My strong recommendation is to find an activity you genuinely enjoy. From personal experience if I go to a meet-up with the mindset that I'm only there to make friends I won't have any fun, I won't go back enough time that there's a chance that I'll actually form a connection.
Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
101–110 of 585 posts
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#102I live in Seattle, Cap Hill. Before I moved here and when I first moved here (from London) people told me that Seattle was a terrible place to make friends and build a community. My experience has been exactly the opposite; this has been the best place I've ever lived for making friends and building community, especially as a sober person.
The order of importance, I have found community here in:
- Swing dancing, both classes and going to shows with live jazz bands to dance (I was never a dancer before moving here)
- Lifting (there are great locally owned gyms in this neighborhood)
- Getting to know people who own or work at local businesses
- People who have similar tech interests, that I meet from a mixture of the previous 3 places
Finally, and I think this is a really important thing to do, I try to organize events, either in my home or in any one of the local parks in the summer, where friends I've made in different parts of my life all get together and also get to know each other
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#103I live in a very transient city with very little tech industry, which also happens to be a city where half the population leaves every April/May through October/November. Community has been hard, especially meeting new folks. There have been a few community tech events that have come and gone, and I've been lucky enough to meet a few friends through that. I joined a gym 4 years ago, and a lot of my friends now I've m…
I can't imagine anything worse than going to the gym. What do you do there? Walk on a treadmill like a mouse in a laboratory? Also, you come back starving because you've burned calories, probably eating way more than you should due to being famished. And it's also extremely boring. I've tried it once or twice, but I just can't handle it. Genuinely interested in how some people manage to consistently keep going to the…
Regular gym goer for 20+ years here. It eventually becomes difficult not going to the gym, on days I can’t exercise I feel restless, like a dog that hasn’t gone out for his walk.
Food, I eat between 4K and 5k calories per day and I’m close to 10% body fat. I love eating.
Re: boring. Lift heavy, it’s supposed to be challenging. It should require focus and concentration. Don’t use machines, those are boring.
I would never go if it were exclusively for aesthetic, strength, or health benefits. For me it lifts my mood like nothing else, anytime I feel like not going I know it is my I unexercised mind telling me stories, once I start moving weight it’s like changing a radio station in my head and the negative affect fades away.
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#104The key to building relationships with people is that you need to spend time with them. A lot of time. That's a big reason why it's so easy when you're young; you're constantly put in classrooms with the same people.
It works pretty well as an adult too. Take an in person class. Something 1-2 days a week for a couple months. You meet people and you learn something.
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#105My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…
This worked for me, too (except I’m usually the one walking by rather than the one waving people over to chat).
If you don’t like small talk, a great way to interact with neighbors is to offer your help, e.g. if you see someone doing work outside, gardening, etc… offer to lend a hand!
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#106Bouldering gym and various meetup groups
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#107My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…
Beautiful. Does it ever feel challenging in any way, like you're fighting against a social norm?
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#1081- Beer. Way back when I first started working in Portland, a few of us got together after work every Thursday for beer. People moved on to other jobs, but some kept in touch, and over time we built up a nice core of people, maybe a dozen on average, who would get together every Thursday. New coworkers always welcome, and some of those would become regulars themselves. It kind of fell apart, however, towards the end of the pandemic when the nucleus of our group passed suddenly from cancer. We still try to get together, but it isn't quite the same.
2- Neighborhood. We moved in this neighborhood about 10 years ago when all the houses were being built, and we socialized with the other families buying homes. Now we know almost all of the neighbors within a 5 minute walk. Aside from a couple weirdos, most people are really nice even if sometimes a bit shy. It's great to be on cordial terms with the people who live around you.
2a- Poker. The guys of the neighborhood get together regularly to play Texas Hold 'em. Not for a lot of money, just to have something to do and people to connect with.
2b- Bunco. The gals of the neighborhood also have a regular gathering, generally audible for an eighth of a mile away, Bunco must be the funniest game in the world.
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#109Hackerspaces! Check this list [0], maybe there is one close to you – and if you by any chance live in Oslo – swing by Hackeriet [1]. [0] https://wiki.hackerspaces.org/List_of_Hacker_Spaces [1] https://hackeriet.no/index.en.html
Hackerspaces are awesome!
Im quite active at https://k-space.ee in Tallinn, Estonia.
Re: Ask HN: Where have you found community outside of work?
#110My local Catholic parish. Besides the obvious spiritual benefits, it's a great place to connect with other families. Also, me and my wife have young children at home that act as a pretty constant source of community.