Live data from Hacker News

Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

wbur.org

1–10 of 1001 posts

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#2
> many young men don’t seek emotional support when they need it because they fear being perceived as weak and ineffective.

I would be curious to see a study on what happens to those men who do seek it. As in every last case I anecdotally am aware of, that perception quickly became reality and those men regretted it.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#5

> many young men don’t seek emotional support when they need it because they fear being perceived as weak and ineffective. I would be curious to see a study on what happens to those men who do seek it. As in every last case I anecdotally am aware of, that perception quickly became reality and those men regretted it.

Are you saying that (in your experience) young men who seek emotional support become weak and ineffective? Or am I misunderstanding what you've written?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#6
post #5

> many young men don’t seek emotional support when they need it because they fear being perceived as weak and ineffective. I would be curious to see a study on what happens to those men who do seek it. As in every last case I anecdotally am aware of, that perception quickly became reality and those men regretted it.

Are you saying that (in your experience) young men who seek emotional support become weak and ineffective? Or am I misunderstanding what you've written?

> perceived as

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#8

> many young men don’t seek emotional support when they need it because they fear being perceived as weak and ineffective. I would be curious to see a study on what happens to those men who do seek it. As in every last case I anecdotally am aware of, that perception quickly became reality and those men regretted it.

A lot of "problem solving" involving kids means "making the problem go away from the adult's life". E.g. a situation I see played out is kids being told to respond to bullying by acting like they don't care (good advice as far as it goes). If the bullying continues, we hear it isn't a problem because the kids says he doesn't care - which is what we told him to say, true or not. In any case, the problem is solved from the adult's POV - the bullying complaint has disappeared, ticket is moved to resolved. The bullied child now faces his problem alone. Receiving this kind of "support" discourages reaching out for help.

(I'm not saying this is specific to boys, don't read too much into pronouns.)

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#9

Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is? I have no clue what they are talking about. From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.

Emotion support is showing loving, care and/or empathy.

Mentorship and emotional support can have significant overlap.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#10
post #5

> many young men don’t seek emotional support when they need it because they fear being perceived as weak and ineffective. I would be curious to see a study on what happens to those men who do seek it. As in every last case I anecdotally am aware of, that perception quickly became reality and those men regretted it.

Are you saying that (in your experience) young men who seek emotional support become weak and ineffective? Or am I misunderstanding what you've written?

I am saying that young men who are seek emotional support then get treated as and viewed as weak and ineffective by those they have sought support from or those around them who know they have sought support, with all the repercussions of that.

The men are the same, whether they seek emotional support or not. However, seeking emotional support gets them treated very differently verses not seeking it and it is rarely in a compassionate way.

Post reply on HN