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Why don’t more people live close to friends?

annehelen.substack.com

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Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#431

Post by ihateyouall123 »

prottog wrote: post #416
lynx23 wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand why people like to bath in drama like this. Yes, there are statistics... But, to be a bit cynic, you can spend your whole life being afraid of everything. But you can not spend the rest of your death being sorry about the decision that led to your demise. IOW, I'd much rather have a burden-free life where I might be a little unlucky and die before I reach the average lifespan... Instead of being ca…

> a burden-free life where I might be a little unlucky and die Unlucky is being the victim of a random crime that leaves you crippled for life, not a clean death. I follow someone on social media like that, who was shot and left a paraplegic in a high-crime city. Parts of Baltimore are objectively dangerous and it's not being dramatic to acknowledge that or want to avoid it. At some point it had a higher murder rate…

[flagged]

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#432

Post by JasserInicide »

mikrotikker wrote: post #174
philsnow wrote: post #55

> why don’t we do this? The fetishization of the nuclear family, of course, as well as the building and zoning codes that facilitate that fetishization. Zoning calls them "single family homes" but it doesn't call it "nuclear family homes" or anything like that. Single family homes are more about American individualism [0] and not wanting to share anything if you don't absolutely have to. That's why, outside of at mos…

> insane density-averse zoning policy Hell is other people. I way prefer to live in low density areas and I do. If I can see my neighbours house, that's too close (my neighbours are actually wonderful). I live on the edge of a suburb with a goal to push out further into the rural areas. Where I'm trying to get to is a more commune style property where those that are closest to us can come and stay or live, with share…

but don't make me do that please.

No one's making you do anything. So sick and tired of seeing this persecution complex, mainly from conservatives. "They're forcing me to eat the bugs! They're forcing me never to own a car! They're forcing me into a pod!" It's the only response you can muster when others with different opinions from yourself discuss different ways of living. Get a life, seriously.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#433

Post by dionidium »

> 5.) Many States Aren’t Safe — For So Many Reasons

> I’m not talking about crime, don’t be ridiculous. I am talking about states that have criminalized or significantly curtailed gender-affirming care and body autonomy.

This is an interesting question, but you're not going to get the answer from a terminally-online culture-war-addled substacker who thinks that gender-affirming care has a bigger impact on where "marginalized people" choose to live than crime.

Worrying about crime is "ridiculous?" For marginalized people -- who are the principal victims of crime, who bear the brunt of criminality in the United States, who express in poll after poll that it's of primary concern to them? No, surely it is a lack of access to gender-affirming care that's motivating the black exodus from North St. Louis.

This is simply not serious.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#434

Post by ihateyouall123 »

scarface74 wrote: post #106
rcarr wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here’s another thing no one talks about because it’s taboo: drink driving. Right up until the mid 70s, it was completely socially acceptable to drink and drive. Now I agree that it was probably a good thing that’s it’s been banned, but having to pay for and organise transportation to go to whatever event it is you want to go to adds another substantial layer of friction to socialising. Not to mention the fact that th…

Uber makes things a lot simpler.

Found the rich person who thinks 50$ to go 8 miles is normal

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#435

Post by ihateyouall123 »

doublerebel wrote: post #192
scarface74 wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Uber makes things a lot simpler.

I agree. A DUI costs easily $10K regardless of outcome. Lost opportunity cost of not networking (job opportunity, friend opportunity, happiness, therapy) easily has the same cost over just a few years. Uber is very cheap in comparison… many people don’t make the comparison.

I had a DUI. Cost me 3k-ish. It only cost 10k to hire an attorney who will tell you to plead guilty anyways. Money well spent...

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#436

Post by yunwal »

anthonypasq wrote: post #408
yunwal wrote: post #390

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like parks in most of the U.S. are dominated by activities. Sports, jungle gyms, etc. Often times there’s not a great place to just sit down and socialize.

every single park ive ever been to does in fact have this weird little thing called grass

But there's also the sprinklers that go off every minute to keep the grass looking healthy so no one can sit on it. Or the grass is part of the baseball field. Plenty of good parks in the US for hanging out but wayyy more bad ones where just socializing seems like an afterthought, or not a thought at all.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#437

Post by treis »

yunwal wrote: post #390
treis wrote: post #349

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You think parks are "almost absent" in North America?

I feel like parks in most of the U.S. are dominated by activities. Sports, jungle gyms, etc. Often times there’s not a great place to just sit down and socialize.

Now I'm wondering if you think we have tiny parks or gigantic playgrounds

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#438

Post by wnolens »

jabbany wrote: post #26

> You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Really though? Anecdotally I feel the opposite... Proximity tends to breed opportunities for conflict. Personally, I really appreciate the distinction between neighbors that you have a more "professional" relationship with versus friends who maybe you have fewer day-to-day contact with but can be more intimate emotionally...

Conflict is part of relationship. The less you spend time with someone, the less intimate it is, not more.

What you seek is the benefits of relationship without any of the drawbacks. But they come as a package deal.

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#439

Post by ihateyouall123 »

TylerE wrote: post #155
WaffleIronMaker wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Sprawl exists because it’s nice. I think the vast swaths of single family homes have much more to do with restrictive single-family zoning rather than just because there's demand for it. In many areas, there is clearly demand for more high density housing as well, but often mixed use developments are not available under restrictive zoning laws. I hope someone more qualified than I could expand on how the FHA influe…

This sort of view is needlessly antagonistic of those you may be trying to influence. People like what they like, stop telling them they're wrong for liking it! We're not all able-bodied extroverts that are unbothered by noise.

The irony of telling someone to stop giving an opinion. You can smell it. You can taste it!

Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?

#440

Post by subtra3t »

shadowofneptune wrote: post #235

A citation in this article can shed some light on how it is for gay people: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-wh... > In LGBTQ circles, placing a high value on friendship has long been common. Carroll, Rivera, and several other people I interviewed for this story, absorbed the idea of “chosen family”—that those besides blood can decide to become kin—from this community. Though he and Rivera ne…

I would think that most members of the LGBTQ+ community in most parts of the world are shunned out of their traditional familial and friend circles (neighbous, classmates) due to their perceived abnormalities.

This would force them to actively seek out friends (perhaps facing a similar situation to them) and value them more due to them already knowing what it is like to be without them.

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