I don't have much to add to the excellent advice and discussion already given, but this is the first I heard of Upverter, and it looks awesome. Wish I had this when I was studying engineering in college.
Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
81–90 of 105 posts
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#82He wants it. He wants it so bad. But even when he puts in the work, has the drive, and tries so much success isn't there. This is the flip side to every multi million dollar exits of some social widget or TechCrunch rah rah bullshit or the stock buyouts of a collapsed firm. This the reality in the tech game. Not everyone wins. I know this, I felt this, I felt the highs and lows. But something isn't working. Many poin…
Well said. Everyone's formula is different based on their internal and external support structures. I do feel the qualities in a potential solution are more common, than not.
1) It starts and ends with building and maintaining a positive, healthy inner-dialogue. That is the single biggest thing that drags everyone down.
2) Be a friend to yourself. Be a friend to your future self. It's as much about valuing your own journey and time as it is trying to figure it all out. It's not all supposed to be figured out. We have to figure out enough to keep moving, inward, onward, upward.
3) Change is entirely the issue. Instead of changing for the sake of change, we don't pay enough attention to the subtle, but huge fact of whether we're changing for the better.
4) Experiences are worthless if positive lessons aren't learnt. It doesn't matter what anyone does or doesn't do, this axiom I've found to be true anywhere I look. When one gets caught up so haphazardly collecting experiences and not paying attention to "Have I stopped learning or growing positively", we start feeding the weeds as much as the garden.
I don't want to detract from what you wrote by saying much else. I agree with the rest of what you wrote :)
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#83Hi, Thanks for writing this, it's a brave and open and honest thing to do where people are afraid of doing those things. At a certain point, we have to get over what others think and get to figuring out what we think, and how it should be. I believe a person does whatever they do to find a certain amount of peace in themselves and their lives. I'd like to share some scraps I've scraped together on finding, and keepin…
"A threatened person lives in a threatening world. A scared person lives in a scary world. An untrustworthy person lives in an untrusting world. A trusting person lives in a trusting world." plenty of gems in there, but this one takes the cake. I've been trying to verbalize this exact thought for a while. tnx.
Glad it was of use to you.
Some might roll their eyes at some of what I wrote, but every 'gem' was something I learnt the hard way.
It's kind of weird, I feel like I shared more of myself in that post than any other on HN, lol.
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#84You are viewing life through gloom filled lenses. It doesn't have to be this way.
I have been working alone/startups for about 3 years when I quit my last job. I was majorly depressed for over 3 years without realizing it, because on the surface it seemed like I had "the good life" (vacationing every 2-3 months, a bunch of friends, great income, etc) but everything I tried was sluggish, I felt demotivated and alone. Only when I checked myself into cognitive therapy did I realize how bad things were upstairs.
Over the years I built up all these inaccurate beliefs in myself and others without correcting them and letting them run rampant. I dedicated 2 hours a day in reading and practicing exercises + 1 hr / week cognitive behavioral therapy sessions for about 6 months, and it is by far the best investment I have spent. While they can't fix your problems so that you will never be depressed again, but it definitely helps you realize when you are thinking inaccurately, showing warning signs of depression, and things to help you cope.
If you can not afford therapy, then I suggest reading the book recommended by my therapist, "feeling good" by david burns. It helped me a lot more than any advice from parents, friends, strangers on the internet ever did.
You're welcome to reach out to me if you have any questions.
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#85Hi, Thanks for writing this, it's a brave and open and honest thing to do where people are afraid of doing those things. At a certain point, we have to get over what others think and get to figuring out what we think, and how it should be. I believe a person does whatever they do to find a certain amount of peace in themselves and their lives. I'd like to share some scraps I've scraped together on finding, and keepin…
This is very wise advice. Have you ever heard of Ken McLeod, the Buddhist teacher? Your essay reminds me of him.
Hi, I haven't heard of Ken McLeod, but I'll look him up. I like reading.
I'm not a Buddhist per say, I did go through my Dalai Lama phase and saw him speak in person.. but we should be able to learn from every great teaching.
Universal truths exist in all great writings, spiritual, or not, and it's up to us to subdue our ego to learn to take the good from everything with our so called open-mindedness. Doubt really is the enemy.
