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In praise of blowing up your life

sashachapin.substack.com

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Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#241

Post by satellite2 »

It seems the only factor the author is encouraging the reader to take into account when deciding to blow up their life is themselves. There is zero altruism or kindness in this advice.

It feels like a very beginning of the 2000 position. The generation that was first allowed to divorce and blow up everything. And it's very good that we got this liberty, much better for everyone involved than the previous status quo. But it's still a failed experiment with a lot of collateral damage and hurt people.

The job of our generation is to find how to build our life in a more stable way, this time with kindness to avoid falling back to the conservative and violent approaches of the past.

So the selfish advice feels really outdated and out of place.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#242

Post by mym1990 »

bombolo wrote: post #205
Xcelerate wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a…

Moving in 2 isn't nearly as much of an adventure as it is doing it alone.

Just not true. It is a different kind of adventure, but certainly can be just as much, or more of one.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#243

Post by sira04 »

scarface_74 wrote: post #234
2b3a51 wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well done you both. Are you documenting/journaling your interactions and experiences in the various cities that you visit with a view to drawing any conclusions? Or just enjoying the ride?

Yes. I have a blog where I started posting six months before we set out on this journey until the present.

Can you link the blog?

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#244

Post by shove »

silversmith wrote: post #89
shove wrote: post #33

I don’t think it really counts as “blowing up your life” if you don’t go through a period (say, longer than a few months) of regret. You need to do enough damage that it hurts without a clear safety net. Otherwise what you did was “moving” or “quitting” or “breaking up”. I mostly agree with the premise though. Pass the dynamite, I think I might be due…

Do you think it feels better on the other end because you are in a better place, or because it finally stops hurting?

I’ve experienced both. We’re ultimately a lot more adaptable than we give ourselves credit for. We adapt to regret that never really went away but fades in terms of not being a point of daily focus. We adapt to the new place and call it “better” even when sometimes it isn’t.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#245

Post by francoismassot »

> Disruptions can work even if you didn’t initiate them yourself. How about a coin toss? Participants in a survey conducted by Steven Levitt who made major life changes they’d been mulling over—proposing marriage, moving—based on the result of a coin toss were much happier, six months out, than those who didn’t.

I'm so skeptical on such a study.. Obtaining solid results on this kind of survey is so hard or even impossible...

I'm happy for this guy but I have no idea if what he says will work for someone else. The only good thing I see in this article is that... it's possible to blow things up for the best, and that's great.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#246

Post by scarface_74 »

satellite2 wrote: post #241

It seems the only factor the author is encouraging the reader to take into account when deciding to blow up their life is themselves. There is zero altruism or kindness in this advice. It feels like a very beginning of the 2000 position. The generation that was first allowed to divorce and blow up everything. And it's very good that we got this liberty, much better for everyone involved than the previous status quo.…

My responsibility is only to myself and my wife. I help out my now grown (step)sons who I love as my own kids because I can. But they weren’t my “responsibility” once they got grown.

My parents are still healthy and self sufficient at 80 and 82. If they weren’t, I would definitely take care of them as the only child.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#247

Post by rocketbop »

bombolo wrote: post #205
Xcelerate wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a…

Moving in 2 isn't nearly as much of an adventure as it is doing it alone.

I spent years having solo adventures only to realize I'd been missing out on shared adventures with a long term partner. With the right person, your adventures can be much bigger, at least for me. Your mileage may vary.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#248

Post by nerdponx »

scarface_74 wrote: post #226
Dowwie wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're paying half your rent to property managers?! Stop this insanity. There is no such thing as a rental pool, unless it's literally a pool that is rented. What service are you using?

It literally is 300-400 units in a resort “hotel” and they rent out your unit as part of a pool of units. They do all of the marketing, replenishment of supplies for the kitchen, maintenance, payments etc. The units are rented out by the night just like a hotel when you aren’t there. But you don’t understand the other part. I’ve done the landlord thing before. I would rather get an anal probe with a cactus than ever…

I stayed in one of these places in Miami FL, but I didn't realize what it was until we arrived. Really interesting model.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#249

Post by diatone »

osullip wrote: post #207
brabel wrote: post #177

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I "blew my life up" twice. Both times I was looking to start over and settle, i.e. grow roots, but in a different place. It failed both times. People are incredibly difficult to accept outsiders within their circle. I did get married, but wife wants no kids :( ... which makes the marriage a little... fragile. Without close family/friends holding me here (I am and feel like a complete stranger here, 10 years on, and m…

Same here. I moved to Australia from London via a 9 year stint in Dublin. The Irish accepted me, despite the English connection. I made some very good friends but now have lost contact with all but one. I moved to Brighton in Melbourne 10 years ago and it's a much harder nut to crack. The people here went to prep, primary, secondary school together. Probably university too. I'm an outsider looking in despite voluntee…

As someone who grew up in the area (mid 20s atm), there is a well known phrase amongst locals (at least my mates), the "Brighton Bubble." Also yes you're spot on about keeping ties through all levels of education, at least in my case. It was funny living in Sydney for a year, and returning to Melbourne, and when dating one of the first questions you'd be asked is what school you went to. At least, that's my experience, with a couple of people.

But it's not all gloom and doom, the closer you get to the CBD the more opportunities for connection open up. More activities to do in general, more people who are new to the city and are less likely to have ossified social circles, more public funding for that kind of thing. Melbourne has a rich variety of cultures and perspectives to immerse yourself in if you can align your life along the same axes that nurture those cultures and perspectives. Out in the burbs, particularly in the Bubble, less so. Doesn't help that Brighton and its surrounds are skewed to preserve the lifestyles of the people who grew up in the area (this is the politest possible way I can describe it). Speaking from experience there are plenty of people who left the insular communities of their youth around here, because they never felt like they belonged, and never looked back.

Also worth remembering the lockdowns didn't help. I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for in terms of social connection but my point is, please keep plugging away.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#250

Post by version_five »

hayst4ck wrote: post #121
monero-xmr wrote: post #56

Alternatively, never blow up your life! Live near your family and lifelong friends, establish hardcore roots with your community, always be surrounded by love. A road less taken by the educated elites, but a happy and fulfilling road nonetheless. The Onion’s take: https://www.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfil...

"One doesn't realize in early life that the price of freedom is loneliness. To be happy one must be tied." ~ CS Lewis I don't know the context of the quote and I know next to nothing about CS Lewis, but having blown my life up at one point and experienced freedom on a level few on this planet could achieve (health, money, time, and will) the quote rang very true for me. I think some people grow up in a community and…

> "Always be surrounded by love..." unless you are gay. Gay, trans, atheist, feminist, brown, an opioid addict, a questioner of authority, or otherwise different.

Questioner of authority doesn't belong on that list. All the others are mainstream things with media and political advocacy behind them. The last is a "denier" or "conspiracy theorist".

30 years ago they all might have belonged together (expect we had less racism), 15 years ago I understand why people clung to the idea, today it doesn't make any sense.

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