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A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

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Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#81

Post by renewiltord »

cmrdporcupine wrote: post #16

Mostly just economics, is my wager. In a classic agrarian economy, having a spouse and making children works out -- more children = more hands = more work done = more food or more product to market. In a modern "pure" capitalist industrial/service economy, the economic model doesn't pay for the cost of the reproduction of the labour it depends on. So not a surprise when people do the same cost-benefit analysis for th…

Late 30s, early 40s is really late for children. Something I will teach children is that real life has time limits and it's important to be aware of them.

It's all doable, of course, but all risk has increased. One thing I would do in my life on a do over is start earlier.

Late 30s you're playing on hard mode. Early 40s, you've got to sperm donor that and solo it (which a friend of a friend is doing). The time risk is very high!

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#82

Post by cultofmetatron »

There are a variety of reasons this is happening. Most of which are political suicide to bring up. Se lets all enjoy the descent into a 3rd world state.

If you wanna actually find yourself in a relationship, do what I did and travel to other countries. Contrary to the mainstream narrative perpetuated by american propaganda, most women outside america aren't "poor and uneducated and looking for a passport."

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#83

Post by fundad »

hospitalJail wrote: post #72

What a shame. I know I got lucky with a great wife. Going to share my story, I'm sorry how it comes off. If I was better at writing, I'm sure I could sound humble or something. I also did not censor anything controversial, I hope this can give my single people in their 30s and 40s some ideas. Although admittedly the dating market was different. On growing as a person: My wife really liked one of the homework assignme…

You saved me the trouble of writing out all the same advice.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#84

Post by wonderwonder »

hospitalJail wrote: post #78
wonderwonder wrote: post #75

My take is that with the rise of social media and online lives, people have things to fill their time with that are a placebo for real relationships. They work, get home and then doom scroll or play games for 4 hours and go to bed. This eats into the time people used to spend socializing and meeting people in real life. The reduction in religion further eats into this as people would socialize at church, temple, etc.…

At least everything you mentioned was completely optional and there are tons of public places to meet people. Outdoor malls, hobbies, gym, parties, libraries, book stores, parks, heck ask chatgpt. F society who says you can't talk to strangers, those are losers. Say Hi, ask about jobs/hobbies, if they arent interested, you can tell from body language. Tell them it was nice talking to them and leave. They won't rememb…

Sure there are plenty of public places, church [I'm not religious] etc. though ensured you had something in common. Imagine being the attractive girl at the gym trying to work out and every time you go, 4 dudes come up and hit on you, day after day after day. Or the married woman that doesn't wear a ring just trying to grocery shop for her family and cant get down isle without being hit on. Parties and bars sure, I get it.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#85

Post by ch4s3 »

FollowingTheDao wrote: post #36
mc32 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe people are just aiming too high. Sometimes you have to know your limitations and know where you fit. Not everyone is a high achiever and not everyone thought education was going to deliver a better sociology economic potential for them. It’s unfortunate that society today misleads youth in thinking they can make their own reality and that there are shortcuts to success for all. Some are lucky but most are not.…

You see, your thought processes are part of the problem. > misleads youth in thinking they can make their own reality and that there are shortcuts to success for all. Many people, like myself, are not shooting for "success". We just want to live and hang out with our family and friends. That is success. And the economic structure makes that impossible because everyone else has the idea that success means having to fi…

This is just the old Chomsky false conscious argument which is as wrong now as ever. Nothing is stopping you from living frugally and valuing friends and family. The economic structure doesn’t prevent that, in fact it’s generally easier to live with parents if you get along well.

Other people just want other things, and that’s OK too.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#86

Post by trafficante »

lyu07282 wrote: post #47
FooBarBizBazz wrote: post #9

In beehives, the drones -- correction, workers -- are sterile. This maximizes returns on capital at quarter and even decade timescales.

(I assume you mean the worker bees) You think it's intentional of the neoliberal beehive? First driving women into the workforce doubling profits and then turn people into worker bees without any future. Perhaps the suicide rates once they grow old and retire into poverty will also have some economic benefit. Of course it's swarm intelligence, hard to understand the logic of some bee or ant in a colony, it won't be a…

Like many…odd aspects of current society, it’s hard to tell what’s intentional.

In this case, the Medical Assistance In Dying (MAID) movement seems to suddenly be making significant progress after stalling since the 90s - just in time for culling expensive Boomers [1] (and, also in Canada, mentally ill homeless and teens).

As mentioned in the link, assisted suicide is being pushed by providers (at least to some degree), which still doesn’t prove intention, but is quite a bit more concerning than people deciding on this course of action by themselves.

[1] https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/veterans-maid-rcmp-investig...

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#87

Post by elevaet »

newZWhoDis wrote: post #44
xyst wrote: post #27

I think marriage is overrated. Just a construct of society. You can have kids with a partner, but really no reason to formalize it with “marriage”. I guess there are tax reasons though that make it more logical though.

I agree in principle, but getting married was a five figure a year tax reduction back when I did it. Like it or not, the government unfairly taxes single people.

Do you live somewhere that allows income splitting?

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#89

Post by xhkkffbf »

drumhead wrote: post #60
dougmwne wrote: post #6

The trend of less education means less marriage is interesting. I think that tells me the root cause is that 25% of 40 year olds are not financially attractive mates. I think this speaks to a broader trend of men not being able to meet the traditional expectations of the breadwinner in an increasingly precarious economy.

Men dont really care about the income of their partner, they're more interested in physical attributes. Maybe women have set much higher standards and the majority of men dont meet those standards. Maybe men just dont want to get married?

Google MGTOW to understand some people's theory.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#90

Post by ivan_gammel »

wonderwonder wrote: post #75

My take is that with the rise of social media and online lives, people have things to fill their time with that are a placebo for real relationships. They work, get home and then doom scroll or play games for 4 hours and go to bed. This eats into the time people used to spend socializing and meeting people in real life. The reduction in religion further eats into this as people would socialize at church, temple, etc.…

Have a look at Israel with their incredibly high fertility rate among secular population. They have the same access to social media, games etc. What they also have is a set of family friendly policies, which make it easier for couples to plan their life and their careers. Culture and lifestyle also matters, of course. It will be interesting to see how living in densely populated urban area vs typical American suburbia affects your chances to meet a partner.
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