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Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

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Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#301

Post by apsurd »

nostromo wrote: post #210
silisili wrote: post #88

My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…

I'm prepared for this to be an unpopular opinion, but I'm glad my neighbors don't do this. I know my neighbors well enough. We check each other's mail when they're away and will help out in other ways. But I have lots of friends to keep up with outside of my neighborhood -- people I have a lot in common with -- my neighbors, not so much. If they wanted to talk with me each time I saw them coming or going, I would lik…

it's a little dramatic to say it's an unpopular opinion for you to not want to exchange deep hour-long life stories with your neighbor every interaction. of course!

i'm replying because the fact you mention "i know my neighbors well enough" is already the ideal that OP is speaking on. in todays world you can literally not acknowledge your neighbor's existence in all directions and get along 100% just fine. i mean, "borrowing sugar" is why instacart exists!

no no no, you're already doing lovely and agreeing with OP that neighbors, as real human people to honor as existing, is a good thing.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#302

Post by nl »

juujian wrote: post #291
donnfelker wrote: post #160

A fitness community. This could be either a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) place or even a CrossFit gym. I've done both and while I'm not here to promote CrossFit, I am here to say that a group fitness class is awesome for meeting other people and finding a community of people that do something similar as you, but have absolutely nothing to do with your work. I workout with Police officers, Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, Sta…

Yup. I joined a climbing gym. Hanging out with a lot of people both older and younger than you is refreshing. Not much shared misery though when it comes to climbing, always had a blast.

100% climbing.

I think that - unlike many gyms and other fitness communities - it's very welcoming to non-conformistist and people who don't look like typical gym junkies.

It's hard to have an ego when just about everyone gets outclimbed by 12yo girls, and the best climber in the world looks like someone who got fired from a big tech company because he looked too geeky: http://www.alpinist.com/doc/web16f/newswire-ondra-dawn-wall (and I love that even he failed to replicate Lynn Hill's "free climb The Nose in 24 hours" - apparently even Ondra needs to practice Changing Corners).

Also, bouldering in particular is such an intellectual pursuit. It's problem solving under physical pressure, and forces you to think hard about the geometry of your body and how weight works etc.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#303

Post by tsumnia »

donnfelker wrote: post #160

A fitness community. This could be either a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) place or even a CrossFit gym. I've done both and while I'm not here to promote CrossFit, I am here to say that a group fitness class is awesome for meeting other people and finding a community of people that do something similar as you, but have absolutely nothing to do with your work. I workout with Police officers, Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, Sta…

> There's something about "shared misery" that brings people together and builds a comrade. That turns into a community where you start to hang out with them out of the gym/etc.

Agreed; my outside work community IS my martial arts community. There are the brief moments while waiting that you end up chatting with your partners. Eventually you learn what they do, if they have kids, etc. and since you see them weekly you often times get to share their experiences. When I was in college, it was pretty regular to ask the other people what they were up to that weekend. Next thing you know, you're grabbing food, going out for beers, seeing Marvel movies (personal experience there), or other things.

The shared misery scares people away, but you end up becoming invested in your partners' progress as well. When new students join you also get to serve as a peer mentor because just 6 months ago YOU were in their shoes.

As a counter argument I recently heard, some people dislike the hierarchal structure of martial arts. I can understand, but at least from my experience I enjoy it.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#304

Post by baud147258 »

This year I've joined a troupe (with a groupe of amateurs/hobbyists but led by professional director, choreographer and musical directors), to prepare and play a musical (done the first two performances, we've got three more in two weeks). As someone who wasn't really good at singing and dancing, some parts were challenging, but it was really rewarding. I also helped a little with the sets and costumes, so it was interesting to see that side of the stage. And despite a somewhat heterogenous group, the atmosphere's been great

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#306

Post by alsobrsp »

My wife and I moved aboard a sailboat in 2012, we made more new friends over the next 2 years that we were in and out of St Augustine than we had made in a long time. That community was so welcoming that years after we left the boat we moved there and it is our permanent home. There are sailing communities like this all over the US east coast and Caribbean.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#307

Post by fbrncci »

sgt wrote: post #56
NickC25 wrote: post #53

I live in a very transient city with very little tech industry, which also happens to be a city where half the population leaves every April/May through October/November. Community has been hard, especially meeting new folks. There have been a few community tech events that have come and gone, and I've been lucky enough to meet a few friends through that. I joined a gym 4 years ago, and a lot of my friends now I've m…

I can't imagine anything worse than going to the gym. What do you do there? Walk on a treadmill like a mouse in a laboratory? Also, you come back starving because you've burned calories, probably eating way more than you should due to being famished. And it's also extremely boring. I've tried it once or twice, but I just can't handle it. Genuinely interested in how some people manage to consistently keep going to the…

I work out somewhat between 9-12 hours per week consistently (weights, yoga, running, muay-thai). It also makes me feel quick(er), more energetic and relaxed. Of course there is a physical aspect to it as well, I look great. And a mental and cognitive one too. Knowing that I can push through quite some physical strain, makes me realize that the mental strains, stressors and problems I face on a daily basis aren't all that different. What keeps me going is seeing the benefits accrue over time, but it also was hard for me to get started ... but all did start with a tiny habit 10 years ago, you don't have to go all out on a routine in a gym, or boring yourself to death with something you don't like. There are enough options.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#308

Post by analog31 »

cgs wrote: post #300

Folk music. I've been playing Irish traditional music as a hobby for years and it has always been an excellent gateway to making friends with like-minded people. Pursuing a hobby seriously and finding others who are also into said hobby is a great way to make meaningful connections with others.

For me it's jazz, but similar deal. Actually, I like the fact that jazz musicians come from all walks of life: Professional, working class, even homeless. And that they don't give a rat's ass about the drama of my day job, so I can leave it at the door.

Lately I've been going to "old time" fiddle jams (with my cello or double bass). It's a super chill community, welcoming of strangers, with a rich heritage to learn from even if it seems superficially simplistic.

Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?

#309

Post by gedy »

Zetice wrote: post #266
gedy wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Eh, it's genuine as long as you subscribe to their set of beliefs. This may not be a problem for you, but for folks who care about reality, it could be more difficult. Sounds like any friend/social group that has strong political beliefs too? Was enlightening to see this in 2016 when I shared I didn't vote for Hillary. Heaven forbid I voted libertarian, was like having a scarlet letter on my chest.

Not related, as politics are a disagreement about forms of reality. Religion necessitates you believe in something beyond reality. Also good for your friends, they were right.

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