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I find it hard to believe that there’s some agenda against friends out there. What I find much easier to believe is the auto industry lobbying against public transport and for urban sprawl.
Why don’t more people live close to friends?
241–250 of 572 posts
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#242Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah, totally safe walking drunk in Baltimore at night...
Lay off the Fox News
Or even Wikipedia: "The American city of Baltimore, Maryland, is notorious for its crime rate, which ranks well above the national average. Violent crime spiked in 2015 after the death of Freddie Gray on April 19, 2015, which touched off riots and an increase in murders. The city recorded 348 homicides in 2019, a number second only to the number recorded in 1993 when the population was nearly 125,000 higher."
In context, the UK, with 65+ million people had like 700 for 2022, or around 60 times less per population...
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#243Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a bit of an unconventional POV, but I don't consider large areas of suburban sprawl to be cities but just really big towns. This covers Houston, swaths of Atlanta, lots of Southern California. There are lots of people living there compared to rural areas, to be sure, but without the density to support usable public transportation (once-an-hour buses don't count), it's really not a city at all. It's endless su…
If anything, you are being too nice to US suburbs: It's perfectly possible to have towns that are much denser than any US suburb. My Spanish home town has about 100K inhabitants: You'd not call that a city anywhere in the US. And yet, It's basically a circle with a one mile radius: Yes, just one mile. In that situation, one can walk everywhere, and public transportation is limited to the elderly, people carrying heav…
I live in a small town of around 2000. Within 5-10 minutes walking I got: a restaurant, a cafe, a grocery store, pizzeria and kindergarten. Within 5-10 minutes of biking I have: public library, another grocery store, two bars and a restaurant. Public transport is readily available to take me to the neighbouring hustle-bustle (pop. 600'000) within 35 minutes. So my town is 50 times smaller than your Spanish example but it is perfectly possible to have all these services at this scale as well!
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#244Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'd far rather go for a long drive in a comfortable car with scenic views than go to a bar. My closest (in both meanings of the word) friend is three hours away through a scenic mountain pass and when we go there its for an entire weekend. This gives time to help with things like building a shed or swapping an engine in a car.
Heh. I live in a city and more and more I feel this. The whole idea behind urbanism seems to be - give up the outdoors, give up hobbies that require tools and space. Go to the bar. Or a "makerspace" where you can have controlled use of someone else's tools. Rent this, rent that, take an uber here and there. It's just so commercialised.
Though I will admit, I do miss being able to walk downstairs to one of many bars, have a few drinks, maybe end up at the local greasy spoon, and walk home. Can't have it all, I suppose.
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#245Earlier quoted context omitted.
How? My eight year old daughter gets to roam free and has seven or eight different kids she plays with on a weekly basis. A few of them daily. We’re not worried about her getting carried off because the area is super safe. We lived in the city before and it was dangerous and the neighbor had a crazy pitbull chained up that’d break out all the time so we couldn’t let her out of the house. It’s also very diverse, her f…
I've found that it's more about the person than the area. My friend is an urban activist and he always complained that his childhood neighbourhood wasn't conducive to meeting people. Recently I learned that we actually grew up just a few bus stops from each other. For me it was never an issue to hop into a bus/subway train and reach my friends - usually unannounced.
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#246Isn’t being friends with your neighbors a far more obvious answer to this? I thought that’s where this was going. > Sometime during the pandemic lockdowns, I began to nurture a fantasy,” Adrienne Matei writes. “What if I were neighbors with all of my friends? Every day, as I took long walks through North Vancouver that were still nowhere near long enough to land me at a single pal’s doorstep, I would reflect on the p…
All the kids on the street hang out together, playing games, kicking some soccer ball, going to the woods, etc. People on the street were so close together that it was possible to organize "cleaning the street" events from time to time where everyone would gather up with their gardening tools etc and we would just go through the whole street, cleaning up overgrowing grass, cutting out weeds on the forest border, etc.
I must say, looking back, this was a wonderful time and a GREAT environment to be raised in. I think that being a part of a small community like that is really important for mental wellbeing.
Unfortunately, all of that pretty much died along with my mother and grandmother. Other elderly people on the street died as well, the community loosened up, new people moved in and I rarely see them or know their names, they are not interested in random chatter on the street (at the rare occassion you ever meet them outside the house) and I don't have the courage to pick up my mother's wonderful idea of "coffee time". A bit of a shame, but I'm still trying to get to know the people around my place. The way things are going here in Poland, I might need to pick up Duolingo and launch some Ukrainian course though :)
Anyway, just venting
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#247Earlier quoted context omitted.
How? My eight year old daughter gets to roam free and has seven or eight different kids she plays with on a weekly basis. A few of them daily. We’re not worried about her getting carried off because the area is super safe. We lived in the city before and it was dangerous and the neighbor had a crazy pitbull chained up that’d break out all the time so we couldn’t let her out of the house. It’s also very diverse, her f…
I've found that it's more about the person than the area. My friend is an urban activist and he always complained that his childhood neighbourhood wasn't conducive to meeting people. Recently I learned that we actually grew up just a few bus stops from each other. For me it was never an issue to hop into a bus/subway train and reach my friends - usually unannounced.
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#248Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not just bikes makes it feel like the solution to everything is to be like the Netherlands. In that sense it's a fraud. To some extent yes you should be more like us and offload some of that traffic onto a bike path. To the extent that works and is efficient. But... I have lived here all my life. It is not a solution to anything else. It turns out, bikes do not talk to each other very much either.
But after arriving at destination, people can talk, no? You also dont get bothered with parking and everything is much closer, so less time in traffic, so much less thinking about how to get to destination and more about how nice it will be spending time with friends. But imo trains are better, even less thinking about commute. Living in Zurich for a bit was eye-opening. I took a breakfast with my friends in train, l…
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#249Earlier quoted context omitted.
My personal theory is that suburban sprawl killed the "third place" in modern society. If you have to drive to a place to socialize (which probably involve drinking), then you're probably not going. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place
My hypothesis is it's connected to the decline in religion, or, more specifically, the mandatory church on Sunday type of religion, no matter what flavor it took. A built in semi-mandatory third place seems pretty nifty as far as building social relationships goes. I'm an atheist but I do remember building bonds this way in those heady pre-smartphone days. It's a shame the baby is stuck in the bathwater.
This is in contrast with dominant religions (including Christianity) in other countries.
Re: Why don’t more people live close to friends?
#250Access to friends is probably the biggest reason I prefer dense urban environments. There’s something magical about being able to step out your door and be within a 10-20 minute walk of close friends or family. It invites casual get togethers like Saturday afternoon coffee or an after work drink. Living an hour or two apart kills these opportunities. I recall walking through Vienna one weeknight evening and being ama…
In the big cities, of course, everyone plans ahead. Which is great for productivity but pretty awful for socializing.
Urban culture revolves around productivity, while in smaller towns here, everyone seems happy being non-productive if it means keeping their social life.