Dating, education, and sex ratios
61–70 of 446 posts
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#62Earlier quoted context omitted.
> More like most women don't find men who program interesting/fun. I hear a lot of heterosexual male SW engineers lament this, but I find it not true in practice. We live in a world dominated (and even inundated) by messaging that navigating technology is a recipe for success. It usually pays decently to well. Programmers don't have dating problems from their profession.
The issue is that the personality traits that tend to correlate with good programming and software engineering - logic, reasoning, detachment, analysis, thinking outside the box - don't tend to correlate well with interpersonal and especially romantic interpersonal relationships. In order to be successful in relationships, those types of minds have to consistently and constantly do things they consider completely irr…
Your statement even downplays the negative reception thinkers like these receive when they share their observations. One "tactful" lapse and that first impression is set. It is a serious uphill battle from that point on.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#63I read a book awhile ago called Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth? , which basically argues that cultures which strongly promote traditional values, having children, etc. will evolutionarily outcompete groups that don’t. It made me think that there must be a kind of cycle in human societies, where certain social values (like the ones mentioned in the article) are able to become popular for a short period of time…
> Given how difficult it seems for any genuinely universal cultural movement to take off in the dating space ????? Dating culture is substantially different than a decade ago.
I meant to take off deliberately with the aim of correcting the problem mentioned in the article. Western society seems too self-absorbed to me to ever move past selfish motives at this point.
In other words, some kind of cultural movement that tells people to put their preferences aside “for the good of society” seems like it won’t work anytime soon.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#64Conversations about high income as a factor in attracting women often seem to neglect to mention that it's not enough to have a high income if you don't use it to signal wealth or to provide luxury experiences to women. Telling women you want to put your high income to work in enabling you to retire early but live a modest life and use that freedom to pursue creative pursuits doesn't have the same effect as taking them to the luxury apartment you rent or inviting them to join you on a romantic, paid for, tropical getaway.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#65I mean the research is nice, but I don't think that just a degree is going to up your chances. As someone who is using these apps constantly, I don't have any hope of finding a long term partner on there. I am on pretty much every app, except Tinder (Bumble, Hinge, okcupid, pof and even muzmatch (im south asian)). I have a bachelors, and I make good money. I've been told that I am a decent looking guy and I have quit…
"I am starting to realize that dating apps are broken, if you are looking for a serious relationship" Dating apps are optimized for usage, not success. If you find a serious relationship, you stop using the app (Hopefully). A dating app that helps you find a long term partner has failed to maximize your LTV
I found my spouse on OkCupid but notably it was pre-Match buyout. Maybe try to find some non-Match sites / apps if you're looking for long-term.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#66A very longwinded essay whose obvious conclusion - that values will change in response to circumstances - is entirely missed, presumably to make problematising educated women the tacit point instead.
People learn and change: increasing numbers of women in education now will mean more relationships where expectations have changed in the future. This is likely to mean that, actually, some men with lower incomes than their partners stay at home to look after the kids. It is a natural consequence of an unequal society with greater parity of educational access. That's all.
It might suck for people who can't get over it, but on the whole, it'll improve society no end to see more fathers being full time carers for their children.
In all likelihood, we'll see a change of attitudes so that women will look for different things: domesticity seems the obvious choice. And frankly, it'll be nice to live in a world where doing the dishes is a personal characteristic that someone might value equally with income.
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Not too related to the above, but the measurements of what women value is very likely to be WEIRD - Western, Educated, Industrialised, and the other two I forget. Economists have a hammer, so everything looks like a nail ($).
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#67To speak frankly, what are women doing with all this supposed surplus of education? I don't exactly see turning tides in terms of women beginning to dominate markets or leadership positions because they're starting businesses and startups and taking over boards and middle management positions. Anecdotally, I've seen these single women, they're all waiting until they're past their 20s to find a partner and they expect…
I don't believe women past their 20s are "too late in life" to be seeking a partner. I for one would not want to have a long-term partner with someone below their 20's. They're too young, cannot even go for a casual heart-to-heart over beers/wine, and have no understanding of budgeting, tax analysis, healthcare planning, or any other number of basic adult administration. I'll have to parent them though this, which is…
If she wants kids and she is ~35 then one bad shot means missing out on kids.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#68What I find interesting and I am curious if these conversations can happen anymore. I no longer discuss anything related to gender, relationships, or personal life dynamics with anyone outside of my bubble. I would enjoy the conversation, learning about another's ideas and understanding although despite assurances of maturity and openness conversation ends due to their inflammatory pronouncements. I do not believe id…
You are the general public!
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#69Towards the end, the article posits that the reason men fail to attain higher levels of education is video games. I would be curious to see how the effect of video games stacks up against the effect of the significant support industry established for helping girls succeed in STEM while comparable support for boys is nonexistent.
IMHO it's more likely because the education system from age 5+ is biased against boys and for girls.
Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios
#70I mean the research is nice, but I don't think that just a degree is going to up your chances. As someone who is using these apps constantly, I don't have any hope of finding a long term partner on there. I am on pretty much every app, except Tinder (Bumble, Hinge, okcupid, pof and even muzmatch (im south asian)). I have a bachelors, and I make good money. I've been told that I am a decent looking guy and I have quit…
im south asian
Races tend to date within their own race. Really wish we could see your profile though to see if you're doing anything I perceive as wrong. I've seen guys with your exact description show me their profile and they have only one picture where it looks like they haven't showered in a month.