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Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

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Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#501

Post by firstplacelast »

lynx23 wrote: post #64

Reading the comments, I notice a lot of posters seek out tech communities. While I get why a nerd would want to do that, I have a different tendency. Most of my outside-of-work activities are actually not tech related. Sure, I have a bunch of private projects to work on, but I usually do that in single player mode. I picked up a number of "also working in tech" friends over time, and going out with them is still fun…

I’m not in SF, so maybe easier for me, but most of my good friends are outside of my industry.

On one hand, it might remove opportunities for networking/progression. On the other hand, I want to get out of my work-self when I’m off the clock and this is better.

I don’t want to talk about work when I’m not at work and although work topics still come up with non-tech folks, it’s easier to not end up in a deluge of techy stuff. And it’s often way more interesting to talk about work when someone is not doing anything closely related to my career (at least for me).

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#502

Post by laratied »

dustincoates wrote: post #449
nl wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

100% climbing. I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies. It's hard to have an ego when just about everyone gets outclimbed by 12yo girls, and the best climber in the world looks like someone who got fired from a big tech company because he looked too geeky: http://www.alpinist.com/doc/web16f/newswire-ond…

> I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies. You know, people say this a lot about "typical" weight lifting focused gyms, but I've found nothing but the opposite. There are certainly some people who are in there that are judgy (the are everywhere) but the vast majority are either there to do their workout…

Totally agree. I think this is just the insecurity of the person who thinks this.

If you go to the same gym you are already in-grouped. It is the insecurity of the new person who would think they are out-grouped.

Meatheads love new lifters. No one showed up at their first gym 230lbs and ripped. Even the biggest guy in the gym can relate to being the intimidated new lifter.

The only difference I would think between a gym with weights and a climbing gym is that the people at the climbing gym look less intimidating.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#503

Post by Cthulhu_ »

lynx23 wrote: post #64

Reading the comments, I notice a lot of posters seek out tech communities. While I get why a nerd would want to do that, I have a different tendency. Most of my outside-of-work activities are actually not tech related. Sure, I have a bunch of private projects to work on, but I usually do that in single player mode. I picked up a number of "also working in tech" friends over time, and going out with them is still fun…

I find that sticking with nerdy hobbies, at least where I live, also keeps you in awkward male dominated spaces; MTG, Warhammer, hacker spaces, arcade/video game things, all men.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#504

Post by kwanbix »

silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

Imagine doing that on a city such as NY.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#505

Post by mattbrewsbytes »

swat535 wrote: post #229
andreynering wrote: post #3

The church is like a second family for me. I made so many great friends there! Of course it will not be for everyone, but if you are open to it you can try.

Yes, I'm a practicing Catholic and attend Church often with my fiancee. Everyone is welcome to even attend Mass (they just don't receive communion) and participate in activities that we organize. We also have many support groups for elderly, grieving families, young adults and so on. Additionally, if you want to do volunteer work, contact the closest Catholic Church. You can join pretty much all of the events regardl…

The issue I have with churches, specifically Catholic and other large ones, is belonging to and participating in an organization that has collectively done so many bad things to humans just doesn't sit well with me. Then there's the element of collecting money and hoarding it and its a huge turn off.

You may say "the doors are open" and in fact they may be in your local church but official membership has requirements, rules to follow and some larger churches also are very much opposed to equality for all humans. I don't believe the Catholic church (or other denominations of Christianity, or Mormon church) would allow a LGBT couple to officially join.

I understand that yours and others experiences don't reflect the entirety of ~1700 years of the organized state religion of the Roman Empire. When we're talking about finding community outside of work, I find large churches will have a facade of community but in practice are not as welcoming to all.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#507

Post by grvdrm »

dustincoates wrote: post #449
nl wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

100% climbing. I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies. It's hard to have an ego when just about everyone gets outclimbed by 12yo girls, and the best climber in the world looks like someone who got fired from a big tech company because he looked too geeky: http://www.alpinist.com/doc/web16f/newswire-ond…

> I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies. You know, people say this a lot about "typical" weight lifting focused gyms, but I've found nothing but the opposite. There are certainly some people who are in there that are judgy (the are everywhere) but the vast majority are either there to do their workout…

Completely agree. I lift regularly and do not look like a typical gym junkie but have found most people are very friendly - even in NY (burbs) where you expect a certain get out of my face attitude.

Also - weight training is also a highly technical problem-oriented discipline. You can do it for years and still not have things working the right way. The techniques are evolving as well. So - lots of problem solving and discovery.

FYI - one of my favorite sites of all time and certainly the technical view on things: exrx.net

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#508

Post by grvdrm »

laratied wrote: post #502
dustincoates wrote: post #449

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies. You know, people say this a lot about "typical" weight lifting focused gyms, but I've found nothing but the opposite. There are certainly some people who are in there that are judgy (the are everywhere) but the vast majority are either there to do their workout…

Totally agree. I think this is just the insecurity of the person who thinks this. If you go to the same gym you are already in-grouped. It is the insecurity of the new person who would think they are out-grouped. Meatheads love new lifters. No one showed up at their first gym 230lbs and ripped. Even the biggest guy in the gym can relate to being the intimidated new lifter. The only difference I would think between a…

Love it - yes. You have to remember that everyone started somewhere. It took time and lots of work!

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#510

Post by slothtrop »

zdragnar wrote: post #352
slothtrop wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I expect sect/denomination has an influence here because my experiences in the past were strictly familial, no one made friends there though there are familiar faces. Once service is over, it was Sunday brunch with family. At any rate, potential friendship is a weak rationalization for joining a religion when there are many avenues to do this.

Imagine going to a movie theater, watching a movie, then leaving and not talking to anyone afterwards. Naturally, that is a terrible way to engage in the movie enthusiast community. On the other hand, if you spend time with some people, go and watch the movie together, and talk afterwards, it'll feel a whole lot more impactful and you'll find the shared experience fosters a sense of community if you do it on a regula…

> Imagine going to a movie theater, watching a movie, then leaving and not talking to anyone afterwards

Uh, I don't know about you but I've never known anyone leaving a theater try to solicit strangers for conversation. You talk to the people you arrived with.

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