I spent a summer teaching at a high school with separate gender classrooms. One thing that stuck out was that the women were motivated from hearing them out and how they felt first and men were motivated by giving them a challenge. To some extent, society is becoming more effeminate. This is a good thing in giving more opportunity for women, but there seems to be less space for men to grow or learn to be men. The mai…
Society is losing some of the toxic masculinity because women are achieving leadership positions and have legal remedies available to them when men behave inappropriately. Parents are attempting to intervene appropriately.
Besides, the default state of raising a boy in the United States is to abuse the child.
Feelings? Not valid. Keep them to yourself. (This is how I ended up with depression at age 8 when my folks used me as a pawn in their religious dispute while my sisters sat there, oblivious)
Pain? Not real. And even if it is, don't show weakness. (This is how I ended up with a burst appendix during a wilderness hike in the Boy Scouts)
Your role? Provider. If you aren't providing, why are you even breathing? (This is the cause of a lot of breakups)
Everyone knows that these are more or less true. It's something that should resonate with people regardless of their political affiliation. And every bit of it is emotional abuse. None of it is about "being a man or learning to be a man." There's nothing more dehumanizing for a child than to be told that their thoughts and feelings don't matter and that their reason for living is to work until they can't anymore.