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People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

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Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#121

Post by JoelSanchez »

cedws wrote: post #103
martindbp wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Much easier said than done. I doubt you'll feel the same way when that old age approaches, just like teenagers who think life is practically over by 40.

>just like teenagers who think life is practically over by 40 Sorry but... it kind of is, no? You've probably got a family weighing you down so you can't travel anymore. You don't have the freedom to start new exciting ventures. You can't quit your sucky job because it supports your family. You go to parties that end at 9pm and your social gatherings consist of talking about traffic and grocery prices. You're probabl…

my mom is 48 years old, she loves her job, no one depends on her, has a different boyfriend every month, goes to the same parties I go to (which end at 6am) and we even share some friends (im 29). definitely not over

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#122

Post by harlanji »

effingwewt wrote: post #106

Crazy this showed up today. I do this 'existential calculus' quite often. I also sometimes wonder what the point is when it just gets worse every year. My therapist told me it's because I'm a survivor , it's what I do . But what's the point of surviving? At what point do I get to live , much less be happy? She pointed out it would be throwing away all my battle scars, all the effort I'd put in to get this far. Just t…

> He next question was whether I was an organ donor.

That's dark. I've been homeless for 5 years (including working full time and having never been an addict). I'm very healthy so for a while I felt like I could be targeted by black marketeers like organ harvesters.

> I completely see why people turn to hard drugs, I consider opioids daily almost.

I joke that if I were to give up and become an addict at least someone would help me because it'd be their job. I've always been a hard worker and hate being unemployed, I'm obviously not waiting around for handouts. The situation is just that impossible to solve, "no man is an island" except the homeless and similarly beat down people I guess including the ones who turn to suicide. It was humbling to ask for help for the first time in my life and be preyed upon or abandoned at best.

Never imagined myself here. Will never consider suicide, but the math and pressure to get rid of myself from my relatives and former friends is obvious. I always thought I had a support system but indeed what "they" say is true: everyone is in it for themselves. I constantly look for ways to be valuable to others, but on a desert island and sometimes literally starving there are few opportunities.

Helping others is the key, while not being exploited by predators.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#123

Post by deelly »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #66
vanviegen wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In others, like this one[0], I find it doubly tragic, as there are proven alternative solutions "eight years of help and 21 stints in rehab" sounds like they tried pretty hard to find a better solution. Not everyone can be cured.

Like I said, I personally know folks that have been clean for decades, and went through worse. I’ll be hanging out with a bunch, tonight. Addiction is a very strange problem. Lots of folks have opinions on it, but I have experience with it. And that’s about all I’ll say on the matter.

I don't want to be arrogant or looks like moron, but how can you know that people that you know "went through worse"? How can you measure it? I`m really curious, because all my life I live with understanding that there no way to measure other people feeling, emotions, suffering.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#124

Post by beebmam »

kashunstva wrote: post #118
theowaway44 wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I'm getting older (mid 40s), I have a different view now than before. I've seen people die in real life, and it was horrific. Even in hospital beds with morphine drips. I don't want to die in agony, or slowly suffocating as many do. I'll end it before it goes too far. I think more people should actually go to hospitals and see how real people die, instead of the comforting movie version where the family is gathere…

As helpful as it can be in some respects to project oneself into a future time and circumstance, humans are often bad a predicting how they would decide on serious matters until they actually find themselves in that situation. This is particularly true in cases where quality of life is at issue.

Usually it's the family that makes decisions at that point in a hospital for a patient, and they often make horrendous, selfish decisions and prolong the patient's enormous suffering before death.

Give people comfort care asap if they have a terminal illness, at the very least.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#125

Post by coldtea »

louwrentius wrote: post #45
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #30

This is something that I have had some personal experience with. I've known quite a few suicides, and survivors of the suicides of others. Very much a "walk a mile in a man's shoes" kind of thing. Everyone has opinions on the matter, until it hits them. Then, they have personal experience (not just an opinion). It sucks. In some cases, I can see why someone would want to end it all. In others, like this one[0], I fin…

And often there is no other solution and I’m very happy that people in my country have a choice about this. I would not want to see others suffer so that I won’t suffer their loss.

