Earlier quoted context omitted.
I know you mean well. But I strongly urge you to reconsider your parenting here. You should not be going through your teenager's text messages... that is absolutely insane. My parents were kind of similar and I had a very negative experience growing up as a result. I still remember my mom throwing out all my NiN CDs I had bought after she read the lyrics. And all my DnD material because Satan was controlling my brain…
how do you teach them what the right choices are if you don't actually see their choices? if your teenager is texting on TikTok with a 40 year old man who's asking them to send them underwear pictures, how do you find out about that except by reading their text messages? we don't know from the singular fact that they're reading through teenagers text messages how heavy handed that monitoring is. Maybe there's a recur…
You teach them principles, obviously. Or are you planning on weighing in on their choices for the rest of their lives?