Live data from Hacker News

A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

pewresearch.org

61–70 of 226 posts

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#61
Getting married while paying my way through college had an unexpected financial benefit for me in the form of federal grant money.

My parents weren't rich, but they had enough that I didn't qualify for the Pell grant. But once married, my parents money didn't count against me. And as a broke college kid, suddenly I did qualify!

It helped me to graduate debt free. (Going to a community college and then a state school, and working the entire time also made a big difference.)

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#62

Mostly just economics, is my wager. In a classic agrarian economy, having a spouse and making children works out -- more children = more hands = more work done = more food or more product to market. In a modern "pure" capitalist industrial/service economy, the economic model doesn't pay for the cost of the reproduction of the labour it depends on. So not a surprise when people do the same cost-benefit analysis for th…

> I personally knew several women in their late 30s and 40s who ended up leaving partners or leaving the dating scene because the men they were finding were not interested in or capable of being fathers. On an aggregate scale this adds up to a phenomenon.

Hmm. I wonder if this flows from divorce in the previous generation. If you didn't have a father (or at least not one who was present), you may not have seen a model of how to be a father. When you grow up, you are less likely to see it as something desirable, and less likely to know how to do it.

To avoid misunderstandings and red herrings, let me make some clarifying comments. Yes, I know that a number of those who left would have been lousy fathers if they stayed - even abusive. And that makes for a lousy model. And yes, I know that many of those without fathers present find others who can model fatherhood to them, and even of those who don't, some of them figure it out on their own. I still think that, on an aggregate scale, the absence of fathers a generation ago at least contributes to this trend today.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#63

In beehives, the drones -- correction, workers -- are sterile. This maximizes returns on capital at quarter and even decade timescales.

> In beehives, the drones are sterile. This maximizes returns on capital at quarter and even decade timescales.

This doesn't make sense. Governments want children and immigrants because they need a tax base to stay in power.

As for businesses, they want employees doing things that project stability, such as getting a mortgage (a lot of companies give off time to close one), getting married, and having children. People who do that don't rock the boat and don't speak up because they have a life outside of work they need to upkeep with their paychecks; so they stay good worker bees.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#64
post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe people are just aiming too high. Sometimes you have to know your limitations and know where you fit. Not everyone is a high achiever and not everyone thought education was going to deliver a better sociology economic potential for them. It’s unfortunate that society today misleads youth in thinking they can make their own reality and that there are shortcuts to success for all. Some are lucky but most are not.…

You see, your thought processes are part of the problem. > misleads youth in thinking they can make their own reality and that there are shortcuts to success for all. Many people, like myself, are not shooting for "success". We just want to live and hang out with our family and friends. That is success. And the economic structure makes that impossible because everyone else has the idea that success means having to fi…

Why does OP's idea of success have any affect on you living out your idea of success? If you want to stay in your town with your family and friends have at it. If OP wants to make $10 million, then more power to him. He will probably provide jobs to support a dozen people living out your version of success. For everyone to work, there have to be people that want to build and achieve great financial wealth because those people drive the economy and provide employment for the rest. Neither life goal choice is better than the other. Each depends on the other.

Your argument regarding the airbnb driving up houses in your area is a valid one but the real issue is a shortage of homes, and the resolution is for someone that wants great financial success to assume risk and build more. Something often forgotten in castigating the rich is that many of them took on a massive amount of risk to succeed and in doing so provided jobs for others.

If the youth are unable to determine what their own version of success looks like then that's on them, you figured out yours, why cant everyone else? Honestly the root cause of your issue is likely globalization, manufacturing and livable blue collar jobs were lost because other countries were willing to do the work for far cheaper. This forced the United States to elevate financial services / software / thought leader style jobs with high salaries concentrated in fewer hands.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#65

Just wait until you see how many of us can't afford houses and will be destitute at 60

marriage makes it possible for some that couldn't afford houses to be able to do so, by pooling resources together.

> marriage makes it possible for some that couldn't afford houses to be able to do so, by pooling resources together.

Marriage is not a requirement for pooling resources.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#66

The chart is just another "wtf happened in 1971" moment. https://wtfhappenedin1971.com/ What happened in 1971? The Nixon Shock, which is when the dollar stopped being convertible to gold after it became evident that the US did not have the gold it claimed to have.

Turns put he is a crook

Nixon made them come clean, they had been printing money they didn’t have gold for long before he came along. After watching the way the establishment and deep state have treated Trump I have become very suspicious about all circumstances surrounding Nixon. I sometimes wonder if (after JFK) they decided to hone their assassination craft to not require bullets.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#67

Mostly just economics, is my wager. In a classic agrarian economy, having a spouse and making children works out -- more children = more hands = more work done = more food or more product to market. In a modern "pure" capitalist industrial/service economy, the economic model doesn't pay for the cost of the reproduction of the labour it depends on. So not a surprise when people do the same cost-benefit analysis for th…

Astute comment.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#68
post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

marriage makes it possible for some that couldn't afford houses to be able to do so, by pooling resources together.

So, what you're saying is that people marry for economic reasons rather than romantic? And when the romantic partnership fails, should people stay together in the economic partnership because they can't afford to split up? That's effectively what we've been doing for the past few decades. And the result is as shown in TFA: a generation of adults who will avoid marriage like the plague, because they've seen how toxic…

Or alternatively, economic conditions are so much better than before that those who would marry for that no longer need to.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#69
post #27

I think marriage is overrated. Just a construct of society. You can have kids with a partner, but really no reason to formalize it with “marriage”. I guess there are tax reasons though that make it more logical though.

There are the obvious legal/political rights and financial privileges that come with it that others are discussing.

But there are also subtle but real and pervasive social & community benefits to it. You are often perceived by default as "established," reliable, trustworthy when you are married, in ways you wouldn't be in an unmarried partnership.

"Just a construct of society?" Sure. So is money. Something being a social construct doesn't mean it's fake, or powerless.

Re: A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married

#70
post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

marriage makes it possible for some that couldn't afford houses to be able to do so, by pooling resources together.

So, what you're saying is that people marry for economic reasons rather than romantic? And when the romantic partnership fails, should people stay together in the economic partnership because they can't afford to split up? That's effectively what we've been doing for the past few decades. And the result is as shown in TFA: a generation of adults who will avoid marriage like the plague, because they've seen how toxic…

[deleted]
Post reply on HN