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“How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

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Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#131

Post by Balgair »

ido wrote: post #99
no1groyp wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

35 is considered geriatric pregnancy

Technically yes, but in major western cities these days the professional class tend to start having children in their 30s. I know plenty of people here that had their first child in their late 30 or even at 40 (both women and men) - probably more than the amount of people i know who had their first child in their 20s!

Here geriatric doesn't refer to the average age of first birth, it refers to issues that the mother and child will experience during gestation and delivery. Isuues such as :

    High blood pressure and preeclampsia

    Gestational diabetes

    Miscarriage or stillbirth

    Labor problems that require you to have a C-section

    Premature birth

    Low birthweight

    Chromosome disorders like Down syndrome

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#132

Post by janalsncm »

lumiukko wrote: post #9
georgeburdell wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, the biggest drawback was doing all of the life things later. I graduated at 27, which is on the earlier end, then met my partner a year later, got married 2 years after that, bought a house 2 years after that, and then 2 years after that finally felt settled enough to have our first child (second was born 3 years later). Money was usually gating each step. We’re going to be pushing 70 before our children have…

Are you aware of how privileged you are?

I actually don’t understand the idea of privilege. Things like having two loving parents, a stable household, and good health are seen as privileged. There’s an underlying assumption that people should feel bad for having nice things because some people don’t have them. But aren’t these just things we should be trying to provide for everyone? Privilege is the dividend of running a successful society, a reflection that we aren’t in a constant state of nature.

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#133

Post by dporter »

ido wrote: post #99
no1groyp wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

35 is considered geriatric pregnancy

Technically yes, but in major western cities these days the professional class tend to start having children in their 30s. I know plenty of people here that had their first child in their late 30 or even at 40 (both women and men) - probably more than the amount of people i know who had their first child in their 20s!

The fact that it is more popular to have children over the age of 35 doesn't change the medical realities of it. Anecdotal, but I know more couples with fertility issues than couples who have successfully had a healthy child.

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#134

Post by lumiukko »

alienicecream wrote: post #118
lumiukko wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am truly happy for them, but I would like to see that this is placed in the appropriate context for this public forum. From an international viewpoint, this is the exception, not the norm. "Ranting" about a rather exceptional life path seems misplaced, without providing additional context.

Why would that need to be placed "in the appropriate context"? How does that help anyone who is worse off?

Because they are stating this story as something negative, some drawback. Perhaps it is, for them, but that's where the context and perspective should come in. To me it sounds like an incredible success story. Most people I know, me included, don't have any of those things, although some are well on their list of goals. Having achieved all of them at that young age is a privilege, maybe also due to privilege (I don't know), but certainly not a burden or drawback.

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#135

Post by ido »

dporter wrote: post #133
ido wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Technically yes, but in major western cities these days the professional class tend to start having children in their 30s. I know plenty of people here that had their first child in their late 30 or even at 40 (both women and men) - probably more than the amount of people i know who had their first child in their 20s!

The fact that it is more popular to have children over the age of 35 doesn't change the medical realities of it. Anecdotal, but I know more couples with fertility issues than couples who have successfully had a healthy child.

I'm not saying it's a good idea medically, just that "having first child at 33" is hardly out of the ordinary, it's pretty much normal and expected these days. I wouldn't really expect someone with only a B.Sc. to have children earlier than that either.

Buying a house at 31 is not only "not-late" it's even pretty early these days!

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#136

Post by ModernMech »

solardev wrote: post #129
ModernMech wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Chilling honestly. There are a couple ways of looking at this, yours is one take. We can look at it another way. The kind of people with the intelligence and persistence to successfully complete a Ph.D. are disproportionately neurodivergent, IME. You’ll find a lot of people on the spectrum at the upper ranks of academia. Such people lack in dopamine production, and may end up taking medication to deal with that as…

Is there evidence for this?

I dunno I thought we were sharing personal experience.

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#138

Post by fsckboy »

tomohelix wrote: post #2

I think the only reason I was able to get through my PhD was because I am used to the work culture and expectations. After going into the industry in a relatively healthy and good company, I realized just how much stress I had and how bad it was in academia. In a way, the grinder serves as a test of willpower and discipline and those who could persevere through it can say they have the mental fortitude to handle stre…

a lot of what you describe in terms of work culture, expectations, stress, grinder, test of willpower and discipline... is pretty much how high achieving students who suicide describe their lives. So, it's not fortitude, it's other supportive elements of one's emotional life that get one through it.

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#139

Post by georgeburdell »

solardev wrote: post #128
georgeburdell wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me, the biggest drawback was doing all of the life things later. I graduated at 27, which is on the earlier end, then met my partner a year later, got married 2 years after that, bought a house 2 years after that, and then 2 years after that finally felt settled enough to have our first child (second was born 3 years later). Money was usually gating each step. We’re going to be pushing 70 before our children have…

That sounds so exhausting. Was it all worth it? Would you do it the same way again?

I wouldn’t do a PhD. A PhD is really an elite training program (as in, it is required for people occupying elite jobs). However, most people don’t get elite jobs, such as professor, scientist, or designer/architect if in industry. When I graduated, like many PhDs, I took a job in data analysis and quality assurance that could be done by a BS graduate. And there I have have essentially remained because your first job tends to be your career without an immense effort to change.

As a result of my middling career path, I’ve become much more interested in family and hobbies, and I think to myself that I could have been doing those things several years sooner if not for the PhD

Re: “How is your thesis going?” Students’ perspectives on mental health and stress

#140

Post by twelve40 »

Hydraulix989 wrote: post #44
twelve40 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Several startups back, I worked for a pompous boss, ex-Goldman-VP, who told me that people who get masters are worse programmers, especially if it's from a better school than their bachelor's. You'll be surprised how many nutty biases people have out there.

As strange as it is, I think there's validity to it. Master's degrees filter more on having the money to cover tuition than test scores, and it's easier to just buy your way into a good school than with undergraduate. I remember taking courses alongside Master's students who were anecdotally less impressive than my fellow undergraduates. This experience (along with my dwindling pocketbook) helped dissuade me from sta…

> Master's degrees filter more on having the money

I was a TA and RA, didn't have to pay a dime for grad school, in fact got paid a livable salary, that was UC. No scholarships or anything special at all, just regular TA and RA work. Not sure how "typical" that is, but that money filter certainly did not exist when i was there.

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