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The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

nytimes.com

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Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#31

Post by philwelch »

zheng wrote: post #20

It might only be me, but I'm pretty sure I have the best of both worlds. I live with my wife (no kids), and we're both quirky as hell. When we go out, we act normal, but at home we do whatever we want. I'm very introverted, but comfortable enough with her that it really isn't that different from living alone, as she allows me time when I need it. It's even better though, because if I lived alone I'm pretty sure I wou…

I lived alone for a very long time after roommates became too much of a stressor, and it was pretty cool. Nowadays I live with my girlfriend, and it's quite similar to how you describe it. We end up developing shared quirks or quirky ways of communicating.

Living with someone has weird effects though. I've forgotten how to get or prepare only enough food for one person at a time.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#32

Post by philwelch »

hammock wrote: post #26
DenisM wrote: post #24

One peril of living alone is that it becomes very easy to indulge in self-destructive behaviors with no one to check on you. Eating poorly; sleeping poorly; having too much dust, filth, or random junk around the house; not going outside; not exercising enough; not getting social interacting in the minimal needed amount, obsessing over the wrong aspects of your work.... This sort of things. Not all of these are proble…

One peril of living alone is that it becomes very easy to indulge in self-destructive behaviors with no one to check on you. Eating poorly; sleeping poorly; having too much dust, filth, or random junk around the house; not going outside; not exercising enough; not getting social interacting in the minimal needed amount, obsessing over the wrong aspects of your work.... This sort of things. Although perhaps less likel…

The only time I've had a sink full of dirty dishes complete with rotting food and flies is when I was spitefully waiting for my roommate to clean them up because it was "his turn".

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#33

Post by vinayan3 »

The quirks they pointed in the article seem relatively extreme.

I live with 2 other roommates and I don't seem them much these days because I work at home during the day. I feel so quiet sometimes being at home all alone. It is interesting that I will never know how an introvert feels staying home alone. The opposite is true an introvert will never know how a social person feels staying at home all alone.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#34

Post by waterlesscloud »

vinayan3 wrote: post #33

The quirks they pointed in the article seem relatively extreme. I live with 2 other roommates and I don't seem them much these days because I work at home during the day. I feel so quiet sometimes being at home all alone. It is interesting that I will never know how an introvert feels staying home alone. The opposite is true an introvert will never know how a social person feels staying at home all alone.

Extreme? I sent the article to a friend who has lived alone for many years, as have I, and we laughed about how minor the eccentricities in the article seemed.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#35

Post by Sniffnoy »

jakeonthemove wrote: post #30
Sniffnoy wrote: post #19

This article doesn't seem to strongly distinguish between living with someone else in the same house/apartment/etc and living with someone else in actually the same room . There's a big difference there!

I don't see the difference, though - when I had people living in other rooms of the same apartment, they could've just as well been in my room - I couldn't focus because I'd always imagine someone interrupting me :-)...

You couldn't just close your door, or lock it if it came to that? Though in any case simply having space where one can literally be alone is valuable.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#36

Post by [deleted] »

unimpressive wrote: post #22
pm90 wrote: post #4

I hate to be that person, but I have to ask: what's new that this article is telling me? The main point of the article seems to be that people living alone become eccentric without any "social checks"; that does hold sometimes but not always.

Great question actually. My take on it is that news pieces like this aren't really meant to be "news". One of the primary reasons for reading news articles is to have something to talk about when you talk with people. Pieces that focus on things that are common knowledge pick up traction not because they're breaking stories, but because they let us have dialogues about things that just don't come up in ordinary conve…

[deleted]

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#37

Post by finnw »

philwelch wrote: post #32
hammock wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One peril of living alone is that it becomes very easy to indulge in self-destructive behaviors with no one to check on you. Eating poorly; sleeping poorly; having too much dust, filth, or random junk around the house; not going outside; not exercising enough; not getting social interacting in the minimal needed amount, obsessing over the wrong aspects of your work.... This sort of things. Although perhaps less likel…

The only time I've had a sink full of dirty dishes complete with rotting food and flies is when I was spitefully waiting for my roommate to clean them up because it was "his turn".

You could try going away for 2 weeks.

It won't result in them washing the whole pile, but they will be forced to wash something and realise that it doesn't hurt that much.

There will still be a pile of dirty plates (plus the boxes from the pizzas they ordered for the first week, until they ran out of cash) when you get back, but at least you will see a slight improvement in your roommate's habits.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#38

Post by georgieporgie »

citricsquid wrote: post #16

I live alone (for 15 months so far) and love it and will never live with someone else again (well, until my attitude changes) but one thing I also do is work from home... I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being and when I do it's either a McDonalds server or a pizza delivery guy, this part is turning me insane. I have absolute control over my environment, if I don't like a noise or the heat or a sm…

I felt great when I first got my own apartment. So much freedom! Nobody borrowing and misplacing my tools. None of my food missing from the fridge. Nobody slamming the door at 6am or bringing home a loud groups of strangers at midnight on a Wednesday.

After a few years it got old. I realized I actually really like living with people, I just happened to have been living with selfish assholes. :-)

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#39

Post by sliverstorm »

citricsquid wrote: post #25
sliverstorm wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I often go up to 7 days without seeing another human being This is why I don't live alone.

If you don't work from home this isn't a concern, but yes working from home and living alone and not having friends is a recipe for crazy.

Well, even if you don't work from home, it's a good idea to regularly see people besides your co-workers.

This is, of course, presuming something like a non-customer facing office job. If you work in retail, live by yourself to your heart's content.

Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone

#40

Post by littledude »

finnw wrote: post #37
philwelch wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The only time I've had a sink full of dirty dishes complete with rotting food and flies is when I was spitefully waiting for my roommate to clean them up because it was "his turn".

You could try going away for 2 weeks. It won't result in them washing the whole pile, but they will be forced to wash something and realise that it doesn't hurt that much. There will still be a pile of dirty plates (plus the boxes from the pizzas they ordered for the first week, until they ran out of cash) when you get back, but at least you will see a slight improvement in your roommate's habits.

how about he does all dishes both his and roomates, then figure out other types of chores they can do to balance it out, like mowing lawns and/or grocery shopping. better to focus on results and time spent instead of being right and miserable.
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