>I would not want to see others suffer so that I won’t suffer their loss.

The world being what it is, it's increasingly the opposite: others left or encouraged even to commit suicide (assisted or otherwise) so people dont have to help and support them.

In Canada it's increasingly becoming a trend for poor people to commit assisted suicide, not because they have some incurable disease and pain, but because they can't get by and are depressed by it.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#126

Post by GordonS »

blooalien wrote: post #70

Wish I could say this headline didn't hit home. Not gonna commit suicide, but I sure do fantasize about dying every waking moment. Living in constant pain for over a decade'll do that to ya… Rather be non-existent than exist in a state of such misery as to make living genuinely impossible.

Hey, fellow chronic pain guy here, though "only" 8 years and counting so far! I have CFS and Small Fibre Neuropathy, which pain-wise means I have constant neuropathic and muscular pain in my limbs.

Unless someone has lived with chronic pain, they won't be able to understand what it does to your mental health. Living in constant pain is hard - fucking hard. I've really struggled, and if I didn't have a family, without a doubt I'd be dead by now. Even with my family, I spent a lot of time fantasising about suicide, and one time I almost did it without l even thinking about it. It also turned me into a pretty horrible person, who slowly pushed away many friends, and made life difficult for my family.

Thankfully, I'm finally coming to terms with it, and I now have meds that actually help. I use an opioid and ketamine. The opioid helps a little with the pain, as does the ketamine - but really, the ketamine improves my mood, a lot.

For the past couple of years I've also been using cannabis - this has made a huge difference to my mental health, general well-being, and family life! Having the ability to be essentially pain free every evening after hitting a nice heavy indica is... amazing, in a way that only someone who'd been in constant pain for years could understand.

If you have access to legalised cannabis wherever you are, I can't recommend it highly enough. Christ, even if it's not legal, it's worth thinking about.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#127

Post by guerrilla »

This is a blatant false dichotomy. People can stop suffering by stopping living. If a person perceives the probability of continued suffering in life as very high with no ability to effect that then stopping living is their best chance to stop their suffering.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#128

Post by guerrilla »

harimau777 wrote: post #107

I've heard someone describe suicidal ideation as like being halfway through a multiplayer game where you are getting stomped: It's not that you want to rage quit, it's just that the outcome feels inevitable so you wish you could skip to the end. Or like turning off a ball game early when your team is down by an insurmountable points at the end of the third quarter. For at least some people, it may not be that they wa…

> For at least some people, it may not be that they want to die, rather it may be that they predict 30+ more years of an unsatisfying life and wish that they could just skip to the end.

This is exactly it. It's surprising that people can't see this as obvious.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#129

Post by throwawayadvsec »

vanviegen wrote: post #55
ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #30

This is something that I have had some personal experience with. I've known quite a few suicides, and survivors of the suicides of others. Very much a "walk a mile in a man's shoes" kind of thing. Everyone has opinions on the matter, until it hits them. Then, they have personal experience (not just an opinion). It sucks. In some cases, I can see why someone would want to end it all. In others, like this one[0], I fin…

> In others, like this one[0], I find it doubly tragic, as there are proven alternative solutions "eight years of help and 21 stints in rehab" sounds like they tried pretty hard to find a better solution. Not everyone can be cured.

The first step would be to understand that rehab is not the solution to any kind of problem.

Rehab is about making a lot of money, not healing people, they benefit from relapsing, they have zero incentive to help people.

Re: People who die by suicide want to stop suffering, not to stop living

#130

Post by 2-718-281-828 »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #30

This is something that I have had some personal experience with. I've known quite a few suicides, and survivors of the suicides of others. Very much a "walk a mile in a man's shoes" kind of thing. Everyone has opinions on the matter, until it hits them. Then, they have personal experience (not just an opinion). It sucks. In some cases, I can see why someone would want to end it all. In others, like this one[0], I fin…

people seek alcohol in pathological amounts to numb a pain they carry around. you don't know what pain that was for him and what caused it. not everybody stumbles into alcoholism out of habit, partying too much or work related stress.
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