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Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

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Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#521

Post by dumpsterdiver »

Doxin wrote: post #484
dumpsterdiver wrote: post #415

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I agree with your take about society, I disagree that boys have less space to be boys. Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. There will never be a shortage of boys who want to throw rocks and jump in mud until their feet get stuck.

> Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. I dunno man. In school it seems that gossiping is more or less accepted where roughhousing is clearly banned. That sure seems to me like the world is trying to repress at least part of "boys will be boys".

If we look around though, boys are still throwing rocks just as they always have. We haven't slowed down. I posit that society's attempt to stifle our roughhousing will play out similarly to the preacher's daughter. Due to the preacher's overbearing influence she embodies everything that he doesn't want her to be.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#522

Post by granshaw »

throwaway2037 wrote: post #410
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #404

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Regardless of the debate on how tough (or not) love should be, the absent fathers issue seems like something concrete and impactful that we should be trying to address. Where would we even start? The only circumstances where we could hope to do anything at all are those where it's either not a problem, or is still only a minor one... if daddy's doing 20 for murder or dealing at the kilo level, are we supposed to le…

It is strange that you immediately went the criminal route. I was thinking more about fathers who work too much, which is most in my world. They spend far less time with their children than their wives, maybe 5x to 10x. My father had a grueling commute as a child that was 90 minutes each way. What a waste. I hardly saw him during the week, then he was exhausted on the weekends. I cringe every time I hear senior (_ALW…

9-5 five days a week is itself too much if the goal is quality time with children

Society itself doesn’t prioritize upbringings of children

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#523

Post by oblio »

WalterBright wrote: post #359
theoldlove wrote: post #280

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was recently wondering about who was typically in the delivery room 50+ years ago. So when I saw my elderly grandmother last week, I asked her whether my grandfather was there when my father was born in the late 50s. She was a little offended by the question (itself interesting), but said it was just her and the medical staff. No other support people. She thought my grandfather was at the hospital, but wasn’t sure.

In the times when I was born, the father waited in the waiting room.

À la Mad Men.

Heck, I had similar expectations a few years ago and then I was set straight about modern reality :-))

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#524

Post by esarbe »

Shared404 wrote: post #507
brigandish wrote: post #492

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

> When you're able to produce a 3rd kind of gamete, or a human that can produce the other kind too or in sequence, then you can change my mind and claim your Nobel prize Many people result a null in this category in this without any medical intervention. Unless you intend to imply that someone is genderless if they produce no gametes? > FYI, intersex is a misnomer because it gives those who don't seem to understand t…

You confuse the concepts of "sex" and "gender".

Sex is defined by the gametes one produces. Female for few large gametes, male for many small gametes. If you don't have the capacity to produce functional gametes, you're asexual.

Gender is the social expression of the set of behaviors typical for a given sex. Your gender does not necessarily have to correspond to your biological sex.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#525

Post by Khaine »

guerrilla wrote: post #520
nicbou wrote: post #513

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That was not my experience. The message was bitterness, and there is a reason their lot is poorly perceived. Try /r/menslib for a healthier discussion that isn’t centred around blaming women for everything.

They mean the message of the movie not the community.

Correct. I am not and have not been involved with any of those communities. I saw the documentary was free on YouTube and was interested in watching it because I recalled the controversy over it.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#526

Post by brandall10 »

93po wrote: post #260

I'm mid 30s now and my childhood is full of instances of me being treated with contempt for being a boy by my teachers and female peers. Like, outright mocking in ways by teachers that in retrospect I would consider nearly traumatic and abusive. Maybe public, unashamed contempt is more recent?

I didn’t experience this in my childhood in the 80s (I’m 47) in Los Angeles.

The only shocking moment I had was taking a Women Studies course in my sophomore year of college… as I felt my childhood lacked this tension, it would be helpful to uncover blind spots. In particular I remember we had a 2 day discussion on the harmful impact of the Cosby Show on society (both race and gender relations) and the other male member of the course piped in with what I felt was a well reasoned comment. He was eviscerated in such a manner that it was apparent our presence was not welcome. I kept my mouth shut the rest of the course. It was certainly educational.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#527

Post by dumpsterdiver »

qball wrote: post #496
Doxin wrote: post #484

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Boys will be boys, no matter what the world does. I dunno man. In school it seems that gossiping is more or less accepted where roughhousing is clearly banned. That sure seems to me like the world is trying to repress at least part of "boys will be boys".

>In school it seems that gossiping is more or less accepted where roughhousing is clearly banned. In its majestic equality, the law prohibits boy and girl alike from engaging in socialization activities overwhelmingly favored by boys.

Well... the school prohibits it. The law actually allows for two combatants to engage in mutually agreed combat as long as they don't kill each other. That's completely legal.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#528

Post by snehk »

nicbou wrote: post #513
Khaine wrote: post #470

What's interesting is that I recently watched The Red Pill Documentary. I recall when it was released that the director, Cassie Jaye a self professed feminist was pilloried absolutely everywhere for giving a voice to Mens Rights Activists. The actual documentary is quite milquetoast. What it is, is her engaging with the ideas around how in some ways men are disadvantaged in modern society. It's fascinating to me that…

That was not my experience. The message was bitterness, and there is a reason their lot is poorly perceived. Try /r/menslib for a healthier discussion that isn’t centred around blaming women for everything.

> that isn’t centred around blaming women for everything.

Without clicking the link, I just know it's gonna be the patriarchy/masculinity, right?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#529

Post by esarbe »

oblio wrote: post #502
afpx wrote: post #473

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It could be that parenting isn’t as much of a factor as growing up poor.

Oh, parenting is absolutely a factor and this can be observed in underdeveloped or developing countries. Kids in families with good parenting, a focus on education, etc are the ones that make it out.

It seems that poverty is much more of a factor than good parenting.

In rich countries, most of the kids "make it out", not just the ones with good parenting.

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