151–160 of 1001 posts
My impression is, men are stuck in a world where they are told not to be men. Toxic masculinity is perhaps a thing, but boys are told endlessly how they shouldn't behave and how their nature is flawed. Girls on the other hand, all is well.
> Girls on the other hand, all is well. Girls, on the other hand, get told their body is flawed. Gotta constantly be on a diet, and spend like an hour a day on beauty stuff. We are all victims of society.
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> majority of the hetero/bi female dating pool selects in favour of features that are often red flags for toxic masculinity This is so insane. Anyone who's been enough a player of the dating game and treed to optimise your strategy known you will end up becoming or (in my case) pretending to be "toxic masculinity" because it work so much more on girls.
Gee, it's almost as if women were biologically programmed to like powerful men and "toxic masculinity" was just an invention to denigrate men for being men.
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There's a 5:1 male:female suicide rate in my home country. This has been going on for decades. "Temporarily" saying "men suck" doesn't help.
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When they cannot defend themselves in all of the social discussion, bargaining, and gossip that is used for control of their lives, the feeling of helplessness can become overwhelming.
And if a confrontation becomes violent, probabilistically the bigger, stronger one will most likely win. In a male-female dynamic where death is the outcome, the origin of the conflict is rarely considered.
In many countries girls and women still need education for reading and written communication. I think in every country boys and men should receive education for emotional self-understanding and communication.
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> majority of the hetero/bi female dating pool selects in favour of features that are often red flags for toxic masculinity This is so insane. Anyone who's been enough a player of the dating game and treed to optimise your strategy known you will end up becoming or (in my case) pretending to be "toxic masculinity" because it work so much more on girls.
Gee, it's almost as if women were biologically programmed to like powerful men and "toxic masculinity" was just an invention to denigrate men for being men.
I saw a meme that summed it up nicely:
“You’re not a gladiator or a spartan warrior who needs war, you’re a middle manager who needs therapy”
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Interestingly, this is a plot point in a very popular Chinese-language sci-fi novel called Death’s End. Humanity is deliberately nudged to take on more feminine qualities to make them a less effective fighting force against a colonizing species. The author had to run his book by the CCP - you get the sense this hints at an accepted strategy in the Chinese mainland. It’s an interesting read.
you need some kind of expertise to feel like you can make even the most basic of professions out of
you need responsibility
you need role models that you can choose and can talk with, and practice having complex and sophisticated conversations with
you need a meritocratic environment
you need physical development, and to embed the need for building physical and mental habits that guide you through your life in a sane and stable way
you need an environment that encourages kindness, hard work, and neither babies nor feminizes you. you need to, specifically, avoid idiotic environments that promote violence as part of the social hierarchy of peers.
Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is? I have no clue what they are talking about. From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.
This sounds like they're not really taking into account boys needs, with the idea that we shouldn't be "gendered" when relating to them. This made me think of Andrew Tate, who is a douchebag, but has a huge following with young men, apparently because he has found a way to appeal to them emotionally. Anyone who is looking at how to push boys in the right direction should look at what appeals to them and meet them whe…
Yet Tate seems to promote strength, power, and confidence as silver bullets for all ones problems -- mixed with a lot of get-rich-quick BS that boils down to "pay me to teach you to selling teaching to others". And this from a guy who got rich pressuring women into camming and taking a huge cut.
Boys and men need nuanced male role models (even modestly flawed), not one dimensional grifters.
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> the absent fathers issue seems like something concrete and impactful that we should be trying to address. Interestingly, only a few years ago, Bill Cosby himself made an impassioned plea to address these issues. He saw it a lot.
Cosby's criminal conviction(s)[1] undermined much of what he championed. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Cosby_sexual_assault_case...
If anything, it makes it even more poignant. Haven't you ever seen a man in prison, pleading with his son not to turn out like him? Does the father's murder conviction undermine his admonition against violence?