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Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

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Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#1

Post by gidor »

I think I might be suffering from burnout.

I experienced stress many times during my career. First in grad school, then at work. Every time after some rest my natural curiosity returned, I wanted to learn something new, and start over on a new project.

This time is different. Just before covid I moved to a country where I don't speak the language. The unexpected isolation during lockdowns was very tough on me. I got some bad rating during performance reviews and worked extra hard to recover (it's been over a year since this happened). I also had a drinking problem, which got much worse during covid, but I have been sober for a few months already.

All my interest in work is lost and it's not coming back despite almost 3 months of rest. I work onsite, but my team is remote, which makes it hard to develop any friendships at work.

Do you have any advice how to proceed in this situation? The main issue is that long rest is not helping. If it matters, I'm almost 40.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#2

Post by natecruft »

What do you mean by “rest”? Recovery requires processing the cognitive/emotional complexities that cause the burnout. Sometimes some improvement happens intuitively: you avoid the problem for a while, aka rest or holiday or sabbatical, re-discover the core interest(s), and re-approach the old situation from a new perspective. That usually leaves some old, irrational aversions lingering around, but it shows the healthy pattern: find your safety and build from there. Social isolation is a deeper, more profound frustration than professional struggles, so this time will be harder and deeper, but therefore more formative once you reach the other side. This is the realm of religiosity, not mere psychology; not that I recommend looking for a religious answer, but that I suggest you give the problem that degree of respect, contemplative optimism, and patience.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#3

Post by GianFabien »

Burnout due to different sources needs different fixes.

I get the impression that you are struggling with isolation. Not speaking the language is a huge barrier to everyday interactions. Although you work onsite, your team is remote, which in effect is the same as you still working remote too.

Maybe this suggestion comes too late, but you could have taken a holiday back home. Reconnecting with what is familiar can ease hidden anxieties. Another factor might be that you are still having withdrawal effects from having stopped drinking.

Maybe a thorough medical check-up is needed to confirm that you haven't got some sort of underlying cause for your condition. Diet and exercise are other things to consider as well.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#4

Post by menshiki »

> I work onsite, but my team is remote, which makes it hard to develop any friendships at work.

I think this may be the core issue. You are in a new country with what it seems like not many opportunities to develop deeper connections. To me your conditions sounds more like adjustment disorder.

I was in a similar situation like you before and focusing on developing deep emotional connections with people around me helped tremendously. It's hard to be productive at work when there is little balance in one's personal life.

Also, do you actually like your job? What is your goal when it comes to this position? Would you be a happier person if you did something different? These are the question that you may consider.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#5

Post by gidor »

menshiki wrote: post #4

> I work onsite, but my team is remote, which makes it hard to develop any friendships at work. I think this may be the core issue. You are in a new country with what it seems like not many opportunities to develop deeper connections. To me your conditions sounds more like adjustment disorder. I was in a similar situation like you before and focusing on developing deep emotional connections with people around me help…

After the experience I had at my job, I don't like it any more. Objectively speaking though, it's quite an interesting and pays really well (that's what made me stay). I don't have any goals in my career.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#6

Post by GartzenDeHaes »

I'd don't have an answer, but FWIW here's a few points from my own experience:

0. You can't force your brain to re-engage and the harder you try the worse it gets.

1. Good job staying sober. To me, drinking seemed to make the burnout worse.

2. Move your body to change your mind. Exercise seems to help. I took up cycling and it helps to get my mind and body engaged an activity that doesn't involve intense concentration or a computer.

Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#7

Post by gidor »

GianFabien wrote: post #3

Burnout due to different sources needs different fixes . I get the impression that you are struggling with isolation. Not speaking the language is a huge barrier to everyday interactions. Although you work onsite, your team is remote, which in effect is the same as you still working remote too. Maybe this suggestion comes too late, but you could have taken a holiday back home. Reconnecting with what is familiar can e…

I spent over a month with my family recently and it hasn't helped this time.

I don't think withdrawal is an issue. I drastically cut down my drinking 9 months ago and since 4 months I'm 100% sober. Frankly, I expected more from sobriety.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#8

Post by popularonion »

I’m about the same age and my situation feels similar to yours in many ways.

I was working remote and lost my job 3 months ago. I have very little desire to go back to work and I fully intend to take the rest of the year off.

It seems like some of my colleagues who got laid off are in the same boat, treating 2023 as a semi-retirement year and not really looking for a job.

I think your gut feeling is right and you went back to work too soon. Nobody here can tell you exactly what to do next, because that completely depends on how much money you have and so many other things.

Re: Ask HN: Rest Doesn't Help with Burnout

#10

Post by perceptronas »

Have you considered changing jobs? Bad performance reviews 'never' go away. You also probably view your work negatively as it caused you to crunch for extended amount of time. By changing workplace you could also potentially open yourself to possibility of developing new friendships at work. Also, urgency feeling from changing work could revive some interest in work.

Whatever you do, good luck.

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