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Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

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Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#691

Post by bregma »

screye wrote: post #519
oblio wrote: post #497

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People aren't having enough children. Every extra hurdle is going to reduce the number of people who end up parents. There's 8 billion of us. Reducing the number of (unfit, unwilling, unplanned) parents is a net positive.

Birth rates are plummeting everywhere. I'm with you. We can have fewer people on earth. But, that means 2-ish generations will have to do 2x-the-work per capita while receiving 0.5x the care when they retire. Our social welfare and economic systems are not built to deal with decreasing populations, let alone halving of population every 2 generations. I am approaching 30. I very much feel like the generation that is g…

> Birth rates are plummeting everywhere.

Birth rates are plummeting in many first-world countries but it's skyrocketing in most places.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#692

Post by boffinAudio »

stared wrote: post #660
hadlock wrote: post #446

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The daylight between instituting a parenting license and eugenics is not very much.

[flagged]

Eugenics is a vile and repugnant subject to be supporting.

Nobody is qualified to state whether another human being should be allowed to live on the basis of 'faults' in their person.

It is a totalitarian-authoritarian dogma that must die.

EDIT: downvoters showing their roots. Come on, engage in the dialog and defend eugenics ...

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#693

Post by prepend »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

> However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, detention centers, jails etc.

I think it’s a situation where we can’t stop people from having babies so we don’t even attempt to limit.

There have been attempts to prevent births in “undesirable” populations that people thought weren’t capable of properly raising kids. [0]

But unless we’re going to have a super controlled society with forced birth control and abortion, there’s not a qualification to give birth. And developing nations have really low birth rates so anything to further lower birth rates has some negative societal and economic impact.

That being said, there are many free programs available to parents but they have to reach out to find them. I live in a pretty backwards, relatively speaking, state and there were numerous state, county, charity, and religious programs to help with parenting coaching before and after birth.

It does seem like a good idea to add coaching into the maternal health programs to give more education and support to expecting and new parents.

[0] https://www.npr.org/sections/itsallpolitics/2015/08/14/43208...

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#694

Post by zb3 »

jadamson wrote: post #635
zb3 wrote: post #630

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does that disqualify their problems? I don't get your sentiment.

MensLib is overflowing with the kind of male feminist who will sling around "incel" as an insult for even the most milquetoast of takes. And since the Red Pill documentary (bad name, middling content) was mentioned, I'll also point out that one of the feminists who featured in it was later outed as a sex pest, despite desperately trying to position himself as One of the Good Ones™: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micha…

Ah, apologies, I didn't understand your comment.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#695

Post by ianai »

_xnmw wrote: post #593

OK, this is going to sound extremely controversial, but as a person who lived for many years in three different worlds: 1. The Western world (born/raised/educated in Canada) 2. The Arab world (lived for years in Jordan, have Muslim/Arab roots) 3. Eastern Europe (currently living in Ukraine for many years, now volunteering in the war) My observation is that 1. has an overly effeminate culture and harmfully stifles mas…

I’m reminded of a general trend I heard of from sociology decades ago-societies birthed around plenty of water tend to be more sexually liberal than those from dryer places. The US is somewhat a mix of that while UA seems to have consistent water access.

Are people as glued to social media in EE as they are in the US? Have they had a #metoo movement? How about religious zealots?

Granted, in UA it goes a long way to face your own existence in war to clear the mind of certain topics.

I’m guessing though there’s some event UA has or hasn’t experienced that helps explain the difference-possibly many. US contends with a lot of guilt around the past as something like societal psychological trauma. Guilt and sexual repression are bigger in the US than elsewhere.

Edit-note, the metoo movement had a strong legal component replete with legal, criminal consequences. That would tend to compound the effects, yes?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#696

Post by Natsu »

lapcat wrote: post #407
Natsu wrote: post #389

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It used to be done by promoting marriage and stigmatizing divorce. Now, that has obvious costs for the parents in many cases and certainly isn't always the right approach because of problems like domestic abuse. But the good of the children is part of why past societies have incentivized keeping parents together to care for their children and maybe we've gone a bit too far in the other direction, away from a happier…

> It used to be done by promoting marriage and stigmatizing divorce. Stigmatizing divorce does absolutely nothing to make fathers emotionally invested in their kids. If anything, it can make them resentful of their kids. The article was about how boys need emotional support from their father. A father who is present and married but still demands that his son "man up" and bottle up every problem is of no help.

It's really hard to be emotionally invested when you're totally absent from most of their lives, though. It doesn't work the other way, i.e. it won't fix a bad father, but there are plenty of guys who could do better by literally just showing up.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#697

Post by itronitron »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

I think a society would have better outcomes by teaching young people the consequences to their lives of having children, such as time and financial costs. In one of the classes in my high school, students had to carry around a sack of flour for a week without damaging it.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#698

Post by oblio »

bregma wrote: post #691
screye wrote: post #519

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Birth rates are plummeting everywhere. I'm with you. We can have fewer people on earth. But, that means 2-ish generations will have to do 2x-the-work per capita while receiving 0.5x the care when they retire. Our social welfare and economic systems are not built to deal with decreasing populations, let alone halving of population every 2 generations. I am approaching 30. I very much feel like the generation that is g…

> Birth rates are plummeting everywhere. Birth rates are plummeting in many first-world countries but it's skyrocketing in most places.

Nope. Sky rocketing would mean that the numbers were low previously and are increasing now. Birth rates are still high in a small number of countries but even there they're lower than they were in the 60s.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/Total_Fe...

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#699

Post by trelane »

Der_Einzige wrote: post #572
Mat3777 wrote: post #515

There is a vast overrepresentation of women in education

Most don't know just how bad it is: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/09/young-men-... https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2021/10/08/the-male-... https://www.wsj.com/articles/college-university-fall-higher-... Women are now more dominant in universities today than men were in the 1950-70s There's an article I can't find that specifically documents how douchy fratboys are having the time of their lif…

True, though I think the parent was discussing the dearth of male teachers, not students. E.g. https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2019/02/the-ex...

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#700

Post by jadamson »

Arkhaine_kupo wrote: post #640
snehk wrote: post #528

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> that isn’t centred around blaming women for everything. Without clicking the link, I just know it's gonna be the patriarchy/masculinity, right?

> I just know it's gonna be the patriarchy/masculinity, right? I don't think a single person blames masculinity for mens problems. Did you by any chance hear the word toxic masculinity and assume all masuclinity was under attack because that is not the same? Also, ngl your comment reads like "ohh why am I bleeding, without checking with a doctor I am gonna guess the answer is the knife lodged in my back, right?" Like…

Name a positive masculine trait, something which men tend to have and women tend not to (should go without saying - it's not a "masculine" trait otherwise).

I look forward to your rendition of 4'33".

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