The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
english.elpais.com
The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
1–10 of 115 posts
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#2Interestingly, cowboys didn't work alone.
They had teams of real people that they had to work with and trust along with their horses and the cows themselves.
Even homesteaders would typically pull together for building, digging, playing, dancing, harvesting and more. The west was colonized by people with active social lives working together and depending on each other.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#3I spend so much of my time intentionally trying to cultivate community. In some respects, it is the over-arching theme of my adult life. I find community is very hard to come by so if I have to be the one to make it, so be it. I pay a pretty penny to be a member of a coworking space so I don't spend my workday alone. Three times per week I go to regularly-scheduled events (a game night, running club, and roller-skating night). I'm every week I try to coordinate events between friends that I have made through these groups. I've learned to be an even planner, match maker, (second rate) therapist, baby sitter, and referee. I definitely spend more mental cycles on my friends than I do on work.
The amount of work that I needed to put in was enormous. It was hard and scary at first. I was a wall-flower. Inviting people I don't know well to do something fun is not a skill that I was born with (quite the opposite). But with all this effort put in, I am finding that after multiple years of effort the value is starting to really pay dividends.
I guess the over-all point that I am making is that the American Dream is that you can live how you want, so if you want community, make that your Dream and go do it. Looking back, I really feel like I am an entrepreneur of friendship, and I think that at the end of my life I am not going to regret it.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#4No it doesn't.
The American dream has always been about bringing the family unit up with you as you ascend, because for most of this nation's history, it was impossible to achieve any real success without the help of family members around the home.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#5The modern version of the American dream is an extremely toxic ideology. It promotes such an extreme version of individualism that it's threatening to tear apart all the social safety nets still existent in the US while also glorifying excessive wealth hoarding.
It is absolutely bonkers that we've gotten to the point where cheating on your taxes can be viewed as a virtue.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#6No it doesn't. The American dream has always been about bringing the family unit up with you as you ascend, because for most of this nation's history, it was impossible to achieve any real success without the help of family members around the home.
That was correct once - but now living with your family is an extremely rare decision. The "cool" thing to do is to move out when you're 18 and occasionally visit your family before moving them into a snazzy retirement home. Co-living is hardly ever portrayed in pop-culture outside of immigrant families where it's usually played up for laughs.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#7The modern version of the American dream is an extremely toxic ideology. It promotes such an extreme version of individualism that it's threatening to tear apart all the social safety nets still existent in the US while also glorifying excessive wealth hoarding. It is absolutely bonkers that we've gotten to the point where cheating on your taxes can be viewed as a virtue.
[flagged]
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#8The modern version of the American dream is an extremely toxic ideology. It promotes such an extreme version of individualism that it's threatening to tear apart all the social safety nets still existent in the US while also glorifying excessive wealth hoarding. It is absolutely bonkers that we've gotten to the point where cheating on your taxes can be viewed as a virtue.
[flagged]
[flagged]
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#9The modern version of the American dream is an extremely toxic ideology. It promotes such an extreme version of individualism that it's threatening to tear apart all the social safety nets still existent in the US while also glorifying excessive wealth hoarding. It is absolutely bonkers that we've gotten to the point where cheating on your taxes can be viewed as a virtue.
[flagged]
It appears that way when the richest people in the country are able to avoid them and bribe politicians to use the working class tax dollars to bail them out every time their risky behavior causes problems. When it’s actually used to properly fund public services we spend less money for better services at the end of the day.
Re: The American Dream convinces people loneliness is normal
#10Maybe unpopular opinion but these types of articles exist to make people more dissatisfied and distract them from going after what they need.
A couple PhDs don't know what you need. They can tell you to focus on friendships, but you'd probably work less, and they don't know what your life would be like if you had less money and for example couldn't afford a car, or if you became disconnected from your work friends.
In general if you have a strong work ethic at something, even if it's working toward the American Dream, you're probably doing exactly what you need to be doing. The solution isn't to get distracted by lifestyle articles and try to go foraging for friends in a cliche way, the solution is to get better at what you're working on. Sometimes that means finding a new path that fills the same void, but you're going to have a hard time until that void is filled.
Usually you'll find friendships fall into place when your life is in order and has clearer direction because you find like-minded people.