The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
nytimes.com
The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
1–10 of 53 posts
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#2The internet is becoming more satasfying than marriage companionship and soon procreation, at least in the minds of the internet generation. When we create the holodeck on star trek, then human companionship will be in real trouble, I can get all the joys, minus the awful parts... Plus the added benefit of pressing pause, edit, augment, delete and start over.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#3I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#4I hate to be that person, but I have to ask: what's new that this article is telling me? The main point of the article seems to be that people living alone become eccentric without any "social checks"; that does hold sometimes but not always.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#5I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
I think that happens if you let it. I know people who are living alone who are still tremendously social, because their default answer when a friend asks “hey, do you want to come out and do X?” is “yes”. That's what makes the difference.
So I think you can be less social and more bored, but you can just as easily use it to become more of those things, by socializing with more people more often instead of a single room mate more often than not. It also depends on what you mean by social. For example, you can probably explore sexual interests more easily if you're living alone.
Basically, you remove any forced social interactions by living alone. You have to build and find them for yourself.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#6The internet is becoming more satasfying than marriage companionship and soon procreation, at least in the minds of the internet generation. When we create the holodeck on star trek, then human companionship will be in real trouble, I can get all the joys, minus the awful parts... Plus the added benefit of pressing pause, edit, augment, delete and start over.
In real trouble... Maybe reduced companionship will be voluntary population control.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#7I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
I think that happens if you let it. I know people who are living alone who are still tremendously social, because their default answer when a friend asks “hey, do you want to come out and do X?” is “yes”. That's what makes the difference. So I think you can be less social and more bored, but you can just as easily use it to become more of those things, by socializing with more people more often instead of a single ro…
I typically become less social when in a relationship. When living alone I'll jump at the chance to go out with friends, but in a relationship it seems far less appealing to go out.
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#8That article both spoke to me and seemed foreign; I've lived alone for all but two years of the last 20 (since high school), and I do "spread out" in many of the ways it describes. But, when I do get to temporarily "live with" someone---when I'm home at my parents' house, when I'm sharing a hotel room at a conference, when I'm visiting friends for a few days---my experience is totally opposite the article. I look forward to having the temporary roommate, I sleep with the door open at my parents', I prefer the living room couch to a tucked-away guest bedroom at my friends' houses, because I like being aware of and part of the bustle of everyone living there.
In contrast, my friends who are married or living together treat those temporary thrown-together situations as maximally distasteful. They want a separate private room, they disdain sharing rooms at conferences unless they have to. When I've asked about it, I'm often given a line about how "when you're older" you want your private time, but many of them aren't that much older than me (and a few are younger), so that's always rung hollow. I wonder if it's just that this is their time to have a "Day of Chad"? ;)
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#9I enjoyed this article. I've lived with other people my whole life and it seems most young people I know live as roommates even into their 30's (if they are not cohabitating with an S.O.) I have had "Days of Chad" though and wonder what it would be like to love totally alone. I personally would just feel less social and more bored.
I've lived alone for almost 4 years now. I don't crave companionship and am perfectly fine with my own thoughts (introvert).
Boredom only sets in if you have nothing interesting to do. My apartment is sparse; no television, empty walls, no game console (asides from 3DS/iPad), no way to entertain people who come over outside of whatever I can display on the computer.
How the hell is that enjoyable? You find the things you like and focus on that. Personally I like to code, workout, and consume stuff on the net. Coding takes up 60% of my waking hours, 20% at the gym, and 20% for everything else. I just really enjoy doing those things. Rarely do I get bored.
I've also lived with siblings when younger, and multiple roommates in college. There are ups and downs to being alone and being with other's. The nice thing about being alone is you're responsible for yourself and nobody else. With roommates, you have to take on extra overhead unless everyone pitches in 100% (rare). A downside of being alone, you have to do "everything" yourself, and can't offload to someone else.
If you're a very social person, or need other's around to talk to and keep you entertained, living alone probably won't work out so well. If you like lots of alone and quiet time, and can entertain yourself, living alone may be something worth trying out.
And for the record, I don't do any of that weird stuff they mention in the NYT piece. ...except for walking around naked sometimes in the morning. That seriously kicks ass. ;)
Re: The Freedom and Perils of Living Alone
#10Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think that happens if you let it. I know people who are living alone who are still tremendously social, because their default answer when a friend asks “hey, do you want to come out and do X?” is “yes”. That's what makes the difference. So I think you can be less social and more bored, but you can just as easily use it to become more of those things, by socializing with more people more often instead of a single ro…
I typically become less social when in a relationship. When living alone I'll jump at the chance to go out with friends, but in a relationship it seems far less appealing to go out.
The question is whether that's less social. Maybe less externally social, but if that's the case it seems like it's because your significant other is fulfilling your need for social interaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really.