Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

wbur.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

451–460 of 1001 posts

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#451

Post by monkeywork »

hadlock wrote: post #446
noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

The daylight between instituting a parenting license and eugenics is not very much.

that's a hell of a leap - saying take some basic classes (likely not that much unlike how catholic churches require couples classes prior to marrying folks) to understand how to properly care for a child is nothing like eugenics and gene manipulation.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#452

Post by novok »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

High School class?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#453

Post by brigandish »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

[flagged]

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#454

Post by beau_g »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

This already exists if you wish to adopt in the US - just doesn't apply to the other method

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#455

Post by bergerjac »

ineedasername wrote: post #95

This plays out at all levels. I felt extremely insulted just a few days ago when my youngest’s preschool held a gathering to celebrate their “graduation” to pre-school. At least 4 times mothers were called on to step forward— once to have a song sung to them, another to receive a flower, etc. Fathers were not mentioned at all. This prompted me to look around, get a rough sense of the distribution… Counting the kids &…

Did you communicate to the organizer about this?

In modern society we're normally conditioned to avoid confrontation, but it's the best way to initiate a proactive solution.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#456

Post by noname2021 »

beau_g wrote: post #454
noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

This already exists if you wish to adopt in the US - just doesn't apply to the other method

interesting - one way to test the efficacy of something like this might be to compare median outcomes of adopted kids (whose parents went through some parenting education) with that of the non adopted general population (after controlling for other factors).

Now which PhD candidate will bite :)

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#457

Post by yarg »

paulddraper wrote: post #393
PakG1 wrote: post #391

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I think of masculinity, I see positive and negative aspects of it. I also see that tribes tend to zero in on only the positive or negative. I see the same thing happening with femininity. For whatever reason, the people who zero in on the positivity of one tend to zero in on the negativity of the other, at least on social media. I'm not sure why this is.

Tribalism. Black and white. Lack of nuance. Masculinity can be wholesome or toxic. Femininity can be wholesome or toxic. Which one is discussed more, by a literal order of magnitude? [1] [1] https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?geo=US&q=Toxic%20ma...

I think part of the issue is that through our success we erased a lot of the need for the most fundamental male roles.

When it came to handling the things that go bump in the night, a social species with thumbs, a bit of fire and a few sharpened sticks went a hell of a long way.

And after bumping back for long enough, we were the only monsters left standing.

I think that one of the problems with toxic feminity is that it's a quieter and less explosive form of destructive behaviour - but it's very much a real thing.

As a weird little note regarding society's tolerance of the hatred of men, "misandristic" isn't even worth inclusion in the spell checker's dictionary.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#458

Post by mc3301 »

noname2021 wrote: post #444

Here's a thought and I am writing this as I don my kevlar flame retardant jacket. For most things in life where we could impact the lives of other people materially - driving is a good example - we ensure some minimal amount of training before letting people perform that activity. However with parenting we have nothing and the result it seems is we pay with a ton more resources downstream in the way of therapy, deten…

Would you be surprised to learn that there is something similar in Japan? Though not necessarily required, there are "mama papa" classes done by the government with the basics covered. And there are checkups (1 month, 3 months, 6, 1 year, 2, 3) which have some involvement in checking the child's health, wellbeing, development, as well as that of the parent(s).

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#459

Post by dumpsterdiver »

klik99 wrote: post #229
FeistySkink wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a 5:1 male:female suicide rate in my home country. This has been going on for decades. "Temporarily" saying "men suck" doesn't help.

I really hate to be put in the position of looking like I'm minimizing this, because I made the same point in my post that suicide rates are an obvious indicator that there is something wrong here. But just want to point out that this is not a new thing, and I don't think it was caused by people saying "men suck". https://www.statista.com/statistics/187478/death-rate-from-s... But I'm with you in the frustration that…

No, I don't think you've minimized the issue at all. In fact, you've highlighted the fact that men have always struggled with mental health, and if anything we need more support, not people telling us that we should die.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#460

Post by brigandish »

lapcat wrote: post #424
NoMoreNicksLeft wrote: post #416

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Maybe, as a culture, we should emphasize MORE the health of the family, of the duty and honor it brings to raise kids and less on the "perfect" romantic relationships of the parents? That ship has sailed. We live in a culture that not only has doubled down on the idea that the happiness/romance of the marriage is far more important than children, but even tells us that the marriage itself must dissolve when unhappy…

Why would the end of a marriage end the father's emotional investment in and emotional availability to his sons?

It's not entirely his decision as to whether that investment or availability is called upon, there is the ex-wife's decisions, and others (e.g. court) that have bearing.
Post reply on HN