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Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

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Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#91

Post by AznHisoka »

ChrisNorstrom wrote: post #61
cwilson wrote: post #41

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but this is one of the most frustrating things I've ever read, as well as many of the comments echoing the author. I do commend you for posting this publicly, that takes guts, but you have to do something about it. If I were your CEO, I'd insist you take a very long break, right now. You realize you're going to die, in the best case, 70 to 80 years from now, yeah? Likely much s…

Thank you. I wish parents taught their kids to 'know when to quit' more often. I've read stories from founders who missed the birth of their children, left their dying parents, sacrificed everything important for some dumb startup that sells shoelaces or soap or diapers. It's one thing to be persistent and another to be delusional. And the best way to find out which one you are, is when you take a step back, clear yo…

I agree. While I can have empathy for OP's feelings, when he says he's changing the world with upverter, you can't help but think he's being delusional. It's just a site that shares your mechanical drawings.. let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Your own happiness comes first, not some imaginary customers who want to use your product to make themselves more money, or inject themselves with more dopamine... they don't care about your well-being at all.

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#93

Post by [deleted] »

cwilson wrote: post #41

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but this is one of the most frustrating things I've ever read, as well as many of the comments echoing the author. I do commend you for posting this publicly, that takes guts, but you have to do something about it. If I were your CEO, I'd insist you take a very long break, right now. You realize you're going to die, in the best case, 70 to 80 years from now, yeah? Likely much s…

[deleted]

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#94

Post by spacefood »

LeandroLovisolo wrote: post #66
spacefood wrote: post #50

Zak. Please listen to me. I suffer depression, but you know what has helped me immensely? Lifting HEAVY weights. Give it a try. Lift HEAVY weights for at least 4-5 days a week, and make it the absolute NUMBER ONE PRIORITY in your life for that month. Closely monitor how you feel, and how your mind thinks during that month. Try this ASAP Zak. It will IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. P.S. Sorry if I come off as a spazz. I just reall…

Are you following any specific program?

No specific program, but I'm focusing on squats, dead lifts, bench press and shoulder presses (in that order). I'm lifting close to my one rep max, so my rep ranges are lower, 5-6 reps per set. No junk reps. Go heavy or go home.

Hope that helps.

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#95

Post by Estragon »

j45 wrote: post #85
Estragon wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is very wise advice. Have you ever heard of Ken McLeod, the Buddhist teacher? Your essay reminds me of him.

Hi, I haven't heard of Ken McLeod, but I'll look him up. I like reading. I'm not a Buddhist per say, I did go through my Dalai Lama phase and saw him speak in person.. but we should be able to learn from every great teaching. Universal truths exist in all great writings, spiritual, or not, and it's up to us to subdue our ego to learn to take the good from everything with our so called open-mindedness. Doubt really is…

The emphasis on peace and on understanding and connecting to problems through experience rather than logic and doubt is what reminded me of him. He hasn't written much about these things, they come up more in his talks for long-time students. They're in A Trackless Path somewhere, for instance:

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/category/retreats/a-trackless-...

but that's approximately 25 hours of audio, and I can't pin it down more precisely that. (But the whole thing is good, and a concrete approach to the desiderata you outlined.)

Of his essays, probably the most conceptually interesting is his series on karma as an evolutionary process.

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/karma-genesis-conditions/0

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/karma-growth/0

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/karma-two-approaches/0

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#96

Post by mindcrime »

Wow, there's so much one could say on this subject. I'd post a lengthier response, but I don't have time right now, so I'll just say this:

Startup depression (hell, depression in general) is a serious problem. And while I'm no doctor or psychiatrist or anything, to the extent that just a "friendly ear to bend" can be useful, I offer myself up as such, to anybody dealing with depression. I've struggled with it myself to some extent, so I know what it's like. By all means, feel free to email me, call me, whatever, if you're ever feeling down and need somebody to talk to. If you happen to be in or near the RTP, NC area, we can meet in person over a coffee/beer/dinner whatever.

Also, if you're looking for other startup minded folks in this area to socialize with, definitely ping the RTP Hackers and Founders mailing list.

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#97

Post by mindcrime »

Shenglong wrote: post #26

Speaking as a straight male: Surround yourself with beautiful women; it's hard to get sad around beautiful women. I'm no stranger to the darkness, and I know that in some environments, I feel everyday, just as you do. Force a change, go somewhere else. I found SV to be beautiful, but how long can you really stay in a male-dominated atmosphere, and still stay sane/happy? I know this sounds really shallow, but pause fo…

Surround yourself with beautiful women; it's hard to get sad around beautiful women.

As a fellow straight male, I sort of agree and disagree with this. First, you make it sound awfully easy, when that's not necessarily the case. "Surround yourself with beautiful women" is not necessarily as easy as "Tune this JBossMQ messaging system to deliver 10000 messages / hour to the consumers." Plenty of hacker/geek types are a lot better at the latter than the former.

But maybe the bigger issue is that women (or men, to the women out there) can be the cause of as much sadness as happiness. Meeting someone, spending time with them, starting to develop an emotional connection with them, and then having the relationship blow up in your face, is extremely depressing. In my personal experience, some of the most depressed times in my life have involved women. Now sure, there's a mindset of "have plenty of women in your life, don't get emotionally attached to any one, be a player," etc. But even if you want that (and not everybody would), it's a big investment of time, energy, etc. to achieve that lifestyle. And that is, in turn, time taken away from your startup. Even more to the point, some people may feel the need to achieve startup success, before they feel like they can achieve "opposite sex" success. There's a lot of self-image stuff involved in our interactions with the opposite sex, ya know?

Anyway, if there's a point to all this rambling, it's to say "Sure, women are good, but happiness isn't as easy as an offhand comment to 'have more women in your life.'"

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#98

Post by drumdance »

subwindow wrote: post #18

I don't want to be pedantic, but this is not depression. Depression is 6 months without a single high point. Depression is not a roller coaster- there are no ups. Just down. For a long fucking time. I've been depressed off and on for the past 10 years- about 5 depressive periods, each 6-18 months. I don't want to minimize the OP's struggles- he most certainly has some kind of mood disorder (possibly rapid-cycling bip…

I've struggled with it on & off for about 20 years. In the last 3 years I've found Zoloft works remarkable well for me. I'd tried other SSRIs in the past but didn't get much out of them.

Also, for the fatigue, my psych diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue and put me on some vitamins and supplements. I have never felt more energetic in my life. Adrenal fatigue is a common side effect of stress and my doctor says it's really common among entrepreneurs.

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#99

Post by mr1976 »

alecco wrote: post #64

The state of HN: a lot of unqualified people giving idiotic advise to someone who needs professional help.

this. psychiatric issues, in whatever form they may present, are (a) not really diagnosable from a blog post and (b) often treatable and result in a good quality of life. go and seek professional help. get a referral from a medical professional, not friends or family.

"Eat slow burning carbs"... seriously?

Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression

#100

Post by cr4zy »

I find getting something done, _anything_, gets me out of a slump the best. Try to make it the most important thing possible, but don't get stuck in analysis paralysis. Forcing yourself to do something will often help your mind work out any ambiguities along the way.
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