I should have added one thing: My problems aren't unique, nor are my thoughts unique. No one's are. Very little thought or problems are unique or though about for the first time.
Man has been trying to figure their shit out for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Their journeys exist in books.
IF with our our ego we feel we have to locate and connect all the dots ourselves, so be it. But, not everyones doing this at the same time, or on the same page, or see the same picture from connecting their dots.
Too often we feel we don't have a single soul to talk to, and my words are more to reach anyone feeling that. It's not right.
All of this begins with an always growing and improving relationship with ourselves, fuelled by curiosity.
Are there Ken McLeod essays I should check out first? Feel free to email :)
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#86Hi, Thanks for writing this, it's a brave and open and honest thing to do where people are afraid of doing those things. At a certain point, we have to get over what others think and get to figuring out what we think, and how it should be. I believe a person does whatever they do to find a certain amount of peace in themselves and their lives. I'd like to share some scraps I've scraped together on finding, and keepin…
Keep moving. Inward, onward, upward. An absolute gem. If there is something I could possibly add to this wonderful summary, it'd be to further stress the importance of peace in our lives. I am yet to really experience a startup first-hand but have had a strong bipolar commotion only recently. I really can connect with what Zak feels and no amount of persuasion can repel that feeling of emptiness. When you go through…
Thanks, that was the one reminder I gave myself for a few years.
Contemplating and realizing the puny existence we live is truly emancipating, we're free to be free and create. What a gift.
I don't think there is a 'startup' depression, just not paying attention to your thoughts, actions to see if it's getting us what we want in a lasting and fulfilling way. If we get into a rut and aren't paying attention, that rut gets bigger, wider, deeper.
Discipline and paying attention are 2 skills that are so important and ones I fight to keep improving every day.
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#87Hi, Thanks for writing this, it's a brave and open and honest thing to do where people are afraid of doing those things. At a certain point, we have to get over what others think and get to figuring out what we think, and how it should be. I believe a person does whatever they do to find a certain amount of peace in themselves and their lives. I'd like to share some scraps I've scraped together on finding, and keepin…
This message is for @paraschopra.
I'm sorry your link got downvoted and killed, it shouldn't have been.
I hope this reaches you: What I wrote isn't hokey self help. It's also not blind faith or following.
We can't know HOW to pursue peace, or discipline in our lives, without first learning WHY.
That's the first change that sets up the rest. Learning to understand peace, and discipline is vital to turning on the light bulb that will let you see your path forward.
I'm not hurt or anything by what you said. But, I am not sure if you were consciously aware of how you just spread doubts instead of clarity yourself.
You didn't offer an alternative, a process, or anything yourself. And I think everyone is capable of that.
I appreciate you doubt what I'm speaking about. Feel free to email me, I will talk to you forever about this, most important, topic in my life.
Over and above my work in life, becoming the most I can by learning about myself is my life's true work.
I'm dead serious. I don't believe in hokey self help shit either.
We all have a compass inside of us, maybe our heart. Finding, learning to read, and follow that compass using our mind and gut is our goal. It's not all logical, or we would be able to think our way out of whatever we get into :)
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#88No you are not alone. But that might be part of the problem. Get a dog. I know I know. You don't have the time to care for a dog. But you do. Cause you'll make time. And hire a dog walker. I do. She comes in every day and walks my 95lbs lab/dane mix. Most dog walkers will feed your dog too, if needed. Coming home to an empty house gets old fast.
A fish might be a practical pet too. A betta fish is a gift I often give to friends who live alone.
They're hearty, easy to take care of and really low maintenance, and live in tiny tanks without any issue that will fit on your desk.
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is very wise advice. Have you ever heard of Ken McLeod, the Buddhist teacher? Your essay reminds me of him.
Every time I visit HN I become a little bit more interested in Buddhism.
I read the Tao Te Ching, check it out. An Open Heart by the Dalai Lama is a great general read, as well.
Both are not overtly, or covertly spiritual but definitely provide anyone food with thought.
Re: Sad, Tired, and Alone: My Ongoing Battle With Startup Depression
#90dude.. buy a gun if the drugs don't help anymore.
this is by far the most insensitive and callous comment I've read. I wish i had the karma points to downvote you.