Live data from Hacker News

How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

andreizgirvaci.com

81–90 of 124 posts

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#81
post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You don't need to pay somebody Your advice is good but there's nothing wrong with getting a professional to help you if you have the means. I've made more progress in the last two years with a good therapist than in twenty years of reading self-help books. It's hard to overstate how much a good mentor/coach can improve your progress in almost every endeavor.

> It's hard to overstate how much a good mentor/coach can improve your progress in almost every endeavor. Any suggestions how to find a good coach as a SWE? I have 8 YoE and was most recently a staff engineer at a small-ish startup, and the perspective that job gave me has kindled some thoughts about taking my career to the next level, but I feel like I need a little bit of guidance.

I've interacted with a few business/life coaches over the years, and I have found that clicked perfectly for me.

To find them a combination of: - Using search engines for "life coach" or "business coach" in your area

- Find people that you respect in your industry, reach out to them over twitter/linkedin/email/whatever, clearly stating you're looking for a coach, and if there is anyone they recommend.

After you find a few, I suggest just trying them out. Book some sessions and see how it goes. I use these criteria:

- Has worked with engineers in the past.

- Is able to clearly articulate boundaries and approach in the first session

- Willingness to test and measure. Understanding and appreciating the lean startup approach essentially.

- Is solution and goal oriented. Spending weeks/months talking about the problem without attempting solutions is a waste of everybodys time.

- With you can quickly develop a shared understanding of what success looks like.

- Can build a rapport with you, and you can build the trust required for total honesty.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#82
post #37

As a junior, I started out loving my job. Then the bad decisions from management started and I started to love my job less, I still woke up with some excitement. 2 and a half years later: today what I do has more to do with pressure and deadlines than with learning and/or doing the right thing. Today, I find it unsustainable to work 8 hours a day, I've come to hate what I do, I can't imagine looking for another job d…

Most of us old timers have been there, done that. At some level, it never changes. It is VERY difficult for work to provide your true meaning in life. 95% of software is personal preference. Most code will be thrown away when priorities change. Do the best you can and learn when you can. Management will always make poor decisions and are usually not interested in unfortunate truths. Work should only be what is requir…

To expand on the personal preference this part can be either a blessing or a curse depending on whether or not you are in a position to be able to force decisions in the codebase. It grinds my gears having to work with nitpickers but I am currently trapped in that kind of setting at my current job. It sucks.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#83

Seems to be more and more common among cyber-security professionals as well.

The threat actor(s) are free to attack any day any time. Infosec has to be on the ball 24/7 while having imperfect visibility and a ever changing attack surface both inside and outside.

And security vendors promise the moon and stars and then later it's all "you have to tune it" gee thanks for the hundreds of alerts I have to "tune" while still working with 30+ other tools that we've been trying to tune.

Am I bitter? Yes.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#84
post #11

As a junior, I started out loving my job. Then the bad decisions from management started and I started to love my job less, I still woke up with some excitement. 2 and a half years later: today what I do has more to do with pressure and deadlines than with learning and/or doing the right thing. Today, I find it unsustainable to work 8 hours a day, I've come to hate what I do, I can't imagine looking for another job d…

Is your manager or anyone else in the team harassing you? If not, then your anxiety might come from an expectation that you must love every part of your job. Use something like pomodoro (this is simple and works: https://brainpls.work/ ) to do one task at a time. Once your work day is over, go do something you enjoy.

>> Is your manager or anyone else in the team harassing you?

No that's not the problem.

I suffer a lot with context switching all the time, I'm responsible for many serious things that could lead the startup to a completely failure.

I'm really not sure if I have the skills for the task/challenge, etc. People like me and my job, but I'm pretty sure I don't have the skills for so much just yet, I think that is the source of all the anxiety. Plus doing/feeling it 8h/day every day kills my mind.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#85

> I was very lucky to come across a YouTube video that talked about anxiety and how it manifested. Did I miss the link to this youtube video?

Hey, sorry about that. I can't remember the exact video I watched, but it was talking about anxiety and it's symptoms. It wasn't the exact video that was so important, it was the understanding that what I am dealing with was Anxiety.

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#86
post #55

> Today, I am excited to announce my 4-week daily guided program, The Anxious Developer Program! Ah, there it is.

Yes. That is all there was to it. Just an informertial

I am sorry if you didn't find anything useful in that article. While I am inviting people to sign up for my program in the end of the article, I also believe I gave enough tools and practical tips that someone can try and apply in their daily life that might benefit them. I am speaking from my personal experience and suggest things that helped me in the first case. My point was not to write 1 hour blog article about all causes of Anxiety and how to heal every single case. Was there something else you expected to find that I didn't cover? I would love to know. Thanks!

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#87
post #35

Side note: 4DWW - Four Day Work Week would do a tremendous amount of good in reducing stress. Currently I don't have enough time for life: I'm tired after work, one of the weekends is a chore day (catching up on life stuff), when do I live? Stress.

Yes, totally forgot to add it. I updated the article now. Was such a good read. A lot of things I do today is because of that book!

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#88

imho software engineers are the most susceptible to the hyperactivity that often leads to these types of maladies - which ultimately flips from “working 100 miles an hour” to “only able to work 2 hours a day”, aka burnout Byungchul Han is what’s been saving me - almost like philosophical therapy. has helped me to realize the societal origins of a lot of the expectations i inflict on myself hope his frameworks might h…

I agree on this!

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#89
post #40

I've been experiencing similar things recently and have also been making a couple of changes to try and help. Removing caffeine/alcohol has been a huge one for me -- initially I found it very difficult to not drink, because I thought that drinking always leads to 'fun'. After stopping, I tried a couple of times again to drink (a couple of glasses and even one total binge session). I've noticed that I just don't enjoy…

Breaking a habit is usually very hard, so kudos to you for stopping. Everything should be in moderation. Alcohol/Coffee can definitely backfire. And taking a break from them even for a short time can make such a huge difference. It will give you that extra mental energy to get on things that can actually benefit you like exercising, meditating or anything else that will be beneficial!

Re: How to reduce stress and overcome anxiety as a software developer

#90

You have to fill up your cup before you can fill others. Perfectionists are well known to hardly ask for help and in life that's the catalyst for being able to make more time for yourself. Say no to more things. Spend more time on finding out more about yourself. Start to understand your emotions around the constant trauma you're living through and have lived through. You don't need to pay somebody $150 for this advi…

Totally agree on the The Body Keeps the Score. It was a hard read at the time as the author described hard scenes which I would start feeling anxious just listening about them, but it was necessary for me to understand how is the trauma stored in the body and what to do with it. I totally forgot to add this book in my recommendations. It's added now. Thanks!

I agree, you don't have to pay for my program $75-$150 to overcome Anxiety. You can totally do that with a Therapist or by yourself, which in my case was a combination of both, but also I went through some anxiety programs that gave me information that the Therapist didn't gave me at the time even when working with multiple ones.

I also believe I gave enough tools and practical tips in this article that someone can try and apply in their daily without paying me anything as I am happy to share with them for Free as long as it helps even 1 person. I also was doing that with my podcast while not charging anything. But, I can see your point of view tho!

Post reply on HN