial success were young white guys. > You've just advocat…

> do you have an alternative suggestion?

Sure. Don't use an arbitrary, unproven rule as an excuse to turn down the opportunity of forming a mutually uplifting relationship - should such an opportunity present itself.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#222

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Couldn't get girls to look at me. Yeah. Spent more time there than not. > And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract. You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. > If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different.…

> You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. I didn't say that was the sole consideration but it would be wildly disingenuous to say its not a factor in the big picture. the only guys I've run into that managed to have relationships before achieving financial success were young white guys. > You've just advocat…

> what do you expect me to say?

Instead of a paragraph of different coding paths, offer a half dozen paths to high income that well reflect the scope of the population's capabilities (inc the half of the population with below average intellect for example).

If there is an astounding abundance of likely paths available - and they are realistic for folks working the hours it takes to survive in a 4 income economy - coming up with a handful of highly likely examples should be trivial.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Couldn't get girls to look at me. Yeah. Spent more time there than not. > And whatever amount of money you need to make is determined by the women you are trying to attract. You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. > If you're already in a relationship and have responsibilities (ie: kids) that's different.…

> You deliver this like it dwarfs all other factors considered by superior women. I grew up around those women and I know that that isn't remotely true. I didn't say that was the sole consideration but it would be wildly disingenuous to say its not a factor in the big picture. the only guys I've run into that managed to have relationships before achieving financial success were young white guys. > You've just advocat…

> but I am not white. I'm south asian an ethnic group confirmed by OK cupid in their own high level research to be the least likely group to get replies back from women on dating sites.

That reality genuinely sucks. People suck.

That said, my qualification was just to establish the lowest difficulty level. I wanted to give your American Dream® scenario it's strongest possible showing - before exposing it to reality. It wasn't a comment on anything else.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#224
The fact that in 1980 only 18% of men had college degrees, but no problem getting married says everything.

Take good paying jobs away, make everything more expensive and here we are with Passport Bros (essentially a flee America movement) and multigenerational living. You have to have a good steady income and some stable foundation to build such an expensive life. America isn't giving men what they need to build a stable family.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#225
post #27

I think marriage is overrated. Just a construct of society. You can have kids with a partner, but really no reason to formalize it with “marriage”. I guess there are tax reasons though that make it more logical though.

Meh, I thought this in my early 20s. But if nothing else, marriage is an agreement that you’re not just gonna nope out when there’s adversity or when something better comes along. It’s a powerful mutual gesture. If you aren’t compelled by that idea, there’s someone out there who will. Maybe you have to dump your current 6-year-long situationship to go look for them, but hey, it’s not like you’re married. ;)

You nailed it: there is power in that mutual gesture - it creates a bond that pushes both parties to work through challenges instead of just noping out with a break up. There's a reason they call it "tying the knot".

Source: A 40-year old who has no interest in marriage and only saw it as an "antiquated social construct" when I was younger. I learned there's more to it.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#226
post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is just the old Chomsky false conscious argument which is as wrong now as ever. Nothing is stopping you from living frugally and valuing friends and family. The economic structure doesn’t prevent that, in fact it’s generally easier to live with parents if you get along well. Other people just want other things, and that’s OK too.

> it’s generally easier to live with parents if you get along well Yeah, but American/human mating rituals being what they are, it's not like you'll be getting married and having kids in that situation.

I wouldn't say this is necessarily universal or a fixed cultural feature. Lots of couple in the US live with a parent or parents.
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