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In praise of blowing up your life

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Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#201

Post by flippinburgers »

sergioisidoro wrote: post #171
whitepaint wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "Always be surrounded by love..." unless you are gay. Gay, trans, atheist, feminist, brown, an opioid addict, a questioner of authority, or otherwise different. Or a middle-aged white man. https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/

Comparing the suicide rate of those groups with middle aged white men (adjusted for the population size) is a bit silly. Some sources point to 40% of trans people having attempted suicide, and I don't think 40% of middle aged men have attempted suicide. In absolute numbers the suicide rate among men is an epidemic, but it's not fair to equate the two populations...

Uh. Ok so one groups rate of successful suicide is more important than the others. Gotcha. At least we can agree that it is an epidemic among white middle aged men.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#202

Post by benjaminwootton »

Dowwie wrote: post #181
scarface_74 wrote: post #112

I’ve mentioned the last year of my life on HN where my wife and I decided to get rid of everything we own that wouldn’t fit in four suitcases including our cars and we became “hybrid digital nomads”. We fly to different cities across the US and stay in midrange extended stay hotels and stay in our own “Condotel”[1] the other six months in Florida. What I haven’t talked about is what got us to this point. I grew up in…

You're paying half your rent to property managers?! Stop this insanity. There is no such thing as a rental pool, unless it's literally a pool that is rented. What service are you using?

I noticed that. 5-10% management fees / commission is normal even for holiday rentals.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#203

Post by SamoyedFurFluff »

max68 wrote: post #197
hcks wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the same time it’s hard to understand something before you experienced it yourself. Something like a limitation of written communication.

It seems fairly straightforward and real wisdom is learning from others mistakes

I think this is fairly myopic. Surely you’ve experienced firsthand someone telling you something, you not “getting it” or believing them, only to be like “oh shit this person was totally right” later on? Or maybe you can like, imagine that this is a fairly normal interaction other people have?

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#204

Post by flippinburgers »

monero-xmr wrote: post #56

Alternatively, never blow up your life! Live near your family and lifelong friends, establish hardcore roots with your community, always be surrounded by love. A road less taken by the educated elites, but a happy and fulfilling road nonetheless. The Onion’s take: https://www.theonion.com/unambitious-loser-with-happy-fulfil...

I have to agree. For those people who have loving families that they can work with - realizing that EVERYONE has differences of opinion - staying near family is the single best thing you can do. You can have kids. Those kids can be around your parents and siblings and other relatives. Honestly it is true living. All else gravitates towards being too self centered.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#205

Post by bombolo »

Xcelerate wrote: post #105
jrumbut wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like this author believes in going really big. They didn't move cities, they moved continents. They didn't date and break up, they married and divorced. I think there is something to be said for getting some big experiences. Moving from Pittsburgh to Cleveland might be a waste of energy. Moving from Pittsburgh to Paris is a guaranteed adventure. I don't know if I agree or not, but it is interesting to think…

It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a…

Moving in 2 isn't nearly as much of an adventure as it is doing it alone.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#206

Post by Glawen »

varjag wrote: post #137

As someone who is getting older, I have this to say: don't take a life advice from a 20-something, no matter how well meaning they are.

Wise advice, listen to this :)

Reminds me of a colleague in her 20s giving advices on how to raise children, without having on her own. I promptly put her on my ignore list.

Parenting advices are the worst type, I never listen to them. Each family and child is different, you cannot attribute any result to anything, and we all have differing values.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#207

Post by osullip »

brabel wrote: post #177
debok wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While it might be hard to grow roots, it is not impossible. IMO, you should start doing serious work on growing roots when you are in your late 20s. Growing roots include: - Getting married - Having kids - Settling down to live in one place - Finding out how you can participate in the local community, and the actively participate You will find that people are remarkably open to people who willingly contribute to othe…

I "blew my life up" twice. Both times I was looking to start over and settle, i.e. grow roots, but in a different place. It failed both times. People are incredibly difficult to accept outsiders within their circle. I did get married, but wife wants no kids :( ... which makes the marriage a little... fragile. Without close family/friends holding me here (I am and feel like a complete stranger here, 10 years on, and m…

Same here. I moved to Australia from London via a 9 year stint in Dublin.

The Irish accepted me, despite the English connection. I made some very good friends but now have lost contact with all but one.

I moved to Brighton in Melbourne 10 years ago and it's a much harder nut to crack. The people here went to prep, primary, secondary school together. Probably university too. I'm an outsider looking in despite volunteering and doing all the rest.

"Blowing up" and moving back to the UK or Ireland is tempting but I would need to start it all again.

I think I'll stay. Maybe I'll crack these nuts one day and have roots.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#208

Post by matwood »

max68 wrote: post #197
hcks wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the same time it’s hard to understand something before you experienced it yourself. Something like a limitation of written communication.

It seems fairly straightforward and real wisdom is learning from others mistakes

It depends. Nothing teaches better than failure. Of course I don't need to try heroin to know it's bad, but there are many other things that are worth trying and learning from.

To tie it to HN, the vast majority of new companies fail. Wisdom would say don't waste time on a new company, yet many of us do just that.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#209

Post by wincy »

Xcelerate wrote: post #105
jrumbut wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like this author believes in going really big. They didn't move cities, they moved continents. They didn't date and break up, they married and divorced. I think there is something to be said for getting some big experiences. Moving from Pittsburgh to Cleveland might be a waste of energy. Moving from Pittsburgh to Paris is a guaranteed adventure. I don't know if I agree or not, but it is interesting to think…

It’s interesting that a lot of people don’t like big changes, because I’m generally the exact opposite. If I haven’t had a big change in a few years, I start feeling really anxious—like I’m letting life pass me by. Most people crave constancy and routine; I seem to crave novelty and adventure. To your example, I moved from North Carolina to Paris when I was 3, and ever since then have wanted to go more places. It’s a…

I think maybe it has to do with self confidence, or childhood trauma? I had a very unstable childhood and things quite often didn’t “just work out”. Adults in my life literally got stabbed and died when “interesting” new things happened. “Hi nice to meet you”, “oh he’s dead now”. “Time to go live in the women’s shelter! Hey now we live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere!” Change was scary and often not for the better. Major change was what you happened when you crawled out the window to escape dad beating mom every night.

I feel I stumbled into the stability I have and want to do everything I can to hang on to it. It doesn’t feel like something I should expect, but something I’m extraordinarily lucky to have. Moving or any other big shake up feels like a very real potential to invite chaos back into my life and destroy the small oasis of calm with my family I’ve spent years building.

Re: In praise of blowing up your life

#210

Post by hutzlibu »

varjag wrote: post #137

As someone who is getting older, I have this to say: don't take a life advice from a 20-something, no matter how well meaning they are.

Rather stick with old bitter people, who regret not being young anymore?

Personally I can find wisdom in 2 year olds babbling, as well as 90 years old. It depends on the person and time.

I discovered, that you can learn something from any person (even if it is, how not to do things). And age is not the determining factor.

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