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Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

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Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#721

Post by prmoustache »

globular-toast wrote: post #686
prmoustache wrote: post #669

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OTOH I was the only male in my daughter's classes whatsapp group for parents. Most fathers seemed to be glad the mother was handling that shit. And I doubt I was the only divorced father with shared custody.

What is a parents' WhatsApp group for?

Well it is useful at primary school when kids don't have phones. If they miss one day of school or didn't record correctly an information from the teacher parents can ask others about homework tasks, missed lessons, etc.

Also the parents delegate can relay useful info from the teacher's as the only one who has direct immediate (without taking an appointment) through that channel. State is maintaining an app/website where teachers can send messages to parents but while some do it correctly, other teachers ignore it completely.

It is also interesting when some parents find out they have an issue with a specific teacher. Like this year one of my daughter had one lazy one and parents expressed their concerns to the delegate and debated on a common message to send to school.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#722

Post by itronitron »

mpweiher wrote: post #688
globular-toast wrote: post #678

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know if this was considered in the film (I haven't seen it), but the difference between how men's and women's issues are treated is quite obvious to me. It's due to an imbalance in the care matrix. If we think broadly about who cares about whom, it goes like this: * Men care about women because they want to mate with them, * Women care about women because it's in their own best interest to look after each oth…

Yep. Gender differences in automatic in-group bias: why do women like women more than men like men? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15491274/

A better title for that would have been ... why do women like more women than men like more men?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#723

Post by omgomgomgomg »

globular-toast wrote: post #678
Khaine wrote: post #470

What's interesting is that I recently watched The Red Pill Documentary. I recall when it was released that the director, Cassie Jaye a self professed feminist was pilloried absolutely everywhere for giving a voice to Mens Rights Activists. The actual documentary is quite milquetoast. What it is, is her engaging with the ideas around how in some ways men are disadvantaged in modern society. It's fascinating to me that…

I don't know if this was considered in the film (I haven't seen it), but the difference between how men's and women's issues are treated is quite obvious to me. It's due to an imbalance in the care matrix. If we think broadly about who cares about whom, it goes like this: * Men care about women because they want to mate with them, * Women care about women because it's in their own best interest to look after each oth…

There is an amazing movie about this, an italian horro comedy, recommended watch in many ways.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#724

Post by alphager »

Khaine wrote: post #485
geff82 wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe, as a culture, we should emphasize MORE the health of the family, of the duty and honor it brings to raise kids and less on the "perfect" romantic relationships of the parents? Shouldn't we promote a less Hollywood-like picture of long lasting relationships? I have the feeling that we are trained too much to think that our "romance" and sex life should last forever. When - in reality - a good relationship trans…

I think as a culture we need to normalise respect for both men and woman. Currently, in society violence against men is acceptable. You see it through articles like this[1] or in tv shows where it's acceptable for a woman to slap a man. Men in ads and tv shows are shown as helpless and clueless without their wives/girlfriends. In modern media, woman are nearly always portrayed positively. Woman are always the 'girlbo…

> Practically, every male space has been feminised.

Can you give some examples? I'm really struggling to understand this point.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#725

Post by boffinAudio »

stared wrote: post #716
boffinAudio wrote: post #692

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eugenics is a vile and repugnant subject to be supporting. Nobody is qualified to state whether another human being should be allowed to live on the basis of 'faults' in their person. It is a totalitarian-authoritarian dogma that must die. EDIT: downvoters showing their roots. Come on, engage in the dialog and defend eugenics ...

[flagged]

Absolutely nonsense.

You are attempting to equivocate heinous racist ideology with 'natural cause'.

EDIT: those defending eugenics without engaging in dialog, by downvoting, are showing their real mettle. Eugenics dogma must die. NONE of you are qualified to make the call.. every single one of you could be qualified for the cull.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#726

Post by itsoktocry »

antigonemerlin wrote: post #479
noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

It's exactly what my father did. He took parenting classes at the library, because he wanted to learn more and didn't think that just because he considered himself successful in business and life, he would necessarily understand pedagogy. To that, I am eternally grateful to him. It's very hard for people to swallow their pride and admit humility, to say "I don't know" and listen to the experts. I have an immense amou…

>to say "I don't know" and listen to the experts

Seeing this repeated in this thread. Who are these "experts"? What makes them "experts"? Is there some kind of track record I can look at?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#727

Post by ianai »

bergerjac wrote: post #455
ineedasername wrote: post #95

This plays out at all levels. I felt extremely insulted just a few days ago when my youngest’s preschool held a gathering to celebrate their “graduation” to pre-school. At least 4 times mothers were called on to step forward— once to have a song sung to them, another to receive a flower, etc. Fathers were not mentioned at all. This prompted me to look around, get a rough sense of the distribution… Counting the kids &…

Did you communicate to the organizer about this? In modern society we're normally conditioned to avoid confrontation, but it's the best way to initiate a proactive solution.

The problem with confrontation is people tend to start acting as if they’re playing a role that they don’t know how to leave. As though they’ve seen in movies and places where two sides get ramped up, confront one another, but there’s usually not an equally powerful resolution to model. It’s just: get angry and be blatant/audacious. Notably in movies violent resolutions are much more common as the ultimate resolution, too, and that doesn’t leave much as a compromise or alternative-so just stay pissed/audacious/etc.

I don’t know if I have a suggestion to OP. One option would be to offer to contribute to buying the flowers next time. That’s a soft way to engage and remind there’s others in the audience not being celebrated. Personally, I’d probably be put off by the whole thing and just let them have their moments. Or bring dark chocolate. Chocolate because theobromine acts a little like a happy “everything’s good” buzz for people and men might tend towards dark chocolate over milk. But bring some milk chocolate too-shows you’re being inclusive.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#728

Post by itronitron »

globular-toast wrote: post #686
prmoustache wrote: post #669

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OTOH I was the only male in my daughter's classes whatsapp group for parents. Most fathers seemed to be glad the mother was handling that shit. And I doubt I was the only divorced father with shared custody.

What is a parents' WhatsApp group for?

To help Meta collect more information on everybody and their children.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#729

Post by LocalH »

boffinAudio wrote: post #692
stared wrote: post #660

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Eugenics is a vile and repugnant subject to be supporting. Nobody is qualified to state whether another human being should be allowed to live on the basis of 'faults' in their person. It is a totalitarian-authoritarian dogma that must die. EDIT: downvoters showing their roots. Come on, engage in the dialog and defend eugenics ...

To pivot the conversation slightly, I presume you would also be against the death penalty?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#730

Post by ClumsyPilot »

orasis wrote: post #606
noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

You don’t learn how to parent, you learn how to live, in a wholehearted way, and you model that for your children. Good parenting is foremost about growing up before your kids do.

> You don’t learn how to parent

Actually I do.

This is exhibit A, not only have they learnt nothing, but will reject every opportunity to learn. Exactly like my Father.

I have a daughter growing up, and every time there is a decision to make, I check what people like this would do, and do the opposite. Or at least make sure to avoid that.

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