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Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

openheartproject.com

41–50 of 77 posts

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#41
post #33

There's only one of these Good Things I regret never having succeeded at starting, and that's journaling. As I'm getting older, I realize there are more and more years during which I've been alive and it's getting harder to look back at them and make sense of them, or remember when a particular thing happened. I'm 45 now, which really isn't that old, but also not that young anymore. When I was younger, say 25, I had…

I found the https://1secondeveryday.com/ app to be great for recording snippets of my day which I can look back on and quickly remember.

There is a lot of information that can be captured in a one second video of your life every day for 25 years.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#42
post #10

This approach works if the stuff you want to get done also is very enjoyable. Nobody wants to wash the dishes, do maintenance or clean up, but it has to be done. The question is how does this work for things you want to get done, but it's hard. Say I want to make some form of rubber duck app, but with an AI voice. The idea is great, I talk my programming ideas and she'd respond back, giving an illusion of listening.…

We are talking about enjoyable projects. Dota 2 might not be a project (unless you plan to become a pro). Doing something out of passion is a value in itself that should not be ignored. In music this is what often differenciates the true geniuses from those who are just very good: passion. If you have to sit down and practise an instruments for hours a day it totally helps if you are passionate about the instrument.…

Passion is definitely not what distinguishes the very top classical musicians with the tier below.

At the very high end it’s talent, recognisable brand, and having something to say to the world.

At the very top, everybody works hard, but only a few are selected to have solo careers.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#43
post #18

Doing only what you enjoy prevents you from getting what you want, if what you want requires action you don’t enjoy. If the pain of not being where you want to be is greater than the pain of remaining where you are, you’ll take action. It’s great if you enjoy what you’re doing. But often we enjoy where we want to go more than what we have to do to get there. I want a clean house more than I want to clean it, which is…

> If the pain of not being where you want to be is greater than the pain of remaining where you are, you’ll take action.

Not necessarily. Some people don’t feel deserving so they stay where they are. A victim of their own torturous mind.

Also learned helplessness is a real thing.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#44

> I will rise at 5. Meditate, 530-630. Journal 630-730. Breakfast 8-9, that is very ambitious if not pathologically ambitious. > Yesterday, I finally realized ... But I suggest ... s/he has been failing up until the previous day and is already giving public advice about how to do it better? that's not just questionable, it also shows a lack of self-reflection and unhealthy levels of impulsiveness. if that text wasn't…

> s/he It's a "she": https://openheartproject.com/about/ > has been failing Not so sure about that. Read the page at the link (It's the "About" page on the site).

i know what you are getting at. but wrt to that article she self-assessedly has been failing up until then.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#45

> I will rise at 5. Meditate, 530-630. Journal 630-730. Breakfast 8-9, that is very ambitious if not pathologically ambitious. > Yesterday, I finally realized ... But I suggest ... s/he has been failing up until the previous day and is already giving public advice about how to do it better? that's not just questionable, it also shows a lack of self-reflection and unhealthy levels of impulsiveness. if that text wasn't…

> s/he has been failing up until the previous day and is already giving public advice about how to do it better? This was my thought exactly. The internet is full of articles along those lines: I've been doing this new routine for 2 days, here are 8 pieces of advice for you. I recognize the enthusiasm for sharing new discoveries, and it can be inspiring, I just wish those who did would be generally less prescriptive…

it's my impression that a lot of life coaches sell a strategy that they themselves didn't really explore and verify and then basically use their customers and recipients to convince themselves that they know what they are talking about.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#46

> I will rise at 5. Meditate, 530-630. Journal 630-730. Breakfast 8-9, that is very ambitious if not pathologically ambitious. > Yesterday, I finally realized ... But I suggest ... s/he has been failing up until the previous day and is already giving public advice about how to do it better? that's not just questionable, it also shows a lack of self-reflection and unhealthy levels of impulsiveness. if that text wasn't…

[deleted]

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#47

This approach works if the stuff you want to get done also is very enjoyable. Nobody wants to wash the dishes, do maintenance or clean up, but it has to be done. The question is how does this work for things you want to get done, but it's hard. Say I want to make some form of rubber duck app, but with an AI voice. The idea is great, I talk my programming ideas and she'd respond back, giving an illusion of listening.…

Isn’t washing dishes one of the few instantly rewarding actions available in todays’ workspace? The feeling of warm water running over your hands, the immediate change, the purity that you create, the complex pattern of light reflecting in the water drops, the sound of it… To me, this is an immensely pleasant activity. Sure, if I’m in a rush, I just load the dishwasher and jump to other things, but otherwise this is…

Man honestly, washing dishes was one of my favorite activities in the mid of the covid pandemic. It was like a therapy, where I would not be caring about looking at any screen or listening to all the (valid) drama.

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#48
post #2

> Yesterday, I finally realized that this method would never, ever work. I was shocked. But it never, ever has. I’ve been after myself on this score for, what, like ten years? Had it ever worked once in that time, I asked myself. No! I had a similar realisation a few years ago. I used to try to come up with side project ideas by sitting down with a piece of paper and writing down every idea I could think of. Then, I’…

I spent much of my life doggedly clinging to the idea that if I managed to beat myself hard enough, morale would improve. It worked, insofar as it kept me going for years, and years, and took me places - but by the end I was a husk. This path leads to burnout. Post-burnout, the floggings continued until I finally got it through my thick skull that I was inflicting harm on those around me, as watching someone you love…

I think I started being very mean to myself at age 12. It's weird to find someone else who ended up in this situation. I hope I can go back like you did, one day :-)

Re: Getting Stuff Done by Not Being Mean to Yourself (2010)

#50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> s/he has been failing up until the previous day and is already giving public advice about how to do it better? This was my thought exactly. The internet is full of articles along those lines: I've been doing this new routine for 2 days, here are 8 pieces of advice for you. I recognize the enthusiasm for sharing new discoveries, and it can be inspiring, I just wish those who did would be generally less prescriptive…

it's my impression that a lot of life coaches sell a strategy that they themselves didn't really explore and verify and then basically use their customers and recipients to convince themselves that they know what they are talking about.

It's a variant of the classic book "how to make a million dollars" which contains the advice "sell a book giving instructions on how to make a million dollars by selling a book about the same".

Here it's read life advice on the internet to be able to get stuff done to promote life advice on the internet.

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