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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#291

Post by lcnPylGDnU4H9OF »

KptMarchewa wrote: post #266
dahwolf wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's insulting in the sense that the stoicism of many men is considered unintelligent, primitive, underdeveloped. You can frame it how you want. It can also be projected as a strength (emotional control). Or men simply being less interested in exchanging emotions intensely as it's just not that important to them.

The "emotional control" that causes them to absolutely blow the fuck up? It's not unintelligent, primitive or underdeveloped, it's simply a meme, an idea that some people can even sincerely believe but at the end it's a pure lie.

> blow the fuck up

I would consider the possibility of BPD. This is kind of a hallmark symptom.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disor...

Point being: I’ve known men who are “stoic” in this way and emotionally stable because they don’t otherwise have mental health issues.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#292

Post by jdietrich »

KptMarchewa wrote: post #266
dahwolf wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's insulting in the sense that the stoicism of many men is considered unintelligent, primitive, underdeveloped. You can frame it how you want. It can also be projected as a strength (emotional control). Or men simply being less interested in exchanging emotions intensely as it's just not that important to them.

The "emotional control" that causes them to absolutely blow the fuck up? It's not unintelligent, primitive or underdeveloped, it's simply a meme, an idea that some people can even sincerely believe but at the end it's a pure lie.

Men experience significantly lower rates of most common mental disorders; that gap is wider in younger people, appears to be widening over time and persists after controlling for confounding variables. Men are more likely to die by suicide, but they're drastically less likely to attempt suicide; the discrepancy is accounted for by men choosing more lethal means.

There is simply no evidence to support the idea that women are better at coping with psychological distress, or that men would benefit from adopting stereotypically female coping strategies.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#293

Post by lern_too_spel »

talldatethrow wrote: post #277
majormajor wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you actually offering people romantic paid for tropical getaways early on in dating to try to attract them? And does it work? Cause that sounds more like some kind of old Hollywood romcom cliche than something a lot of women really want to have thrown at them to 'win them' in the past decade. But hey, I haven't tried it!

At the height of tinder, I worked in a sales office. When we wanted a bit of a laugh, we'd troll women by asking if they would go to whatever fancy spot with us, if we paid and gave various amounts of cash as spending money. That was our opener. You'd be shocked at the success rate. Some of the more innocent coworkers thought the girls were trolling us back. So we'd ask for phone numbers, and call them on speaker pho…

Many women on Twitter are looking for casual relationships. News at 11. It's not different with men. If you're looking for a long term relationship, you have to filter out the casuals. The article says that surveys show more women than men are looking for long term relationships, so if that's what you're looking for, you shouldn't have trouble finding it unless your standards are higher than what you can get vs. competitors in the dating market. Being a misogynist will typically count against you, just as being a misandrist would count against women.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#294

Post by peteradio »

michaelbrave wrote: post #268
visihuge wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many of these kinds of articles are always seem to be slanted in how it negatively affects women. Women desiring more successful partners, yet men aren't keeping up. I'd be interested if there was any good article broaching that subject more, instead of remarkably pithy answers like "it's those damn video games."

Honestly it would be hard to touch on without insulting large swaths of society. Just thinking about my own friend and family circle the way a college aged woman is treated is vastly different, even just by parents. For example my sister (22) still lives at home, drives the family car, stepdad pays for her fuel, mom pays for food, is on the family cell plan, has basicaly 0 expenses except wanting to eat out. My broth…

Heh, is she the baby of the family? I am the middle brother and my baby brother certainly had extra perks.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#295

Post by fineIllregister »

keiferski wrote: post #52

I read a book awhile ago called Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth? , which basically argues that cultures which strongly promote traditional values, having children, etc. will evolutionarily outcompete groups that don’t. It made me think that there must be a kind of cycle in human societies, where certain social values (like the ones mentioned in the article) are able to become popular for a short period of time…

This doesn't pass the eye test. If it's true that religious people will outbreed non-religious people, why is religiosity declining?

The simple answer is that religion is not hereditary. Children of religious parents do not necessarily follow their parents' beliefs.

My family is an example. Several children taught that evolution is fake, and none of us agree with our parents. Only one of us have any religious beliefs at all.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#296

Post by peteradio »

UncleMeat wrote: post #272
friend_and_foe wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not really, my expectation is more general. I expect a give and a take, a natural process of finding roles, I expect a partner to do what it takes to keep a household going, you know, a partnership. I expect two people to find their strengths and act accordingly for the benefit of the family. What I think is too common is that any mention of housework has a stigma attached to it for women now and what you wind up wit…

> What I think is too common is that any mention of housework has a stigma attached to it for women now and what you wind up with is a situation where men have to fit the gender role of being a successful breadwinner and still do their own laundry. Yet, when we actually measure things and include both professional work and home labor, women perform more labor than men in relationships.

You didn't measure OPs relationship.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#297

Post by itishappy »

dahwolf wrote: post #260
itishappy wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some people recognize that fact, some don't. Surely that disparity is itself an aspect of emotional intelligence? I'm not sure I follow how that's insulting.

It's insulting in the sense that the stoicism of many men is considered unintelligent, primitive, underdeveloped. You can frame it how you want. It can also be projected as a strength (emotional control). Or men simply being less interested in exchanging emotions intensely as it's just not that important to them.

Emotional intelligence and emotional control are different. They're separate concepts, though I'd bet they correlate a bit.

It's possible to be emotional and out of touch.

It's possible to be stoic and receptive.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#299

Post by archagon »

monksy wrote: post #229
timeagain wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s true I might be biased by hanging with women who hang with gay men. It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well. The kicker for me is how these dynamics ruin the ability for men and women to become friends. Like you say, these wouldn’t be issues in a platonic relationship. But this cloud of expectation looms over any straight-platonic friendship between men and women. Ho…

> It is also true that women perpetuate these dumb stereotypes of masculinity as well. The ones who are complaining that men lack emotional maturity or inteligence are the same ones that will post on 2xc and say: "Am I a bad person for dumping a guy because I saw him crying and I'm no longer attracted to him?"

Actually, they are probably not the same people at all.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#300

Post by bradlys »

MuffinFlavored wrote: post #9
kholdstayr wrote: post #7

Programmers don't have time for love. /s

More like most women don't find men who program interesting/fun. or Most men who program aren't "good with socializing" let alone "good with socializing with women".

Programming is a low status job. You might make 7 figures as an engineer but you’re gonna be dateless because programming is still associated with low status.

Status is very important for most women.

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