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What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

theatlantic.com

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Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#21

Post by hef19898 »

2-718-281-828 wrote: post #19
hef19898 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So far I lost more friends in my life than spouses, but I get your point. If it ever comes to that, I at least hope any break will be more or less amicable. No huge interest in finding out so!

losing friends is in my experience a somewhat dynamic and historically plausible process while break ups turn a switch in a woman's brain. i know this won't fare well with many folks to put it that way - but men don't have that switch. a woman turns from one minute to the other into someone else the moment the relationship is over and the only thing you have left to hope for is that this someone isn't going to be you…

So, you think only women have difficulties with break ups? Men don't? What are we, emotionless rocks or ice cubes?

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#23

Post by dash2 »

As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail, there is a constant demand for cope. What if we learned to love being single? What if we substitute friendship for marriage? 64 ways to enjoy retirement on your own! This is the collective version of listening to an alcoholic explain why he doesn't have a problem.

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#24

Post by abosherid »

gjsman-1000 wrote: post #9
ragnot wrote: post #6

Honestly, if my wife said I wasn't the number one person in her life then I would find that pretty disrespectful. She is my number one after all. It seems like we've failed a whole generation of adults with good examples of what a relationship should be like.

I grew up in a religion where I am expected to love my wife to the point of torture and execution if it would protect her from harm (or at least, that’s the ideal). I doubt any “platonic life-partner”…

May I ask what religion?

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#25

Post by qwerty456127 »

delfinom wrote: post #2

Do I come from an alien universe where people in committed relationships still have friends?

How do you have time for friends besides your spouse after you do jour job, chores, fitness, sleping, education, side projects and random tasks which emerge every now and then? I do have some great friends but only meet them a couple of times a week even though they live very close to me.

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#26

Post by lotsofpulp »

2-718-281-828 wrote: post #19
hef19898 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So far I lost more friends in my life than spouses, but I get your point. If it ever comes to that, I at least hope any break will be more or less amicable. No huge interest in finding out so!

losing friends is in my experience a somewhat dynamic and historically plausible process while break ups turn a switch in a woman's brain. i know this won't fare well with many folks to put it that way - but men don't have that switch. a woman turns from one minute to the other into someone else the moment the relationship is over and the only thing you have left to hope for is that this someone isn't going to be you…

How many data points are you using to come to this conclusion about “men” and “women”?

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#27

Post by XorNot »

dash2 wrote: post #23

As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail, there is a constant demand for cope. What if we learned to love being single? What if we substitute friendship for marriage? 64 ways to enjoy retirement on your own! This is the collective version of listening to an alcoholic explain why he doesn't have a problem.

How exactly is "marriage" failing?

This notion that two people being in a long term relationship can somehow suffer systemic failure or attack is bizzare.

No objection re: children though. We've done an absolute number there via cost of living.

Re: What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?

#30

Post by dangwhy »

dash2 wrote: post #23

As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail, there is a constant demand for cope. What if we learned to love being single? What if we substitute friendship for marriage? 64 ways to enjoy retirement on your own! This is the collective version of listening to an alcoholic explain why he doesn't have a problem.

maybe they are failing for good reason? I am in split worlds of being from traditional society and adopting a western outlook. I constantly feel the push and pull between both worlds.
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