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Forget Self-Improvement

deliberatism.com

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Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#81

Post by einhverfr »

karjaluoto wrote: post #46
NinetyNine wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In my experience, pleasantness and unpleasantness are day to day feelings that sometimes work in my favor and sometimes don't. Many times I have a responsibility which requires unpleasant things, and it makes it more difficult to do, and might make me unhappy if my happiness is based on daily frustrations and successes. That type of happiness tends to have very little to do with our goals. Since it's also very unpred…

I like this perspective. There's just one problem with it: while many would likely find it sensible, most don't share your ability act in a rational fashion. I'm of the mind that most people are overwhelmed by impulses; therefore, they choose what's immediately desirable, over what they know to be the right thing to do. Then of course, my post isn't altogether that different from yours, in terms of its applicability…

You don't start out this way with it being a habit. You start out by saying "I want to make this interesting. What game can I play while I do it?" Maybe it's seeing how fast you can take out the garbage. Maybe it's something just picked up for the sake of the challenge (the GP used running as an example).

The point though is that if you do this a few times, it will start to happen more and more and eventually you will make a habit out of it.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#82

Post by einhverfr »

karjaluoto wrote: post #6
lincolnq wrote: post #4

Interesting viewpoint. It does seem like the people who are naturally most driven are naturally more likely to succeed, because motivation is at the root of almost everything humans do wrong on a macro scale. So there's a reason that a lot of self-help is about trying to hack motivation. Is it working? Not yet, I don't think, but it seems like we might be on the cusp of it working. I guess your observation boils down…

Precisely. There's no hack for motivation that's more effective than actually enjoying something. If you like it, you'll do it, and with time the rewards (often) increase. If what you're doing is good for you, you may introduce some positive habits. As an example, I hate going to the gym. It doesn't matter how much I should be going, I just hate it. The routine tasks, the big guys who grunt, the sweaty machines: gros…

Corollary:

If you don't enjoy something as is, see what you can do to introduce a side-game so that it is both enjoyable and a challenge.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#83

Post by einhverfr »

karjaluoto wrote: post #32
keeptrying wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your sticking to the narrative and not what actually happens in a practical sense. You dont get to be CEO till your company has happy customers paying you moeny and your making a tidy profit. Till then you'll do anything and evertyhign thats necessary - most of it is unpleasent. 10% is fun.

Maybe being the CEO isn't the point.

Ideally the point is doing something interesting and seeing your work change the lives of other people for the better.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#84

Post by georgieporgie »

drcube wrote: post #76

Runners and writers got over the hump to get where they're at. They didn't start out in tranquility and joy. It took some work to get to the point where it's no longer work. Like an aquired taste, there's "aquired fun".

I've read that rock climbers have a saying, "fun doesn't have to be fun."

(admittedly, I never heard that in five years of active climbing, but upon hearing it I immediately understood it to be true)

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#85

Post by georgieporgie »

I'm not certain I understand the author's point, but I think it might be in keeping with what Strength's Finder 2.0[1] says. Basically: don't try to improve your weaknesses, instead capitalize on your strengths.

[1] http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx (for the record, I heard about it on HN, bought it, did the survey, and was a bit 'meh' about the results. Basically, it told me I should be exactly what I already am, but I'm not happy as I am, so it was a bit of a wash)

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#86

Post by SonicSoul »

i'm not sure if it's as simple as finding what you love. starting a company comes with lots of things you must force yourself to do in order to achieve the dream. just like getting a girl requires you to swallow your pride and risk rejection. you may love to run, but not waking up every day at 6am to practice for that marathon, even though the end result could be an experience of a lifetime. the self help can be of great help in pushing you to work a little harder towards your goal, and it does work. At least i can give it credit for helping me identify and overcome some self limiting beliefs i wasn't even aware i had.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#87

Post by jtheory »

danielson wrote: post #61

"Self-improvement is masterbation."

You'll need useful skills to do any good in the world.

Spelling, for instance, might prove useful if you need to gain the confidence and the respect of others through written communication, in the pursuit of your larger goals.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#88

Post by jtheory »

tertius wrote: post #68
abraxasz wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I still have a problem with the statement "...make time to find out what you really enjoy". Sure, everybody wants that. But take the example of running, or writing. Well like many people, I hated running at first, I really did. But I sticked to it because, well maybe it was some kind of challenge I had set to myself. And I got better at it. And I started to enjoy the feeling, to understand the messages from my body.…

So what you're saying is that we all need to make time to find out what we really enjoy? tongue in cheek I agree and I can mention many examples of my own in this regard where I didn't enjoy something until I tried for a while. What a luxury to have the time and resources to "find what you really enjoy." It seems to be a first world problem kinda thing and coming from 1st/3rd (South Africa) it's a little paradigm shi…

It's a point that really does need refinement, though. Even if only for the first-world young adult with the luxury of misinterpreting it and wasting years of first attempts.

"Taking time to find out what we really enjoy" by default sounds like taking the time to try lots of different things, assuming that when you try "the right one" you'll know instantly that you've found it.

That's a first-world problem to be sure -- think of kids in their early 20's (still kids...) trying out entry-level job after entry-level job and finding them all tedious and boring (well, yeah, you're not going to get a really interesting job in any industry until you're capable of it). Or traveling the world on Daddy's dime to "find themselves", but still not really finding much besides how to ask for a beer in 7 languages.

Too much choice is a bad thing psychologically, on the whole. Too little sucks more, to be sure, but the sweet spot is not "always higher".

"What you really enjoy" (like "your true love") isn't some fated truth that needs to be found, and you'll know it instantly on sight. There are tons of things that could be "what you really enjoy", and tons of people who might be "your true love", but either way it's going to take prolonged effort to make that come true.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#89

Post by thesash »

ISeemToBeAVerb wrote: post #13

I think this article makes a valid point, but manages to miss the bigger picture. It's true, you should love what you do. You should want whatever it is you're going after. BUT (and this is a big but), what you're going after isn't always going to be lovable. In fact, sometimes you'll downright hate it. The problem with achievement in any endeavor is that people assume it should FEEL easy. They assume that their lack…

As a marathon runner, I can confirm that even after running for 10 years, there are still many, many days where it just plain sucks. The real secret is that the hardest days, the ones when you're tired or sick or just not feeling it, are the ones that matter the most for your training program.

Re: Forget Self-Improvement

#90

Post by svdad »

9diov wrote: post #71

"You might consider simply finding what you love, and letting the rest take care of itself" - Man, what a great advice. Let's apply it to relationship: "You might consider simply finding Mr/Miss Right, and the rest take care of itself". How does that sound to you?

Exactly. There's a lot good about this post but this business of "finding what you love" is meaningless. There is no one thing you love. Just like there is no Mr/Mrs Right. The good advice in this blog is that the secret to succeeding at something is to stop analyzing why you're failing and do it _as if_ you love it, as if you're doing it because you love it. That also happens to be the secret to a good relationship.
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